Parenting

I cant believe in just a couple days baby N will be an entire month old. It's crazy to think about how quickly time is passing, even though the first couple weeks we couldn't have felt more turbulence of the incredibly steep learning curve. But every day is a little easier, although each day is different from the last. I already cant imagine leaving him to go back to work. Gosh we love him so much.... our little bundle of joy, stress, love, sleeplessness, newness, awesomeness.... words cant begin to describe it all.

I am especially thankful for all the visitors we have had in the first month.... i cant forget, even though i didn't take pictures of everyone. Theresa, Lauren and ken (lauren twice!), Jessie, Andi, Faith, Chris, Ben and Andrea, my parents, matt's family, Elizabeth, Marisa, my friends are amazing.  I need to take more pictures, so i can remember.... too soon i will look back and wish to have the days back.

Hope you and yours had a merry christmas. And a very happy new year!

He arrived

I am waiting on the pictures from his first days, but he came on December 3, 2011. 8:40am, 6 pounds 9.6 oz, 19 inches long. And full of cuteness.

Day Before Thanksgiving Post

As I sit at work counting down the hours until i get to go home since no one is in the office, i figure i might as well continue what i started here by writing down those things i am thankful for as Thanksgiving approaches tomorrow. Now, ordinarily i would be in a much better mood considering tomorrow is a day off filled with lots of food. But i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and am feeling pretty down on myself. And the fact that i feel like my house is a mess.  Two things that can really put a big weight on my shoulders. Not sure what changed between yesterday and today-- yesterday was Matt's birthday after all.  But alas, here i am... where do i start?

I guess the first thing i have to be thankful for is this little baby boy that we are anxiously awaiting to meet in just a couple weeks. Although who knows when he will decide to arrive. I am feeling anxious about it every day.... not really thinking about the labor, just more of WHEN will he BE here? I cleaned up my office today at work-- threw out a BUNCH of old papers in anticipation of leaving my office fairly clean in the anticipation. I ran into the big, big boss today on the elevator up to the office and he asked me how many more weeks. I said just over two-- and his response was 'wow- really so any day now!' And THAT, my friends, sounds crazy!!  How quickly and SHORT two weeks can be.... and really it could be less. or more..... but i am really hoping less.

Another thing i am thankful for is my health, my husband's healthy, my family's healthy, and my little pup's health. Although i think he stubbed his nail a couple days ago and he has been baby-ing it the last couple days. Poor little man.  Compared to 2010, this year has been a MUCH healthier year for those closest to me.  I attended WAY more weddings than i did funerals.... and that is a GOOD thing.

I am thankful that i have been able to carry this baby-- relatively problem free- for the last 9 months. Just hope the home stretch goes well. And he arrives safe and healthy.... that would really give me something to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my good friends in my life-- and the ones that have gotten closer to me as the year progressed.  Realizing who those friends are in my life that will matter going forward. Those friends that are honest and caring.... and raw in the truest form. There is nothing to try to be or try to hide, because we are who are and we love each other for it.

I am thankful that i have an incredible husband. Really, my husband is the greatest. And i know i can complain about him sometimes on here, but really when it all boils down he could NOT be any better. He is always helpful, and supportive, and loving, and everything I could possibly need. We have such a great marriage and he makes me happy in every way.   And throughout this pregnancy, I couldn't have hand-picked anyone better than him. He is PERFECT.

I am thankful i have a job, and a good paying one too-- as self-serving as that sounds. Since Matt is losing his job, i am sort of thankful for that in a way... even though i am not sure what I will be thankful for.... but in my heart of hearts i think something good will come of it. Something better... for everyone.  I am thankful for my patience.

I am thankful for those around me who have also gotten pregnant this year. From last year-- not even really having any close friends or relatives-- to this year when not only will there be births, but next year lots more babies and LOTS more pregnancies forthcoming. It's like a new chapter in our lives... and for a bunch of my good friends and family. We all turned the page together, it's exciting to see what's in store, things will be so much different from now on.

I am also thankful for my house, a nice car, and all those material things that have been afforded to me. I know i am lucky.

So with that list, i will end it here. Until next time... Happy Thanksgiving!

Thinking about Christmas... and other random thoughts this week.

It seems like every time I update this thing I always seem to comment on how quickly time goes by.  But it sure does feel that way.... where to begin since the last post?

Things have been busy- as usual-- finishing the last touches on the nursery. It's about 95% complete-- minus a few more things to add to a couple walls, and little but of organization from the old 'office' that the room previously was, and that's probably about it.  By demand, here is one of the pictures I snapped last weekend. You can see the bedding and the furniture to give you a feel for what it looks like.

Our good friends J and S had their baby boy last weekend- a baby boy born right on his due date!! She has been my little rock as we have experienced almost our entire pregnancy's together. It's been great, and now that she had her baby i know what is in store for me. I am SO excited for them, and I think about them every day because i cant wait to meet the new little one and talk to S.  I am preparing things at work for my time away, it's surreal to me how little time there is left before the baby gets here. I feel like there is always something i want to get done-- like Christmas shopping and decorating-- but the motivation in that department seems to be lacking quite a bit. It would be nice to be on 'wait-mode' come December without a laundry list of things to do.  Christmas- ordinarily my all time favorite holiday-- seems daunting this year.  I love to feel  Christmas, I love to listen to Christmas music, look at holiday lights, feel cheerful, give great presents, snuggle up to my Christmas tree light.... i love it all. But I feel a little overwhelmed by it this year... and my spirit of giving seems less present. I dont know why that is.... i just want to hangout at home with my new little family of 3 this Christmas and relax by the Christmas tree light. Without a laundry list of things to do, presents to wrap, people to entertain.... i wish i felt differently. Or at least i hope this feeling fades in the next week or so... i guess we will see.

I am overall very happy though, and filled with all kinds of emotions right now. Anxiousness, excitement, curiosity, trepidation, love, appreciation, o the list goes on. I am ever more appreciating those wonderful people in my life-- especially those that have been so supportive and loving throughout this pregnancy. I loved seeing a whole slew of our friends last weekend for J's little party for his MBA, i love seeing my in-laws, or the random breakfast outings with friends at Echo. I love feeling the excitement of those wonderful friends.... it's a great feeling.  I am getting better at losing thoughts of those 'old' friends that are hardly present in my life-- if at all-anymore.  And trying not to let other- not-so-great friends get in the way of my positive and good feelings. It reminds me of those few lesson's i posted about back in March here. Life is too short to waste time with people like that... there just isn't enough time in world for it. Fill yourself with goodness and surround yourself with people that make you better (and visa versa).  Those lesson's need to be taught to others sometimes-- remember that love and trust and two very important pillars in any relationship. Without which, there are better investments for your time....

Until there are other things to discuss...

One Month and Two Days

One month and two days, that is exactly how far away my due date is. Crazy. That is 4 weeks away. Crazy! I am certainly not wishing the time away,  but it is quickly escaping me.  This past weekend was nice and very productive; we saw Matt's friends J and his gf B up in Mt Adams and ate Teak that night. It was a good kick-start to the weekend of BABY N. Saturday morning we got up and went to a breastfeeding class, then went out to lunch at Red Robin and then went on a HUGE shopping binge for the babe. I clipped every coupon i could find, took all the gift cards and mailers i have received so far, and headed into BuyBuyBaby and Babies R Us to get the rest of the stuff we need for the baby.  The nursery is REALLY coming together. We have stuff on the walls, little things organized in baskets, clothes put away in the drawers, bedding set up, monitors in place... things have taken huge strides forward. We just need to put up a few more things and organize some of the reminisce of the old 'office' and we will be ALL set for baby! I cant believe it. Where has the time gone? Seeing the room all set up has really made me excited.

The rest of the weekend was nice too-- even though Sunday was much slower. We got up early (thanks for clocks changing) and headed to church. It was a great mass, with a baptism-- which seemed so fitting. Fr. Knapp turned to me at one point during the mass, pointed to my belly and said "you're next.' It was such a funny but cool feeling. We love that guy! We of course had to say hi after mass and he was filled with excitement and support for us.  Later that day we met up with C, C and J and ate homemade pasta and meatballs while hanging out and watching football. It really was a FANTASTIC end to the week.

