This weekend Matt and I were home in C-town for a baby shower thrown by my mom.... It was a really nice turnout, lots of family came, some close family friends, my best friend, my sister flew in, even the one HS friend I still managed to stay in touch with. It was really nice, and the food from Bravo was absolutely delicious! I am still so touched by the generosity of some of those closest to me, especially those not related to me but very close to my immediate family. I still cant believe it, and the same held true when we got married. I guess we are really loved:)
It was also really nice that my cousin C, drove up from Dayton to attend when i literally had ZERO expectations for people out of town to make the trip. It was nice to catch up with the family on the G side, considering i rarely seem them as much now that Grandma is gone. They are all so excited for me, and so supportive, and full of compliments. It really made me feel good, especially when my self esteem hasn't been the highest. My favorite moment was this one, and I just looked at my cousin;s blog-- and she recorded it (which seems unbelievably sweet, too). It's me opening the present my Aunt A got me, a baby blanket. But not just any baby blanket, a blanket made by my Grandma. The card said she made some baby blankets specifically for her grand kids to have when we have babies and this was one of them. When i look at the video i start tearing up. And it was one of those moments when i looked around i saw everyone was tearing up. Even some that arent on that side of the family. What a profound impact that women had on us, and it makes me sad thinking that she has this planned before she passed. She is dearly missed, and her presence can still be felt by everyone in moments like this one...:
Showing posts with label grandma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grandma. Show all posts
Monday, October 17, 2011
Friday, July 23, 2010
An autobiography
I don't know if I have mentioned it in another post recently, sorry if i repeat. My grandma wrote an autobiography. She told her kids and about it this year a few months back and I remember thinking what a cool thing. When she passed it was distributed-- the three copies she manually typed-- for each of her kids. When i went home for the funeral last months i saw it on my parents table but i just couldn't read it. It was hard enough pulling it together, but reading that would make me fall to pieces knowing i cant ask her questions and hear her stories anymore.
I read it yesterday.
Last week an "Addendum" surfaced and it was slightly more current. I read them both. I read them at work for some reason, i don't know why. Maybe i thought i could separate myself from it a little if i read it at work. And it was close to the end of the day so instead of starting something i wouldn't finish, i read my grandma's autobiography. It was incredible. What a neat life she had; she separates the document in pieces: Her parents, her family, her jobs, her husband, and then the last page is a handwritten page that says "my favorite times." All pieces are so fascinating and i can pull out some of what she wrote from the stories she would tell us. And then when i left work i got sad. Because memories of sitting in grandmas house, and laughing at some of the stuff she says and the way she talked when she told those stories. I am SO sad, i am wiping tears and i think about it. But i know when the pain lessons I am going to re-read it and think about how wonderful she was. And be able to show MY kids a little piece of the wonderful women that shaped my life for 26 years.
Now, i think about this like grandma would have documented in her life. It would be very sad, but she would chronology it because some of the things my grandma lived to see and do would blow your mind. She discusses the loss of her brothers, sisters,friends, neighbors, and even her own son. She says that pain is the most hurtful. But this is just one time in my life-- similar to my grandma's-- there are ebbs and flows and sometimes times are just a little happier than others.
I miss her deeply.
Its going to be hard this weekend going into her house to take some stuff away. But i am hoping i can repress these feelings for the car ride home on Sunday. But maybe it wont be sad, maybe ill be on project mode and not think about it. I have no idea. I want to kick myself for reading that right before this weekend. I shoulda waited?
I am tired today at work because i stayed up very late last night playing Monopoly with Matt, his friend C and E. It was a lot of fun actually. E and I drank 2 bottles of wine. It was a random but well embraced evening after the slightly emotional evening i had already embarked upon after leaving work. When I got home I also for my first letter from K, my friend I was in Chicago for at the end of June. I haven't discussed much about that situation yet, but receiving my first correspondence was a mixed bag of emotions. Emotions are tiring.