It's amazing how much support and love we have received these last few months. AND SO MUCH HELP! My mother-in-law came down and helped me organize clothes last week, and even gave me a few items to help me organize. My sister-in-law also gave me a good deal of hand me downs so we have lots of cute things for this little guy.  We even have some cute Christmas outfits that are hand-me-downs that I am excited to use!  We have been overwhelmed with generosity. My co-workers G and L want to help me decorate or stencil the nursery, and my sister-in-law has offered to help with any more organization too.  It's amazing. And so uplifting.

Last night we went on a maternity tour of the hospital-- and that was REALLY cool. It was a flash forward into what to expect. We even saw some ADORABLE little babies. Even though we were walking around talking about labor and delivery,  all i could think about was all these new little babies and how excited those people are in all the rooms we passed must feel.  It was kind of like a turning point for me-- not that i wasn't excited before-- but it made me REALLY excited to take home our little guy.  I didn't even think of the stuff that makes me anxious or uncomfortable... all i could think about was holding out little person we created. 

I cant believe only 4 more weeks until the due date.... I cannot believe it....

until next time.

End of October Update

It's been a busy month of October, I am sad to see the month come to a close in just a few days. It went so quick. We are going to Seattle tonight for 4 days with my 2 brother-in-laws and my sister-in-law. It's sort of our last hurrah before the big switch. I am looking forward to spending some time with the family, doing and seeing something different... and hopefully relaxing a bit.  I know it will go quick. And then it's Halloween the day after we return. It's crazy how quick that holiday snuck up on me, and this is the first year since matt and I have been together than i didnt do much decorating in my house, or make our trip to Lynd Farm to pick our pumpkins and apples. It's sort of sad in a way.... but we have been very busy with the baby prep.  I hope to decorate for Christmas a bit a head of the game this year.

My weekend was nice, although it feels so long ago by now. We saw B, A, C and N for dinner at our house. It was uneventful and good to catch up with A who found out the day before she came over she is having a baby BOY! I am happy we are both having boys-- just 3 months apart. In other news day that day,  I got a pretty nasty grease burn on my right arm that day whole prepping the chicken for dinner that night. I hope it heals and goes away soon, it's pretty ugly. Saturday was a day spent running errands,  tying up odds and ends kind of stuff, and hanging out with my husband. It was a good day before Sunday where i had an N family shower and my nephews 4th birthday all in ONE day. It was exhausting, but nice to see everyone.  We got some good stuff, but we still have quite a few essentials to purchase before we can call the baby room complete.  In fact, it's still far from. My favorite gift was the INCREDIBLE rocker/glider my mother-in-law bought us. In fact, it's SOOO comfortable  and so awesome!!! It's all put together and i love just hanging out in it. It's something we will keep forever i know. She also bought me some maternity clothes, some baby clothes and few other small things... i feel so spoiled sometimes and lucky to have a mother-in-law that makes me feel so special and loved.  It was a good weekend, and a busy start to the work week.

The baby is getting bigger and bigger every day, in fact his movement are very intense now.  We are getting closer and closer to the name, although the labor day is getting more and more real to me. I don't want time to speed up, although the last 6 weeks i know will fly. I cant believe we only have 6 weeks left as only 2 of us at home. It's still seems strange and abstract to think about, even though we are so busy getting ready for his arrival. There is still a part of me that still seems surreal.  I still cant believe i feel that way, because some days i am so ready to be done with pregnancy. It's like my back pain has a new flavor of every day. And now my internal temperature gauge is no longer calibrated... and when i feel hot i feel kinda sick.  I do get a lot of attention from onlooker now, servers at restaurants, and just friendly comments in general. Matt's family made me feel really good on Sunday by being so complimentary about my 'little basketball in front me'... even thought i feel that couldn't be further from the case. I don't anticipate anything getting any easier from this point forward, but at least the there is little time left and i need to enjoy it as i can never get this time back.

Shower number 2

This weekend Matt and I were home in C-town for a baby shower thrown by my mom.... It was a really nice turnout, lots of family came, some close family friends, my best friend, my sister flew in, even the one HS friend I still managed to stay in touch with.  It was really nice, and the food from Bravo was absolutely delicious! I am still so touched by the generosity of some of those closest to me, especially those not related to me but very close to my immediate family.  I still cant believe it, and the same held true when we got married.  I guess we are really loved:)

It was also really nice that my cousin C, drove up from Dayton to attend when i literally had ZERO expectations for people out of town to make the trip. It was nice to catch up with the family on the G side, considering i rarely seem them as much now that Grandma is gone. They are all so excited for me, and so supportive, and full of compliments. It really made me feel good, especially when my self esteem hasn't been the highest.  My favorite moment was this one,  and I just looked at my cousin;s blog-- and she recorded it (which seems unbelievably sweet, too).  It's me opening the present my Aunt A got me, a baby blanket. But not just any baby blanket, a blanket made by my Grandma. The card said she made some baby blankets specifically for her grand kids to have when we have babies and this was one of them.  When i look at the video i start tearing up. And it was one of those moments when i looked around i saw everyone was tearing up. Even some that arent on that side of the family.  What a profound impact that women had on us, and it makes me sad thinking that she has this planned before she passed.   She is dearly missed, and her presence can still be felt by everyone in moments like this one...:

Friday, FINALLY.

I've been away for a little bit as I slowly wade through the craziness at work. But IT"S FRIDAY! And i am in a good mood, the sun in shining, I have things wrapped up here for the weekend, I had some good conversations today with my coworkers G and L, had a great dinner last night with CV and J, and had the BEST surprise EVER at our front door yesterday when we got home. V and T from Chicago sent us PORTILLOS Chicago Style Italian roast beef!! And yes, you may think that is weird, but ever since we went to their wedding back in March Matt COULD NOT stop talking about the roast beef sandwich he had. And it was even more amazing that they thought of us and REMEMBERED how much he loved it.  They had a little note saying something along the lines of enjoying this 'home stretch.' INCREDIBLE friends we have. Just made me so happy!

Don't have much time to write, but here is a picture at Matt's friends wedding last weekend. Here we are, 31 weeks along. Just a few more!!! And we are getting close to picking a name-- lots of good things happening. More soon!

My weekend

So here am I am sitting at my desk, right about the enter the super busy time of the year... YEAR END. And i cant help but smile when i think about how great my weekend was.  It started off a little rocky when i had a doctor's appointment on Friday and realized i gained over 20 lbs already. YIKES. That was a bit of a sticker shock, considering i haven't had a month yet where i have gained over 5 lbs and here i am with a 8lbs gain . That's 2 lbs away from 10 lbs in ONE month! welp.  But i am trying to be ok with it. And i say that right after i just popped a few pieces of candy in my mouth.

Anyway, after the appointment  I met up with a few old friends. LL (who just got married and i went to HS and grade school with) BUT also went to UD who was visiting her old roommates that i was also friends with. One who lived right across the hall from me sophomore year and right down the hall from me freshmen year, JC. Also saw MS who is amazingly sweet. I saw her at LL's wedding last month for the first time in over a year and when she saw me this time she brought me a little baby present! I couldn't believe it, people like that are gem's in the world.  The entire afternoon was filled with laughing, catching up, tons of loove. They are such good people, so supporting, AND so caring.  You cant help but feel good to be around people like that.

Friday night we went up to Dayton to Chappy's bar to send off my friend JS who is going on a civilain deployment assignment in Iraq and Afghanistan for 6 months. It was fun to catch up with more old friends who came in to town to see him off, and just hang out.  It was such a good day, and i couldn't wait to wake up for Saturday because that is the couples shower J and S were throwing for us.  It was SO nice and everyone who came (and there were quite a few) really meant a lot to us. We invited only friends so no family were invited and kept it a little smaller.  I was blown away by the thoughtfulness and generosity of some of our friends. In fact, i am still in awe of it all. And i need to remember these times when i feel down, because we have SO many good people all around us. We are so blessed.   After the shower, we hung out at the bar with A, J, S, J and Matt while we waited for S's husband to come pick her up. It was relaxed and it felt good, I wish some of these great friends of ours didnt live in Dayton but in the same city as matt and I.

We didnt do anything exciting or eventful the rest of the weekend, but the weather was beautiful! It was upper 70s, no humidity and SUNNY! It was gorgeous, and it just put us in a great mood.  We ran some errands and went on a walk with Odie, relaxed the rest of the weekend. It was so nice. Yesterday was our 2nd anniversary and we celebrated by going to Carlos and Johnny's for a great steak dinner.

This week is moving along slowly, the weather is grey and cooler, and it feels like the season has officially changed. But even through all the gloominess outside, we have  enough sunshine to last us for a little while. And we are getting closer to the big day when we get to meet the little guy.

MS, Me, LL, JC and AG at Starbucks

Reason ten billion and one

I don't have much time to update or write, but I just cant reiterate on here how much I love my husband. He is always so loving and kind to me, and always knows how to make me feel better. While we were waiting in line to get our lunch this afternoon, I don't know what i said but he told me he was thinking last night before he went to sleep that he just loves me so much and wishes he could spend a million years with me.  I felt like tearing up because I know the feeling.

I am so lucky.

Until next time....

The Balancing Act: Work vs Family

Today I spent a couple hours at Leadership Development Event for the higher graded DoE employees who are women.  It was a panel discussion for Women in the Senior Executive Service (SES)- which are the highest leadership positions within the federal government. It was really interesting and it gave me a lot to think about regarding the balancing act between being a working mom and building my career, and being a family mom and shelving all those ideologies.

It really is a struggle to think about- especially now for the a little guy on the way. The ideas really never came into my mind until now. I have always thought i'd work hard, make a good amount of money, and live a successful life. Especially going through the MBA program at UD it is one heck of a male dominated, COMPETITIVE environment. It's very dog eat dog and the best rise to the top. You worked hard for you A's, and you knew the handful of others in the 'A group' because the rest weren't as competitive nor did they do the time.  That lends well with a new and young professional entering the workforce. I was confident and competitive when i got to my job 5 years ago. In fact, i was motivated and energized by my boss who really believes in me. She was my champion and threw me into all kinds of projects i knew NOTHING about but got my name out there.  And i am thankful for that, because i am doing pretty well right now.

So now what is next for me? I know I wont be in this position forever. It's not good for me professionally to stay in one place, but does that means it's also not good for me personally?  These women in the SES (Senior Executive Service) make a lot of money, but put in a lot of time... and are also the most likely to be asked to move around both organizationally and geographically.    You need to work hard to apply and be accepted into one of the positions, but is the reward worth it?

One of the panelist talked about passion at work and putting in long days. Lately i have been feeling a little passionless at work, i look forward to getting home and hanging out with my husband, friends and family. I look forward to weekends filled with fun activities. These women didnt really talk about their home lives, in fact many worked a lot of weekends. Only one spoke of her children and how she couldn't do it all without her support network of neighbors, family, and friends.   Prioritizing is critical-- and that keeping a clean house and having a home cooked meal is NOT a priority.   But how do you figure out what your priorities are?  And then where do you find what passion (work or home) is more important?

Do I feel the way i feel because I didn't have a working mom a lot of my childhood? I wonder if my perspective would be different. I talked to my boss about it briefly whose mom worked when she was growing up. She is also very successful right now, does that mean if i worked through most of my kid's growing up it would be hard but that they would have two role models for hard work and dedication. What is the right choice?

This never seemed to be an issue twenty years ago. Women were not generally in the workforce. And even now, this issue really only applies to women. Even though we are much more prevelant in executive positions, it is only women who need to take time off to have children. Some women decide having children is not as important as having a successful career and make the choice as ONE or the other. Why is that the case?  This doesn't seem fair either.

I guess I dont know if i will ever solve the answer here on this little blog of mine... but it is something i have thought a lot about as we are now starting a family. My paradigm has definitely shifted from the 'Work Hard- Play Hard LATER' mentality. I do want to be around my kids a lot of the time, i just have to figure out how that jives with my job. Or if i will always have a job..... I just dont know.  How do you figure it all out? I just don't think there is a balance, i don't know if you can have both. Or can you? There is no need to play super women, no one can do it all.... but how much can you really do and still feel fulfilled and satisfied? Rarely have i heard a dedicated mother talk about how unsatisfied she is though....

Just something to think about....

Dear Baby (entry 1)

Dear Baby,

I cant believe how big you are getting inside that belly of mine. And I still cant believe how fast these months have gone since you were just a little glimmer in our eyes. Your official due date was exactly 3 months from this past Saturday, but I have a little feeling you are as anxious to meet us as we are to meet you that you will be making your arrival a few days early.

We have some names picked out for you, so far the top runners are Michael (Mike), Christopher (Chris), and Nicholas (Nick).... well, those are the names your dad and I could agree on together. Even though my list was a little bit longer.  Who knows when we will officially decide,  but we hope you like whatever name we pick. We want it to sound strong and successful like we know you will be.

You have been one ACTIVE little fella these past few months that i have been able to feel you. I cant quite figure your schedule out, but i feel you all the time during the day. You haven't really given me any trouble, you seem to be in a good position, although sometimes i wish you would move down a bit because i have a hard time breathing sometimes.  And sometimes you give me indigestion.... but hey, as long as you are comfortable I think i can handle it. I know you really like going on walks and exercising, you  go ot sleep really quickly during those times. I hope the same tricks apply when you are outside. I also haven't discovered if you like some foods or others based on what i have been eating and your level or movement. I have been eating a lot of fruits (grapes, strawberries, nectarines, etc) almost daily so i hope you like those. I also each s good amount of raw veggies daily (like carrots and tomatoes) so i hope you have grown some fondness to those as well. I just want you to be healthy and strong when you grow up.  I did eat quite a bit of pasta when i was in Italy a couple weeks ago-- so either you will love it or hate it with the lack of variety those days. I apologize for that.

We are still getting ready for you and acquiring items so you are comfortable when you come home. We want you to feel comfortable, safe and warm... and of course VERY loved. Your big brother Odie is also very anxious to meet you, although he will probably want to lick you all over.  I think you two will love each other a lot as you grow up.   You have a lot too forward to in the next 3 months!

I cant wait to see what's in store for you and us, i am am trying to savor this time before you arrive because i know you will change a lot of things for us. For the better, of course... but lots of changes. You dad cant wait, he tells me ALL the time.  He talks to you too, although he gets really close and it probably sounds loud. He says he loves you every day.   Keep on growing in there, see you in a few more weeks!!

Love,
Mommy

The 27 week update

So last week was a brief peak in the Fall with temperatures in the 60s and low 70s, it seemed like so much has happened since i last updated. I went to Italy a couple weeks ago on vacation and it was really nice and relaxing. It was hot and we did LOTS of walking-- and that was nice-- but also ate SO.MUCH.PASTA! Delicious, o yes, but SO MUCH!! It's nice to be back to the comforts of American fair and routine. Even though work is tiring lately.

Not much has happened in the week i have been back, just catching up with people and trying to get ready for baby. I went shopping and dinner with E last week and loved every second of it.  I didnt buy anything but it was good time spent. And her MOM made us a baby blanket made with blue, sparkly silver, yellow and white yarn. My favorite colors. AND it was HAND MADE!! It was insanely thoughtful, i am still tickled by it when i think about it. We also caught up with B & A for A 30th birthday party, and the N's since Matt's dad was in China last week as well.  Tonight I am going to the Reds game with J & A, to make it feel like summer again compared to last week.  It was a busy and quick week last week, today is the first full week back and it's feel a little daunting.

At 27 weeks the baby's arrival seems ever so close!! Our first shower is just a couple weeks away! We made a big purchase on Friday night and bought our crib and that made it feel EVEN closer. When we went to buy it was realized it was on back order for 9-12 weeks, and the crazy part-- THAT IS TOO MUCH TIME TO WAIT!!   Luckily there was one still in stock in the Lexington store so it was moved to the one in Mason and we just need to pick it up.  WE also need to move some furniture out of the office and start searching for a dresser and a changing table (both of which i am way less picky about) but get them together and upstairs.  Then it will really start feeling real when i walk passed the nursery every day.  And every day Matt and i both tell each other how much we CANNOT wait to meet this little guy! I know it's bad to wish time away, but it sure it flying!!