Matt and I went to the library last night and got 4 books on tape for the looong car ride with the trailer tonight. I am reeeally reeeally hoping it helps.
Thats all i got for now. Until next time.
I read it yesterday.
Last week an "Addendum" surfaced and it was slightly more current. I read them both. I read them at work for some reason, i don't know why. Maybe i thought i could separate myself from it a little if i read it at work. And it was close to the end of the day so instead of starting something i wouldn't finish, i read my grandma's autobiography. It was incredible. What a neat life she had; she separates the document in pieces: Her parents, her family, her jobs, her husband, and then the last page is a handwritten page that says "my favorite times." All pieces are so fascinating and i can pull out some of what she wrote from the stories she would tell us. And then when i left work i got sad. Because memories of sitting in grandmas house, and laughing at some of the stuff she says and the way she talked when she told those stories. I am SO sad, i am wiping tears and i think about it. But i know when the pain lessons I am going to re-read it and think about how wonderful she was. And be able to show MY kids a little piece of the wonderful women that shaped my life for 26 years.
Now, i think about this like grandma would have documented in her life. It would be very sad, but she would chronology it because some of the things my grandma lived to see and do would blow your mind. She discusses the loss of her brothers, sisters,friends, neighbors, and even her own son. She says that pain is the most hurtful. But this is just one time in my life-- similar to my grandma's-- there are ebbs and flows and sometimes times are just a little happier than others.
I miss her deeply.
Its going to be hard this weekend going into her house to take some stuff away. But i am hoping i can repress these feelings for the car ride home on Sunday. But maybe it wont be sad, maybe ill be on project mode and not think about it. I have no idea. I want to kick myself for reading that right before this weekend. I shoulda waited?
I am tired today at work because i stayed up very late last night playing Monopoly with Matt, his friend C and E. It was a lot of fun actually. E and I drank 2 bottles of wine. It was a random but well embraced evening after the slightly emotional evening i had already embarked upon after leaving work. When I got home I also for my first letter from K, my friend I was in Chicago for at the end of June. I haven't discussed much about that situation yet, but receiving my first correspondence was a mixed bag of emotions. Emotions are tiring.
Matt and I went to the library last night and got 4 books on tape for the looong car ride with the trailer tonight. I am reeeally reeeally hoping it helps.
Thats all i got for now. Until next time.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Better days will come
These past 5 days have been the hardest 5 days i have had in a long time.
Possibly ever.
I was in Chicago saturday and Sunday for an intervention with one of my close friends. I am not ready to discuss details here yet, but it was very, very, very difficult. It was emotionally draining and overwhelming. And on top of a lot of unknowns and travelling i dont know how i did it without falling apart.
During this 36 hour period of emotional stress I got the news that my grandma passed away sunday morning. It was heart breaking. I had to push this pain and sadness so far down to be there for my friend that it made being in Chicago almost unbearable for me. I returned home very, very late Sunday night after driving 6+ hours in torrential down pours, to get in a car again to drive 4 hours to Cleveland for a funeral.
My family has never been so sad. I think this is the first person in my adult life that has died who has such a tremendous influence on all of our lives. She was so close to every single one of us, and has been central in all family functions. And the amazing part, she had her wit and personality all the way until the end. Perhaps this made it harder, but i know when this day came it would be so sad no matter what. It is very difficult on her children-- my dad-- who Ive never seen so sad. I am sad for him. I am sad for me. I am sad for my whole family. My heart hurts a lot right now.
It was a beautiful day yesterday, no clouds, 70 degrees, no humidity. She would have loved it. And a cool wind blew as we said a prayer for her over the grave site. It was a still day except for the breeze and Id like to believe it was her giving us a little sign and a nod that everything is going to be OK.