Good weekend and Update

I cant believe we are practically in the doorway of September! We are almost within 3 months of my due date, TIME is going by so quickly!!  It's the last three months as a family of two, and gosh we cant wait to meet this little guy! This past weekend at our friends J and S's couple shower really got us looking forward to what's to come for us.  Although  it did make me feel a little ill-prepared considering S really has it together. And everything is all set up in their nursery and they have practically everything they need. And the due date is only ONE month ahead of mine.  But i know we will get it done, i just don't like stressing about it.

We did go to BuyBuyBaby this weekend to look at furniture-- they are INCREDIBLY helpful in that store. Way more helpful than Babies R Us, but the selection can feel overwhelming to some. On the other hand the sales people are so knowledgeable about their products and can answer just about any question you throw at them. And their customer service is impeccable.  They are associated with BedBath&Beyond, so that gives you a little indication. We didn't want to register there because i think there are only 2 locations in Ohio, and that makes it a little difficult since all of our family and friends are spread ALL over the state. But we did pick out a crib that we both really liked, that had good reviews, and the sales person who helped us gave us good input to make us feel informed about our choice.  Now we just need to find changing table and a dresser (that will look good together).  O ya, and actually purchase the crib.  I hope we do that right after we get back vacation.

I am sad to see this weekend come and go, but it was filled with all kinds of highlights!  And a few little things that made me feel really loved (and made the baby feel really loved!).  So in no particular order:

• Getting an email from my boss on Friday night with a list of names from her two SONS  that they brainstormed for possible baby boy names. ( I LOVE getting this kind of stuff!)
• Seeing S so cute and pregnant this weekend, and getting all kinds of excitement from our friends at the shower this weekend.
• Opening a present from S this weekend congratulating me on Baby BOY  with a really cool gadget in there. a Bib drying rack (an invention from a friend/SAHM/engineer) some bibs, a cute little onsie and a candy bar
• Seeing E this weekend and catching up with her. It's nice that she always makes time for me, she is such a good friend. And she surprised me with a bunch of cute little baby boy newborn outfits! The first outfits for the little guy, and they are all ADORABLE! It was SO sweet and SOO generous!
• Getting as little gift wrapped present from my boss in blue tissue paper with 2 books inside it. Two books that she loved and read to her two sons. One is even about having a little boy. I thought the gesture was so incredibly thoughtful. I love those kinds of things, and it was really sweet she thought of me.
• Having help from CV and CB this weekend as Matt starting re-doing almost all of our flower beds. And CV was incredible, he got us plants for cost from JJ and even delivered them to our house AND spent like 7 hours at our house yesterday pulling up our beds and helping us plant.

We have some amazing friends! And it seems like i am getting exciting news about more of them having babies right now, and how fun will it be to have them all grow up together!  There is so much in store for us, cant wait to see!

The first Baby surprise

I guess the one thing about having kids are all the surprises that come with the package. I guess i just thought about this, that as they grow older they are continuously surprising you with what they know and what they can do.  It's probably one heck of a journey! But now that i write that, the first surprise came on Monday when we had our 20 week anatomy scan  *although, it was 23 weeks+ for us* and we found out if the little person inside of me is a little girl or a little boy.... and the surprise is....

A BOY!

I definitely was surprised!  My coworker Jon told me NOT to find out, that is all part of the fun and anticipation.   But really, it's just one of the many surprises that we get to have. And the day that the baby comes is an entirely great surprise all in itself... so why NOT get an additional day of surprise out of the experience?  I was thinking it was  girl, but i guess subconsciously expecting a boy... if that makes sense. Maybe because growing up there were a lot of girls around, my parent's friend's kids were mostly girls... i have more girl cousins than boy cousins.... the list goes on.   But Matt comes from a long line of the exact opposite.  But the cards fell and the verdict was a baby boy. The more i think about it, i think it's great to have at least one boy in the family. I always wanted an older brother-- and i think the oldest child has personality characteristics (generally speaking) that might fit better with a boy.  Plus,  I cant wait to go to baseball games or soccer games, whatever sporting events that come out way. Maybe this kiddo will play HS football, who doesn't love going to HS football games?  I know we have lots of new and fun experiences ahead of us.

I am also happy to know that my friend S is also expecting a baby boy on month before us-- so it's fun we already know the kiddo has some friends. Matt's cousin is expecting a little one in March, and our friends B and A are also expecting in March-- i hope they have boys too! 
 I guess it's time to bring on the BLUE!!!

There are the good days, and then there are the bad

Today started off as a bad day..... And yes, those days usually fall far between to the good days. But the bad ones sure are a struggle.  We had a perfectly nice evening last night, we met our friends J and D for dinner at Brazenhead in Mason and had a nice night with them. We drove back in some bad storms but it was still a good night. Then i went to bed and i haven't been able to click back into gear since. I woke up around 2am- of course, having to go to the bathroom, i went downstairs to get a snack and a drink then go right back to sleep. But I couldn't fall back asleep. I wasn't uncomfortable, i just had severe insomnia. I couldnt turn off my brain.  I was thinking about the baby's room, and where to re-arrange all oue stuff in our small house. I was thinking about all the things we need to do. I was thinking that i didn't like it how i have to ask my husband to things he doesn't take initiative by himself. I was thinking about how i dont like my body image right now. I dont feel like a cute pregnant person, i just feel big.  I am not so happy in my job right but but i feel stuck. I go to work the clock seems to tick by, i haven't felt happy and fulfilled at work in a long time. I didnt want to go into the office today. I took a really long shower last night and all i was doing was stewing about how i am doing an accountants job for one item on my plate and that i am sick of being a good performer.  Why don't people do their jobs?   It doesn't make me happy to think of these things.

And when i woke up this morning, Matt hadn't cleaned up the living room that i JUST cleaned up and dusted and vacuumed 24 hours before. He had papers and stuff all over the place for the tractor stuff he has been working on last night. AND i specifically asked him before i went to bed if he couldn't straighten everything back up before he went to bed.   Then i proceeded to ask him about the nursery and tell him what i was thinking to re-arrange and he wanted nothing to do with it. But i have been thinking about it for the last 2 hours in the middle of the night.  He wanted to leave the office and combine it with our guest room. And we have NO room anywhere. We need to ditch the office and just have a guest room. So then we got into a HUGE argument in the car about how i don't want a filing cabinet and our useless printer in our guest room. And i just said, fine, Ill do everything myself since all he does is road block and offer no advice. I am still upset about it. WE have no room in our house!  I don't know where we are going to put everything. Our bedrooms are so small.  I am stressed thinking about it, and it's putting back into a slump writing about it.   I don't know what to do. 

Today is a struggle for me. And it doesn't help that i have back to back two-hour meetings from 9am until 1pm today... when i usually eat lunch around 11:30.  I know i will be tired and hungry.  I am tired already this morning, SO tired actually. How will i muster through the rest of the day with this mentality and feeling like this. On top of feeling not so great about myself in general right now.  Today is a hard day.
I can only hope that tomorrow is better.

It has to be.

Quick update and SHARK WEEK!

It's been a busy week but i don't feel like i have much to show for it. It seemed to go fast though and that is always nice. I had some good walks with Matt this week after work and even ate some delicious new meals from the book What to Expect When You're Expecting: Eating Well When Your Expecting. There aren't a ton of recipes in there, but there is enough variety that you can fill a week or a few days with interesting recipes. Matt really liked what we had on Wednesday, i cant remember the entire recipe but basically it was:
Cook chicken breasts sliced.
In a pan cook tomatoes, shallots, garlic, and spinach until soft. Add back in the chicken. Then boil some rotini (whole wheat or reduced carbs pasta) and add some mozzarella and Parmesan to the pasta after its cooked and drained. Then mixed everything together. You wonder where the sauce is, but you don't need it. O ya, and top off witha little salt and pepper and lemon zest-- the entire meal is packed with delicious flavor! Matt loved it.

Another highlight this week is that it is SHARK WEEK! One of my most favorite weeks of the year!! I love that matt and i watch together most nights, every show is SO good! For some reason i thought last year had more new shows instead of just a new one at 9pm (and sometimes 10pm), but i still re-watched the shows ive seen already. I love sharks!

This weekend we are having dinner with B & A tonight. I am excited to see them, A just found out she is expecting and i know she has been trying for a while. I am excited to share this experience with her. It will be fun tonight! Saturday we have a wedding to go to, and Sunday hopefully Matt and I can be productive. There are a bunch of big items we need to purchase in the coming months that we are saving for. Among the big items include: A new (or used) SUV for Matt, bedroom dresser, nursery furniture. This stuff can add up. It would be nice to purchase some of these items before we actually NEED them, to reduce the outflow of cash all at once. But we'll see how it goes!

Thank gosh it's Friday! More next week!

A post about the HEAT and a a Mid-way point update!

It's Friday and i am not very motivated today at work, i am so ready to get home and start the weekend! Not that i have anything particularly fun planned tonight, actually this is one day for next few weeks that i actually DONT have anything planned. I am looking forward to working out, cleaning up around the house a bit, relaxing.... it's going to be nice and quiet. Matt is going to the Reds game tonight with some friends.

So let me just write for a minute or two about this HEAT we have been experiencing. And it's not just hot out there, it is Holy-Crap-This-Is-Just-A-Few-Degree's-Cooler-Than-Hell HEAT! I cant believe how long the high temperatures have lasted-- almost the entire week. It;s odd to drive to work at 7am and see the the temp is already in the mid-80's. It;s been well into the hundreds the last few days and there is no end in sight for the next few days.  And it;s been SO humid! My sunglasses fog up when i walk outside. AND the LACK of WIND! It seriously feels like walking into a world size sauna every time you open a door.  Odie wants to walk with me a lot of nights-- well, basically every night he runs to his leash and looks at me-- but it's too hot for the fury wearing extra layers. It would take him forever to cool down. Poor little guy. Hopefully next week will be better.

*******

So tomorrow marks the 20 week point in my pregnancy. I can hardly believe it. And if feel compelled to post about it because it's the unofficial/official half way point. The only one who really knows is the little 10.6oz nugget inside my belly. And gosh we cant wait to meet him or her! I want to try to post a little more often during this time because i want to catalogue it and and remember it.  It's just a brief time, and then everything changes and i forget what this baby free time in my life was like as we get ready.  So I guess ill start with the low lights so i can end on the highlights:

LOW LIGHTS

- The weight gain. The not realizing or knowing where the excess weight is going but just hoping it;s mostly baby and it can be lost at the end of this. That leads into another low light-- hearing about people training for running events or their work out routines and weight loss. I dont want to hear about it. I know it's great for you if you are losing weight and doing healthy things-- but this is not the time in my life where i can hear about it be excited. Because my self image is not exactly the highest AND i cant do a think about it.

- back pain i had a few weeks ago. It's strange how now that i am bigger i am feeling better. At the beginning of the month i couldn't WAIT to see my doctor soon enough to ask questions and figure out how to help myself with out the intervention of drugs. But i have continued to stay active and low and behold it has sort of gone away. And by gone away, i mean the pain is not NEARLY at the discomfort level that it was before.  Lets see how this second half goes...

-Having to buy a new wardrobe. O those weeks where i would have to get up in the morning 10 minutes early just to try on half my closet to see what work attire looks appropriate and fits.  And the expenses that have nothing to do with baby. But i am coming around the idea of investing in it since i know i will have more babies (hopefully) so i can just re-wear all this stuff. Including my bra-- that wasn't cheap-- but i couldn't go another 4 months without getting.

- The hormone changes at this stage in my pregnancy. * i will write about the first stage in my highlights *.  I don't like feeling irritable or impatient some of the time. I feel like this isn't me by some of things i say. My husband is a saint for trying his hardest to not be mad at me for every little thing i say and do.

- The restricted diet. Or more specifically, not being able to eat lunch meet and certain cheeses.  Sometimes i just crave a turkey sandwich or a salad with turkey on it. Especially at lunch-- and usually turkey is healthy and good for you. So having to constantly make substitutes makes it pretty hard.

- The extra worrying that takes place when you are doing everything for two. Eating right, being careful, worrying about development, all those things. I am used to just worrying about me.... boy have things changed.

AND NOW THE HIGHLIGHTS:

- Watching how happy my husband it. Seeing how excited he gets about my belly and how much he says he cant wait for the baby. It makes me excited for him to be able to feel the baby too-- i know he will just love it.

- Feeling the baby move for the first time and realizing that there REALLY IS a living person growing in there. And then it makes me excited to meet him or her!

- Thinking about the future, thinking about what this Christmas will be like and all the future Christmas's we have to look forward to.

- I love hearing about how excited my family and in-laws are. Every time we see them they just give us so much attention about how excited they are about the baby.  Matt's whole family just loves kids so i know family parties will be great.  It will be fun to have all my nephews around the same age too.

-I am excited to be able to pick out baby clothes, some stuff is just SO cute.

- This week-- more than any other week so far-- people at work  are starting to ask me if i am pregnant or congratulate me. Maybe it all started because i had to get up in front of a lot of people and give a presentation that people noticed, but i guess i am showing enough that coworkers that weren't there for that are asking. And asking me questions and showing genuine interest.

- I love my friends J and S who are planning a shower for me. It just tickles me pink that they are doing that for me. 

- I love how the first part of my pregnancy i was relatively level headed and didn't have a lot of mood swings. I thought it did great things in that department.  I think my first tri was so easy becausee i didn't have morning sickness and the worse of it was feeling tired.  Now i have my energy back and i have been feeling great. I am not too big and uncomfortable yet-- i wish the rest of pregnancy would feel like this!

- I love brainstorming names-- as overwhelming as i seem to make it in my head-- i just cant wait to finally decide on a GREAT name!

There are so many more highlights than there are low lights, and i know i am forgetting a few. Probably more than a few.  It's hard to believe how quickly it's all going. I feel like December will be here before i know it. Time doesn't slow down it only gets faster it seems.  But i need to slow down and smell the flowers as much as I can.


This is a song i had put on on here two years ago around this time and i loved it. I feel it's appropriate here too.

Hot weather, good weekend

So alas, Monday always comes back around again. My weekend was nice, relaxing, AND productive.
Matt took some time off with me last Friday and we went to my Monthly doctor's visit. The visit was good,  we didnt learn anything major. We got to hear the heartbeat again, this little nugget is ACTIVE.  I scheduled my next appointment AND the level 2 ultra sound AND the fetal echocariogram (sp?).  The ultrasound is the appointment when we get to found out if little Nugget is a boy or a girl!  I was told we could do if after this last appointment, and now i have to wait an entire month now to find out. It just feels like FOREVER! But hopefully it goes fast. This is the thing i am MOST looking forward too:)

The rest of the weekend was nice, Friday night we drove up to Dayton to hear my friend, J's, band play. Buddah and the Boogie Down-- they play rock songs and were quite good, It was also another friend, j's birthday so it was good we made it up there to see them.  Saturday morning Matt and I drove to Loveland to take a photography class from this guy. It was 3 hours and i learned SO much about my new DSLR camera. I cant wait to get out and start playing with it.  I recommend this guy in the cinci area, he is VERy knowledgeable, but also down to earth and personable. I learned a lot.

The rest of the weekend we spent a lot of time hanging out with Matt's parents and swimming in their pool. I got to spend a some time with my sister-in-law, hang out with my nephews, relax a little bit. It's always nice to have free time. We also got some goodwill written off this weekend and got the week's grocery shopping taken care of.  It was the perfect mix of productivity AND relaxation.

In other exciting news, this week was the first week that i felt the baby kick. It's the weirdest feeling, but i love it!! Sometimes when i didn't realize what  i was feeling i would scratch by belly, but then i remember it's our little babe. This little one is busy!! I feel 'him' a lot when i am just sitting in the car because there isn't much to do. But i have been feeling the babe a lot lately, we think he/she is out little Olympian swimming around in their training for the 2028 games. Cant wait to find out if the swimmer is a boy a girl, cant wait to meet him or her!! Almost half way there!!