Grandma wrote an autobiography. I couldn't read it because of the pain, but its incredible. She documents her life, her parents life, and typed it out on a manual type-writer. And then re-typed it 3 times for each of her kids. How amazing is that. She was an amazing woman. She will be missed and the loss in our family is profound. But this day was inevitable, she had to die to be with her sister who she was never without. And now we have an angel in heaven watching over us all.
Please pray for my family to give us peace. Grandma finally is finally home where she belongs.
Better days will come.
Possibly ever.
I was in Chicago saturday and Sunday for an intervention with one of my close friends. I am not ready to discuss details here yet, but it was very, very, very difficult. It was emotionally draining and overwhelming. And on top of a lot of unknowns and travelling i dont know how i did it without falling apart.
During this 36 hour period of emotional stress I got the news that my grandma passed away sunday morning. It was heart breaking. I had to push this pain and sadness so far down to be there for my friend that it made being in Chicago almost unbearable for me. I returned home very, very late Sunday night after driving 6+ hours in torrential down pours, to get in a car again to drive 4 hours to Cleveland for a funeral.
My family has never been so sad. I think this is the first person in my adult life that has died who has such a tremendous influence on all of our lives. She was so close to every single one of us, and has been central in all family functions. And the amazing part, she had her wit and personality all the way until the end. Perhaps this made it harder, but i know when this day came it would be so sad no matter what. It is very difficult on her children-- my dad-- who Ive never seen so sad. I am sad for him. I am sad for me. I am sad for my whole family. My heart hurts a lot right now.
It was a beautiful day yesterday, no clouds, 70 degrees, no humidity. She would have loved it. And a cool wind blew as we said a prayer for her over the grave site. It was a still day except for the breeze and Id like to believe it was her giving us a little sign and a nod that everything is going to be OK.
Grandma wrote an autobiography. I couldn't read it because of the pain, but its incredible. She documents her life, her parents life, and typed it out on a manual type-writer. And then re-typed it 3 times for each of her kids. How amazing is that. She was an amazing woman. She will be missed and the loss in our family is profound. But this day was inevitable, she had to die to be with her sister who she was never without. And now we have an angel in heaven watching over us all.
Please pray for my family to give us peace. Grandma finally is finally home where she belongs.
Better days will come.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Easter Recap
So i am back to work today after taking monday off to travel back to cinci from my weekend home. It was nice to get home early on friday-- thanks to Matt's work schedule-- and have a nice dinner with the family at a reasonable time. We had this amazing sushi at a new asian restaurant that literally is like teleporting to Japan. Everything seemed authentic, and the food was FANTASTIC. It was a nice way to start the weekend off on the upswing. The weather was great almost the entire weekend, and Saturday i made cheesy hash browns for brunch at my Aunt's on Easter and Deviled eggs for dinner at my grandma's later in the afternoon. It was the first Easter since matt's been around when we haven't been driving through snow piled streets. It was beautiful.
Until we got the phone call from my dad's sister that my Great Aunt had passed away. The whole rest of the weekend turned somber as the news is still hard to digest. Now, i never was very close to her because she is a little bit removed from my life. However, my dad saw her as a second mom growing up, she lived right next door to my grandma for my dad's entire life and they were inseparable. My Grandma and my aunt called each other every day, they used to sit on the stoop together and chit chat (when they were both a little more able bodied), they were always looking out for one another. They helped each other through everything in life, even the hardest things like losing their husbands. They held the closest bond of sibling hood and really brought it to a new level or closeness and really, they have never been apart. Until now.
I am really sad about it. I am sad for my grandma, even though i don't think her head accepts it yet. She says she still cant believe it. And how could you? You've lived every single day talking to this person for 90 years and one day she isnt there. 90 years with someone right next door! I am sad for my dad, as he clearly is having a hard time realizing it because she was a huge part in his mom's life and his life growing up. All the memories flash through your head and the sadness grows. And the ironic part, my sister stopped over on Friday to check in to report back to grandma since Auntie was in teh hospital earlier last week, she looks 'great' according to D. And the questions mount as to what the right decision should have been that could have kept her alive. But this day was bound to come as she was 93 years old with her internal organs were all failing her to some degree.