Happy things this week

Since i never have much time for updates, but I at least want to jot down those few things that have made me REALLY happy this week- or well, the since the last post--

In no particular order:

Seeing S and J last night for pizza and getting a big surprise from S with a HUGE bag of maternity tops. She must be telepathic or something, but they were all SO cute. She got them from her sister or sister-in-law ( I cant remember) and she gave a bunch to me. She is pregnant and she needs clothes too! Ah, just LOVED it. And love how cute and classic everything was.

(Unlike the clothes my co-worker, Sue,  has been giving me. She finally said something to me this week after i haven't really made any kind of announcement). She is much older than i am, never had any kids, but has some "fat clothes" that she is giving me. And they are ALL not really my style at all. I dont see myself in any of it. I dont know how to say thanks, but no thanks. But the gesture really is VERY sweet. And considering i never really told her i was expecting, very sweet.

I loved having a birthday this week and getting a little extra attention.

I loved my prenatal massage i got on Monday (my birthday). It was amazing. I got to enjoy a pain free existence for almost 24 full hours. So great.
I also loved the fantastic steak dinner on Saturday
The amazing BBQ after our yard sale with J and C.
And i LOVED going to Teak and being able to eat a few sushi rolls with cooked fish in them.

And MOST of all! I love my AWESOME birthday present from Matt. A brand new Canon DSLR camera!! It incredible. It was a gift i have always wanted and never asked for. Just something that would be SO cool to have and do, but never spent the money. AND we are taking a class on Saturday to learn how to use it. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!

I have a baby appointment tomorrow (after my dentist to fill a cavity (boo) ). Looking forward to it SO much. I have a bunch of questions. And that means my NEXT appointment this month is the BIG ONE!

Happy Friday

It's been a good short week, and the 4th of July weekend was very enjoyable. Got to see my family, go to the reds/indains game, go to not one- but TWO cookouts and eat delicious foods, see Matt's entire family, hangout with friends, and even get some stuff done around the house.  The weekend always seems to blow by, but it's been a really nice week. Since it's Friday- and even though it's raining-- id  thought i would post a few things that have made me very happy happy  recently.
So here goes-- this week-- in chronological order!

• Last Friday i was cleaning stuff up around the house and i went to get the mail and i noticed a few letters and stuff that fell through our mail slot and was on the floor. One was a card like envelope and noticed it was post marked a week before. I was out of town and felt a little worried that i never acknowledged this since its was a week late. But i opened it and it was a card from my old college roommate T, who i have gotten a little less close so since she moved away. There was a few years where i felt like we didn't have much of a friendship really, but things are slowly coming back together in the last year or so. Anyway, she sent me a sweet congratulatory baby card AND a $20 dollar baby gift card to Target to help with the baby shopping. I was sooooooo touched! Honestly, even getting a card to say congratulations was so sweet to me. But a gift card too, it just seemed so beyond thoughtful. It makes me happy just to think about it.
•  When my parents came to visit last weekend my mom brought me stuff in a little bag. First she got me a cute little peasant dress so i can have another outfit that is comfortable AND fits. Since i wear the same 6 outfits over and over again. She also bought me a elastic,  but pretty,  ring to use in place of my wedding and engagement bands as my hands are ever so slowly swelling. Every week they get a little tighter. And in the heat outside, they are practically sealed on my finger. It's really pretty and REALLY comfortable. AND it will definitely be nice to wear something to show i am married when i cant wear my rings anymore. But the thing that REALLY got me, she brought me a gold chain with a pendant on it that said "Baby" with a down arrow. My dad got it for my mom when she was pregnant the first time and wore it when she was having me.  I LOVE it. Probably one of my most treasured gifts. Just because it has a history and it's from my dad to my mom and to me.  I love it. And the chain is so pretty, i just cant get over how much i love it.
• This week i told my good friend F that i was having some lower back pain and i wanted advice since she does Yoga. Well she asked her yoga instructor and called me that night to give me some good options to stretches and even looked up places near by my house that have prenatal yoga classes. She just so above and beyond, and really made me feel cared about.
• Yesterday when i got home from work there was a little gift outside my front door left by F. She dropped off 3 ADORABLE little onsies with a card saying how excited she is for the baby.  Honestly, it blew me away. She said she left something, "but it wasn't big."  But seriously the gesture is O so big to me.  It really, really meant a lot. And she probably has no idea how much i appreciate those things.  It really made me happy.
• This morning at work today my coworker L brought me some TUMS. And it's very sweet because they know how much i don't like milk and she wants me to have my calcium. It's a small gesture but it shows she cared.  In fact, the gestures her and G make at work everyday make me happy. They are so excited about the baby, they ask me all kinds of questions and really show a genuine interest. Really. I don't think they know how much it means to me, but it means the world.
• And lastly, for my loving husband that has been giving me massages this week for my back. And taking walks with me when there is time. He has been amazing. And i cant forget the little things.

Although things seem busy at work and sometimes i get worried about things, there always seems to be something right there ready to cheer me up.  I cant forget how lucky I am. Here's to another great week!

End of June update

I cant believe it's the last week in June. Time is FLYING.  I haven't been updating my blog much, this is a busy time at work and after work life seems never dull. I don't know where to begin to update since my last post. I guess Ill go a week back. The weekend before last weekend  Matt and i grilled out with our friends B, A, and C and utilized our patio set outside. We made  kabobs and marinated chicken and streak in a delicious homemade marinade A gave me, and grilled zucchini, squash, mushrooms and peppers (i think?) in another homemade marinade and both turned out delicious. Matt also picked up a few lobster tails on a skewers and those were a big hit. We talked and played games and had a nice evening. I guess last Sunday was also Father's day, so the N's had a combined party with my sister's in laws family and my husbands family and we grilled out and hung out with them for the afternoon. Her family is so nice so it's always enjoyable.

Last week i was in DC for the majority of it. I was in the Office on Monday, Friday and part of the day on Thursday.  Thursday I went to a cooking class with A up at Jungle Jim's and had a nice time, but i don't think will make any of the recipes. We made grilled chicken  and i didn't think the marinade was all that notable. We also made salad (nothing too notable here), a mayonnaise based potato salad that was just OK, and cornbread. I liked the cornbread but, again, it was nothing i would rave about. 

This past weekend was also quite relaxing but busy. Friday night I spent with Matt since i barely saw him at all the week before. We tried a new place in Mt. Lookout Sq called Pera, it was like a Mediterranean restaurant similar to Aladdins. But i think i like Aladdin's better.  We got hummus, grape leaves, a Sheppard salad and we split a shish kabob dinner. It was good but it was not a lot of food. We both enjoyed it though. I also made homemade skyline chili  on Saturday morning since i am always up a couple hours before Matt is.   My best friend gave me the recipe so i was able to make it was the leanest beef i could find. It had all the flavors and spices as you would find at the actual Skyline: Cocoa, cumin, cinnamon, all spice, curry, salt, pepper, a bay leaf. I am sure i forgot a few spices. Matt tried it and loves it. And i don't feel so guilty eating it because i know exactly what went in it. I cant wait for dinner tonight! 

So Saturday night we saw B and A again and went to Bonefish for dinner, played put-put,  and went out to ice cream at Brusters. Yum! It was a relaxing night i loved it. Sunday was with the N's again, and went to his second cousins grad party our in the boonies. It was fun, the food was good, and it's always fun seeing his fam. All in all, it was a nice weekend. Even got lots of yard work taken care of (although it never seems to end!).

This week we have filled up with lots of Day Care visits. We need to get one picked sooner than later because i have been learning that those near our house are filled up with wait lists.  So i have to start now for an early spring slot. It should be interesting, i hope we find one we like. It will make for a busy week.

I am excited for July because it's the month (i hope) we can find out the sex of the baby! gosh, it will be fun to start planning.  Then we can actually start registering for stuff. And think about baby's room!  Matt is SO excited, he tells me every day- multiple times a day- how much he cant wait to meet the baby. And how much he cant wait for the baby to get her so he can actually start helping me. Since he says he doesn't do much now. Believe it or not he does way more than he thinks.  I complain a little bit more than i should; about being tired, not being able to sleep in a comfortable position, my clothes not fitting,... o probably more than i should. He is so supportive.   And i know generally speaking this pregnancy so far is a breeze compared to others. I shouldn't complain so much. I do know how much i am... i am so lucky to be married to such a perfect husband.

Cant wait to see what this month will bring. 4 more weeks closer to my due date-- AND the half way point! crazy how quickly time flies!!

Thank gosh it's friday

What a week! I am so tired today, SOO tired. I stayed up pretty late and didnt get home until 11:15pm since i was at one of my good friend J's dad's Celebration of Life.  Her dad who has been struggling with ALS passed away on Friday night/Saturday morning in his sleep. This week was the funeral visitation, and instead of burial ceremony they had a Celebration of Life. Her dad wasn't one for organized religion, although very well educated on the ideas and grew up around it. So they family did it exactly the way he would have wanted it. And i must say it was incredible.  People always say they want a party for their funeral and have people enjoy themselves, well this guy pulled it off!   They had the celebration a the Wilder Community center with catered food and an open bar, and an overall hugely upbeat atmosphere!  Ive never been to anything like it. They had a number of speeches given by close friends and relatives and they were all amazing. I have never seen so many well-spoken people who were able to honor someones life so well. The stories and the laughter in the room was so cool. Of course there were lots of tears, as it's always sad to hear about how much he loved his family and how much he will be missed. But it really was something to remember.

I am glad it's finally Friday, i am ready for some rest this weekend if nothing else.  We have some yard work to get done and we are meeting my parents in Columbus for dinner on Saturday night. Not sure what else we will do, it's supposed to be cooler and nice this weekend so hopefully i can get out to walk and enjoy it. I haven't had much time to exercise this week, or well, really the last couple weeks. And will be out of town for work again in about a week. Hopefully this is the last trip for a while.

No baby updates to tell this week, other than more people are learning about the news. We told some college friends last week at my good friend, F', cookout last weekend. They were nice, but not really that excited for me.  Well, at least that's how it felt. But i am not going to over analyze that situation, it just isnt worth the time anymore.  I am telling a few more co-workers these days, they have been great about it.  I am not really sure how much longer i can hide it, i feel my clothes getting so tight which makes me think the secret has to come out soon.

That's all for now. Until next time!

My weekend, my week, my night and my dinner.

Yesterday i was feeling pretty grumbly and bloated all day, i haven't been eating all that well the last few days, and my clothes are definitely feeling tighter and tighter. It was an OK day but it really ended up being one of the better week days. I went into the office at 7am with Matt because he had to be in early, and we got to leave work at 4 and that felt SO early. We had tons of time to do stuff after work. We dropped the car off for service, we went to the grocery, and i made an absolutely yummy and healthy meal. I make cooked turkey sandwiches with pesto, arugula, and avocado, and a summer salad with cucumbers, tomatoes and onions with Italian dressing. It was so yummy and healthy. I am making another healthier dinner tonight, and hoping i can keep up the healthy eating habits. It felt good, and matt and I even walked before bed last night... something i need to start doing more of.

This weekend i definitely fell off the healthy wagon, but it was a GREAT weekend to make up for it.  Memorial Day weekend always seems good, it's seems to have been good every year.... at least that is what my memory is telling me right now. Saturday we had a wedding in Dayton for two of our favorite friends-- who were marrying each other-- so it was a VERY happy day. Plus, we got to see tons of great friends all in one place. We started telling people about new baby N and when people saw us this weekend they were UNBELIEVABLY happy! In fact, they were amazing, and i am so blessed to have great friends! The rest of the weekend wasn't too shabby either; on Sunday we had brunch at the hotel and talked to our friends a little while, then headed back and hung out with matt's parents for a little while, grabbed some lunch and were very productive in the yard. We went to the grocery, and make a dish for the part on Sunday, and enjoyed a late dinner together at ichiban. Monday we got up and basically headed straight over to matt's parents for the party and spend the entire day there. It was hot and sunny and spent lots of time by the pool, it was fun catching up with his family who are always great.  Got home around 8ish and  grabbed some Wendy's (which non-pregnant me would have NEVER done) and enjoyed a relaxing evening before bed. It was a great weekend, and so far this week hasn't been bad either.

Thursday i am taking a class at Good Sam hospital about being healthy during pregnancy, i am nervous and excited. Nervous because hospitals are big and i always seem to get lost, but excited because i am hoping to learn a few good things.   Then this weekend i am in town and have another cookout on Saturday with my cinci friends. I am happy to be in town most of this month (with the exception of next saturday), and it feels good to finally be able to plan things without always being on the go.

Yesterday i made my first maternity purchase online, which kind of scares me, i don't like buying online generally. But this constant 90 plus degree heat pushed me over the edge and I bought a swimsuit. I cant wait for it to come, i cant wait to go swimming.  I am happy for summer to be here, the LAST summer pre-baby... i am definitely looking forward to enjoying it!

Here is a pic of my purchase.

Until next time!....

A rather revealing update

So it's been a long time secret, or well, at least it feels like it's been an incredibly long time. Over eight weeks, and last week the doctor said the world can finally know.... I am pregnant! Yep, almost 12 weeks this weekend which means almost out of hte first trimester. Last week on Friday i had my first ultrasound and the doctor said i am out of the woods as far as risks of miscarrying or bad complications, so we are slowly telling the world. A lot of my extended family doesn't know yet, and gobs of my friends don't know although a few of the closest new when i found out. I told my boss on Monday before i went on a business trip this week and she was insanely supportive. I have an incredible boss.  My family and Matt's family both know and they are really excited, in fact incredibly supportive and that makes the process a rather enjoyable one. Although sometimes scary and disbelieving, but it's definitely been a trip. And to think i still have two more trimesters to go.

It feels a little weird writing about it, it feels weird telling people in general since it's been such a huge secret. In fact, when i tell people i barely understand the words coming out of my mouth since Ive been trying to hide when it's a HUGE part of what i think about every day. I told a couple co-workers on Monday and they were UNBELIEVABLY amazing. In fact, they made me feel so good and accepted and supported, i don't think they will ever know how they made me feel.  None of my college friends know, not sure when they will find out. It's kind of sad that they were such a big part of my life and now in this life changing part they have no idea. It's weird to think about. But that's the crazy thing about this world and the short time we have on it, you can never predict what's in store for us.

But this year will be full of changes that is for sure. My due date by the calendar is December 10th, but in my last ultrasound the doctor said the baby looked a little small so  i have another scan today to get a better idea of the baby's age and due date. I cant wait! I am worried it will be too close to Christmas, but whatever date they give me the little nugget when come whenever it's ready to come no matter what. 

It's crazy to think about how much my life will change in just a few short month. It's going to be weird to look back on these days and try to think about how life was without this little person, but we cant wait.  Slowly people will start finding out, its fun to hear the reactions.  I haven't made any kind of public announcement about it, maybe next week or so, but things are changing.....

Things are definitely changing.....

Quick, SHORT, post

Well the one thing slacking in my life, besides my workout routine and my diet, is THIS BLOG. Man i have been bad about writing. And it's definitely not because I have nothing to say, THERE IS A LOT to say.  Just cant say it all write now, and i dont have any time. Without going into details, a few highlights of hte last few weeks include a great relaxing vacation, emily's wedding, seeing by best friend, some quality time with Matt, seeing something borrowed with the girls, and sleeping a LOT.  Here;'s a couple pictures to pass the time...

Wednesday morning RANT

MOST days, i say in the most strenious tone, mooost days i like cincinnati. BUT lately i am HATING this city.  For one major reason: this city's PUBLIC WORKS SERVICES!!! UGH!!!!  Where do i even start? It's like the last month has been riddled with disappointments everywhere. No less the entire time i have lived in the suburban areas, the roads are RIDICULOUS!!! I dont know the stats exactly, but i know Oakley and Hyde Park do have some of the highest city taxes in all of cincinnati. I mean, how could they not? And t hey cant afford to put a little money into the pot hole filled roads! They are EV-ER-Y-WHERE!!!! I actually cant think of a a road that doesn't have at least ONE major hole in it.... COME ON CINCINNATI!!!