I think of Auntie fondly through grandma;s stories.... and pretty much every time i visit grandma she had some kind of update from her. I remember growing up and visiting and walking over to Auntie's in the evenings because that;s where they always sat and talked outside on the stoop. I also remember playing in grandma;s backyard and hearing her yell at her husband-- she was always a feisty women with one heck of an opinion. And she was never afraid to voice it, no matter how it came out. But it's funny because that's just how she was, and she told you what she thinks because she cares. But the stories will probably dwindle now, and i have no idea what the next couple days, weeks, months will be like for Grandma. I hope and pray that she is OK... even though i can only imagine how profound the sadness may be. And i will probably never understand or even know.
For now i can only pray for the people i love that are still here. The wake is tonight and the funeral is Wednesday. Grandma wont be able to go because she isn't mobile, but i hope it's beautiful and hopeful. As grandma said to me yesterday, better days will come.
Until we got the phone call from my dad's sister that my Great Aunt had passed away. The whole rest of the weekend turned somber as the news is still hard to digest. Now, i never was very close to her because she is a little bit removed from my life. However, my dad saw her as a second mom growing up, she lived right next door to my grandma for my dad's entire life and they were inseparable. My Grandma and my aunt called each other every day, they used to sit on the stoop together and chit chat (when they were both a little more able bodied), they were always looking out for one another. They helped each other through everything in life, even the hardest things like losing their husbands. They held the closest bond of sibling hood and really brought it to a new level or closeness and really, they have never been apart. Until now.
I am really sad about it. I am sad for my grandma, even though i don't think her head accepts it yet. She says she still cant believe it. And how could you? You've lived every single day talking to this person for 90 years and one day she isnt there. 90 years with someone right next door! I am sad for my dad, as he clearly is having a hard time realizing it because she was a huge part in his mom's life and his life growing up. All the memories flash through your head and the sadness grows. And the ironic part, my sister stopped over on Friday to check in to report back to grandma since Auntie was in teh hospital earlier last week, she looks 'great' according to D. And the questions mount as to what the right decision should have been that could have kept her alive. But this day was bound to come as she was 93 years old with her internal organs were all failing her to some degree.
I think of Auntie fondly through grandma;s stories.... and pretty much every time i visit grandma she had some kind of update from her. I remember growing up and visiting and walking over to Auntie's in the evenings because that;s where they always sat and talked outside on the stoop. I also remember playing in grandma;s backyard and hearing her yell at her husband-- she was always a feisty women with one heck of an opinion. And she was never afraid to voice it, no matter how it came out. But it's funny because that's just how she was, and she told you what she thinks because she cares. But the stories will probably dwindle now, and i have no idea what the next couple days, weeks, months will be like for Grandma. I hope and pray that she is OK... even though i can only imagine how profound the sadness may be. And i will probably never understand or even know.
For now i can only pray for the people i love that are still here. The wake is tonight and the funeral is Wednesday. Grandma wont be able to go because she isn't mobile, but i hope it's beautiful and hopeful. As grandma said to me yesterday, better days will come.
Monday, March 1, 2010
March is here
well, HELLO March. It's nice to see you.. although i tend to not look foward to March. It's long, it's grey, it's cold. No holidays. Really nothing to look forward to this month at all. Things to not look forward to include work trips, but we'll save the negativity for another post.
I do have quite a few things on my mind this Monday. Things like my Grandma, my friends, the Olympics, my husband, my family. Not all of them are things i want to talk about right here and now, but they are floating around up there. A lot.
Lets start with something good-- the Olympics and how much i LOVE the games. I admit i didnt watch nearly as much as i would have liked, but the one things about this time if the spirit it evokes all around. It's a lot of great energy and it really brings us all together. My favorite part-- the Hockey game last night USA vs. Canada. And hockey is not one sport i like to watch, but this game brought EVERYONE together. It was one heck of a game too. I went to the gym in the middle of it and as i looked down the row of elipticals all the tv monitors were tuned into this game. Every one of us was intently watching and we all simultaneously cheered when we scored our first goal. It was something really neat to watch, and to know that SO MANY OTHERS are watching this game right now too. What a truly memorable Olympics, and a great metal showing for our country. I am certainly proud to be part of this country.
In other unrelated news my Grandma was released from rehab this weekend. It is great news because we all know how hard she has worked for the doctors to send her home. Considering she has battled psuenomia (sp?), more fluid in her lungs, complications with her water, diabetes, and open soars on her legs, not to mention the swelling in her legs and feet which makes it even more painful for her to get around. But would you believe it that she was taking steps and riding on a stationary bike!?! What a strong willed woman. I am so proud of her. Now that is not to say she is better and healthy at home because she is not, she is still very weak and old, and needs a lot of help right now. It breaks my heart thinking about her in all honesty. She told me last week that she has been praying for all of us her whole life and now it's her turn. And is she ever so right, and it's our turn to make she she knows how much we love her and want her to be OK. I thought it would be nice for her grankids to make sure she knows she feels loved. I decided to take it upon myself to make sure gram knows and send her a letter from all of her grandkids. I emailed all them and told them to get back to me with a little note or letter by today. And would you believe it that only half the family responded to me? I dont get it, it's like her kids split down the middle and only 2 families responded. Why would you not respond? This has nothing to be with me, or family, or any one cousin, it has everything to do with making sure grandma feels loved and appreciated.. and us taking note that every.single.day we have with her now is a gift. WHY would you not want to do something nice? It's very disheartening....
However, in all my weekend was very relaxing. Matt and I called it a "stay cation" for real. We went out on a couple dates both nights and got to use some old gift cards we had around. Friday night we went to Bonefish Grill and had a fantastic meal for since we don't eat meat on Friday's during lent. Then we asked a few friends to go to the Pub with us and that was a time and matt got to spend a good night with some of his poker friends he doesnt really party with on weekends. I know he appreciated it. And i got to spend time with my new friend E- who is also coming over tonight to watch the Bachelor with me. She certainly is becoming a solid friend of mine and I cant even describe how happy that makes me. Especially when i too often feel forgot froma select few of other friends. But i wont go there today. Saturday night matt and I also had a good day together, we went out for bubble tea in clifton, drove around, went to bed bath and beyond to pick up some coffee and then relaxed and had another great dinner at Bravo (thank you saint Nick!).
For lent this year instead of giving up something i decided i would try to go to Church every week since ive been so bad about it. So far so good, matt and I went to St. Mary's in Hyde park yesterday morning and then went out to brunch together. It was good we did that together, it definitely helped us get back in step with each other.
So lots going on ahead, busy weekend ahead as well. Here a couple pics with E and Matt and his poker friends at the bar. Check on the shoes---- wowza.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Down
I hope it's a hormonal thing, but gosh do i feel down right now. I cant pin-point what exactly it is right now. I don't know if it just ONE thing, but i just cant seem to be happy and excited. I had a long weekend and I just didnt feel like going anywhere. I could have stayed in my house all day long. I did leave, but i didn't feel like partying and seeing a lot of people. I, for some reason, felt that my laughter would feel fake. Matt and I were shopping for shelves and cabinets yesterday and a few times he looked over at me and said i looked dead. Everything felt tired and exhausted. I didn't feel like myself, i dont like it.
I am a little better today, although I have plans to snowboard (try to snowboard) with J and A tomorrow and I feel exhausted thinking about it. Also not like me. How do i snap out of whatever this is?