Next, now that it is spring you know what that means? Yard work. And with yard work, you get  YARD WASTE. A couple weeks ago almost every neighbor on my street had multiple bags of stuff for yard waste disposal. We have a ton of leaves and grass clippings and bags of weeds too.  Trash service came and went and guess what was left, ALL THE YARD WASTE. Turns out, they GOT RID OF THIS SERVICE. And you know the best part, THEY RAISED OUR CITY TAXES this year!!!! Can you believe this city??? How many more inconveniences can they possibly provide for us? O wait, hold on, they do have an alternative for us... we can drive to Newton and dispose of the waste ourselves. Right? SO convenient, like we want to put nasty heavy bags of dirt inside our cars. O limbs of trees and sticks, right inside our beautiful backseats because most waste is too big to fit in trash cans anyway. COME ON CINCINNATI!!!!

But the inconveniences get worse. Yesterday on the way into work the major on ramp by my house was close to the interstate southbound to downtown. O not to worry, no one in the area wants to use the interstate in the morning, and definitely not to go downtown.  O ya, NO DETOUR SIGNS POSTED, o ya, NO WARNINGS EITHER!!! So guess what, turns out it wasn't just a one day inconvenience, it was closed again today. And still no detour signs.  In fact, artimus says it might be closed indefinitely. INDEFINITELY!??? Seriously??? How can you close a major route to tons of people east of downtown INDEFINITELY??? O wait, our roads are sooo bad we cant even fix them to help make people's lives a little more convenient..... it's a never ending cycle i guess. And i suppose the public workers are only going to get lazier since we apparently expect NOTHING out of them. THey have construction all over town, but when you think about it, you hardly see anyone working, EVER. But dont get me started on that one.

COME ON CINCINNATI!!!

Last weekend

So my last somewhat relaxing weekend at HOME has come and gone... and I must say it was quite good. Although i am sad to see it go.  A quick recap before i get back to work:
Friday i went to the gym,  ran some errands, went to Teak for dinner with Matt (YUM), went home and walked with Matt and Odie, ran to BB&B (but it was closed since it was after 9pm), went to Yagoot (another YUM), then went to target and home to relax. GREAT day.
Saturday: Woke up with matt, went to McD's to split an egg mcMuffin (um, YUM) and a hashbrown, then headed up to his parents house so he could help out with tractor stuff. I played with my nephews all afternoon and visited with my sister in law, even though it was a miserable rainy afternoon. It cleared up and we went out to Greek Isles for dinner and then over to matt's friend B's house for his 30th birthday party. It was a great time, and matt had a ton of fun with B.
Sunday:  Woke up and went to the gym, matt helped CV move into his new apartment right around the CORNER from our house. A 1.5 minute walk! Then i did some laundry and went over there to see it and have lunch with them. Then Matt and i took odie on a long walk, did some yard work and cut the grass for the first time, and then out to El Toro a yummy mexican restaurant for dinner.  It was sunny and 85 degrees yesterday... it was a GREAT day.
So great weekend all in all.....
But here is whats coming up the next few weeks, thus not having another free weekend until, well, JUNE.
This weekend: E Bachelorette party , so i need to be in cleveland friday, and then driving to Port Clinton on Saturday and Sunday, and drive home to cinci on Sunday.
Weekend after: Easter weekend: Drive to cleveland
Weekend after: CRUISE!!!!
Weekend after: return from CRUISE!!!
Weekend after: E's wedding in cleveland
Weekend after: Combined Bacherlor/Bachelorette party for friends J and D in Dayton
weekend after: J and D's wedding in Dayton
weekend after: JUNE.... and right now, FREE!!!!!

All good stuff, dont get me wrong... just A LOT going on.
And mid month i have a work trip to New Orleans in May which means i will be home even less. It makes my head hurt.

But that's all i got for now.

Another non notable post....

I am rather unmotivated at work today, although I am swamped with stuff on my to-do list. We are amidst Spring Budget Formulation so I am usually the lead on this with practically my entire team on some combination or work related travel, annual leave or temporary duty. But id rather be busy than bored.
None the less, my blog is neglected and I feel compelled to pay it some attention.

Now what do i have to say?

I know i have been struggling over the past year over what to share on here and what not to, based on the nature of whats going in my life and the privacy of those involved. In any case whatever is posted on here,  I am realizing is that i have been learning all kinds of lessons. No one chooses to be involved in stressful, tough situations; people chose money, beauty, power, etc.... people don't choose character development.  That is last on the list.  I know i cant hold up my vision of the world 2+ years ago right next to my vision of the world today and compare the two. But i do know the two views are very different.  The landscape is bigger, the colors are a little more vibrant, i have picked up on details that i never noticed, and some things in the perspective have picked up new meaning to me.

I also know that the time seems to go so much faster; it's funny that you always hear from grandparents your entire childhood that time goes quicker as you get older... but i never though i would feel it in my twenties. I mean  the days and weeks go so quick, where does the time go? I do need to remind myself to slow down a lot, and it's a tough thing to remember....

A lot of the little things  that used to wind me up no longer bother me. Things in my head involving my friends used to eat away at my heart,  problems outside my control used to make me so nervous, I started letting go of things i have held on to and stressed about for way longer than need be.  My faith has played a big role, as well as the incredible people that are in my life.

Now, i don't think anything that has been happening my life has been notably catastrophic.... it's just the stuff of life; there are ups and there are downs. I mean all i need to do it think about the Haiti disaster over a year ago and now the tsunami in Japan a couple weeks ago-- devastation that just seems inconceivable. Suffering that you cannot physically wrap your mind around unless you are actually living it.   How precious life is and disasters like this DO happen..... my heart just fills up emotion.

But to bring things back to the daily level, i am learning to appreciate these every day lessons. And i am cherishing the really, really good days. Like spending J's birthday with her and A last night. Going to the dari bar, laughing, sharing, being there fore each other.  Or even listening to a friend cry on the phone and feeling in my heart she will be OK and this is what true friendship is. Or hearing such extreme happiness in my Mom's voice yesterday over the phone, and having her tell me how much she cant wait to give me a hug. Its the moments you don't really remember later but the feelings you don't shake.

Until next time....

Quick update.

I haven't posted in a while.... mainly for lack of content i am willing to share. However, the good news is things are finally starting to look up. And the best part, we have a brief peak into spring this week. Windows open, sun shining, birds chirping in the morning. O ya, and longer days! The sun isn't setting until well after 7, almost 8 now..... These things make me happy.

IN other news, my joy right now being spinning classes, i finally broke down and brought a heart rate monitor. AND it is AWESOME! I can finally track to see what zone i am working in during the ride, check to see it it hit my 90th percent heart rate zone, and see how many calories i am burning. Yesterday;s class was the first class and i loved it. Although i was surprised that didn't burn as many calories as i would have thought, only 452. Which doesn't really seem like a whole lot.... but i guess we'll see if it changes depending on the kind of ride we have.

March is almost over, i cant believe it's the 22nd. Last week we celebrated Odie McPoderson's 6th birthday on the 15th. Happy birthday, little man!  Next weekend i might be able to see my family again! In a more relaxed setting (a very happy thing),  and before i know it April is right around the corner.

Our lilies have started to come up around our house. I AM ready for the cold to be behind me!

Until next time....

No Title

Its fascinating that the more we understand about the mind, the more we learn that we don't understand it.  I say this because as i go through this hopefully brief section of my life, I am gaining an ever growing appreciation for a healthy life style and a healthy mind.  The past week or so dealing with one of life's many curve balls, has really brought a lot of issues in my own life to light.   I thought what i went through last year in June with one of my best friends was one of the hardest things to deal with and understand, but i guess that experience was just preparing me for this past week.  And although i cannot go into detail for my family's privacy, i think i have a lot of lessons to learn that i don't need to be so cryptic about.

1). Relationships are important and no matter what you are going through in life, the relationships that have real value are the ones that can withstand anything.  

2) It's important to be honest with yourself and others. When you think you need to be secretive about something you should re-evaluate what you are really doing.

3). The stress you have in your life is normal, but understanding the problem that stressed you out AS WELL AS the stress you have really are two problems that need to be delt with. The ladder being the most important.

4) Family comes first, there will be no other people as important as family.

A very small handful of people in my life know about the 'curve ball' that my family is dealing with right now. But it's a little gift to feel the happiness remembering that the people that do know are indispensable in my life. And in my family's life.

And that it's important to take care of yourself above all else.



** this post my have not made much sense, i am very tired and exhausted writing it.... but felt it was worth posting.