There are a few things in particular that seem gloomy. Like my Grandma and how sick and debilitated she has become. This weekend she started needing 24-hour care. My mom will be sleeping at her house until thursday and I cant imagine how hard this must be for everyone involved. And my mind just wanders about what it must be like, and i feel the deep down sadness because my grandma means everything to our family. Then i think about two of my friends who have terribly, terribly sick dad's. And i think about making plans in the future and the feeling fades because what if i have to go to a funeral. It's hard to not be able to think so far ahead. And this weekend I found it particularly hard to be there for those friends in need of support. This selfishness eats away at me too.
What is going on in Haiti is almost incomprehensible and just awful to think about. I think it's a combination of all these happenings and a total feeling of helplessness that I almost am withdrawn. I know i need to some how tune back in. I need to somehow re-energize. I am in need of something... and I hope it comes soon.
Hopefully the next post will be a little more up.
I am a little better today, although I have plans to snowboard (try to snowboard) with J and A tomorrow and I feel exhausted thinking about it. Also not like me. How do i snap out of whatever this is?
There are a few things in particular that seem gloomy. Like my Grandma and how sick and debilitated she has become. This weekend she started needing 24-hour care. My mom will be sleeping at her house until thursday and I cant imagine how hard this must be for everyone involved. And my mind just wanders about what it must be like, and i feel the deep down sadness because my grandma means everything to our family. Then i think about two of my friends who have terribly, terribly sick dad's. And i think about making plans in the future and the feeling fades because what if i have to go to a funeral. It's hard to not be able to think so far ahead. And this weekend I found it particularly hard to be there for those friends in need of support. This selfishness eats away at me too.
What is going on in Haiti is almost incomprehensible and just awful to think about. I think it's a combination of all these happenings and a total feeling of helplessness that I almost am withdrawn. I know i need to some how tune back in. I need to somehow re-energize. I am in need of something... and I hope it comes soon.
Hopefully the next post will be a little more up.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Grandma, my love.
It's a slippery slope, really. I looked at my blog this morning and I knew I wanted to post, i love posting, but I stared at the screen for about three minutes until i wrote this. I don't want my blog to turn into nothing but wedding. Yes, my wedding is by far the biggest thing going on in my life, but it will probably be regretted if the bulk of my posts turn to wedding stuff,. There are a lot of other things going on in my life, I have on my mind-- like the ridiculous fight/tiff that Matt and I had over his stupid Zelda game last night. Just stupid is what is was, and a 'flight" that i couldn't get a word in without a stupid smirk on my face because it sounded so dumb.
But I do have a lot of my mind from dinner with my parents on Saturday night. We had a great and really fun night with them in Columbus as Polaris Grille-- which has the best food in town (in our opinion). I hadn't actually been home or seen my dad since christmas time, i cant believe it. It was great, we got to catch up about everything. I we sat and talked for over 4 hours-- we had to leave because it was getting late but we were all wishing it wasn't time to go. We talked about all the exciting things happening with my dad's company, or course the wedding, and family. We talked about my grandma (G) who is now getting older and it's getting harder and harder for her to get around. But how much we love her and she is so important to our family. She is very much the matriarch of the family and that she brings everyone together, everyone knows how smart and wise she is, and that she loves everyone so much. We all love and respect her, and I know my immediate family feels so incredibly close to her. I am unbelievably lucky to have such a great relationship with her.
We were talking on Saturday about the wedding and that my grandma has told my parents that she really would like to come. I wouldn't expect her to with getting around, and having to drive to Cincinnati and all. But the fact that I know she would love to come means the world. She is going to turn 90 years old the day before we get married. What a milestone. It would be so wonderful to be able to celebrate her and give her a big cake. At the same time we know that every day we have with her now is a gift, and we have no idea what 6 months will bring. She has been in the hospital a few times now since Christmas. But she is a fighter. What brought tears to our eyes was when my dad said that every time he sees her he treasures it because it could be the last time. I get choked up just writing it. And we all know how much my dad loves and respects her.
The best part is hearing my parents talk about how she feels about Matt. Grandmas loves Matt and her seal of approval is priceless to me, and the family. Grandmas have a feeling about people and usually are right. My mom told us that she loves how caring Matt is and that he is one of the few boyfriends brought to the family to really try to establish a relationship and get to know my Grandma. And it's true, Matt does treat her like a queen. ANd she should be treated that way. She knows how well Matt treats me and is always willing to help-- without even being asked. Matt has qualities about him that are hard to find any anybody, no less a husband. He is selfless and appreciative for the the little things, and it shows in the energy he puts forth to the people around him. My Grandma sees that.
And I hope i don't stop seeing it.
My mom mentioned one of the times when we took her to my cousin's wedding. Grandma needed to find the handicap ramp or an elevator. Matt jumped out of the car and raced up to the church to find it. Without even being asked. I didn't think anything of it because Matt is just that kind of a person, but my Grandmas said that it was exceptional. He didnt need to help at all, no less with such quickness and willingness. That's just how he is. And I know I am lucky.
I really do hope Grandmas makes it to my wedding. I would love to have her in the pictures, I would to be able to look over at her and see her there. I love her so much, I hope she knows how much she means to me. And to my future family.
... I better stop before I get any more choked up at work.
But I do have a lot of my mind from dinner with my parents on Saturday night. We had a great and really fun night with them in Columbus as Polaris Grille-- which has the best food in town (in our opinion). I hadn't actually been home or seen my dad since christmas time, i cant believe it. It was great, we got to catch up about everything. I we sat and talked for over 4 hours-- we had to leave because it was getting late but we were all wishing it wasn't time to go. We talked about all the exciting things happening with my dad's company, or course the wedding, and family. We talked about my grandma (G) who is now getting older and it's getting harder and harder for her to get around. But how much we love her and she is so important to our family. She is very much the matriarch of the family and that she brings everyone together, everyone knows how smart and wise she is, and that she loves everyone so much. We all love and respect her, and I know my immediate family feels so incredibly close to her. I am unbelievably lucky to have such a great relationship with her.
We were talking on Saturday about the wedding and that my grandma has told my parents that she really would like to come. I wouldn't expect her to with getting around, and having to drive to Cincinnati and all. But the fact that I know she would love to come means the world. She is going to turn 90 years old the day before we get married. What a milestone. It would be so wonderful to be able to celebrate her and give her a big cake. At the same time we know that every day we have with her now is a gift, and we have no idea what 6 months will bring. She has been in the hospital a few times now since Christmas. But she is a fighter. What brought tears to our eyes was when my dad said that every time he sees her he treasures it because it could be the last time. I get choked up just writing it. And we all know how much my dad loves and respects her.
The best part is hearing my parents talk about how she feels about Matt. Grandmas loves Matt and her seal of approval is priceless to me, and the family. Grandmas have a feeling about people and usually are right. My mom told us that she loves how caring Matt is and that he is one of the few boyfriends brought to the family to really try to establish a relationship and get to know my Grandma. And it's true, Matt does treat her like a queen. ANd she should be treated that way. She knows how well Matt treats me and is always willing to help-- without even being asked. Matt has qualities about him that are hard to find any anybody, no less a husband. He is selfless and appreciative for the the little things, and it shows in the energy he puts forth to the people around him. My Grandma sees that.
And I hope i don't stop seeing it.
My mom mentioned one of the times when we took her to my cousin's wedding. Grandma needed to find the handicap ramp or an elevator. Matt jumped out of the car and raced up to the church to find it. Without even being asked. I didn't think anything of it because Matt is just that kind of a person, but my Grandmas said that it was exceptional. He didnt need to help at all, no less with such quickness and willingness. That's just how he is. And I know I am lucky.
I really do hope Grandmas makes it to my wedding. I would love to have her in the pictures, I would to be able to look over at her and see her there. I love her so much, I hope she knows how much she means to me. And to my future family.
... I better stop before I get any more choked up at work.
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