Monday, November 28, 2016

Dear Cicely- Month 8

Dear Baby Girl Cicely,

This month is a big month, you learned to Crawl! Definitely much earlier than your brothers, but not by much. It was probably this week you really started cruising. First my scooting backward, then on your knees, and then you just took off. You are still quite dainty and slow, and methodical in what you do. But you are still a wee little thing, but oh so adorable.

You still only have two teeth on the bottom, but you eat more these days. And you gab gab gab. You have found your voice, and right now as i write this you are gabbing away right next to me. You are a PURE delight to bring to thanksgiving, you have just enough hair to clip in a little bow, and everyone was soooo enamored by you,.  You are always so content, and easy going. Love to laugh with your big brothers, and watch what they are doing.

Also this month you met Santa for the first time, and NO TEARS!!!! I have the sweetest picture of you two looking at each other.  You seem pretty ok with strangers, as long as i am around. And you will flash smiles at most people who smile at you.  Lots of people tell me what a happy baby you are. And you really are so sweet and happy most of the time.

 Cant wait to have you with us for christmas, and all the fun things coming up this month.  I know it wont be long now before you are pulling up and cruising between furnture and then walking. This year goes by with such quickness. Im doing my best to soak it all in when I can.

I love you to the moon and back sweet girl.


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Dear Cicely Month 7

My Dearest Cicely,

Finally back on track, you were 7 months just yesterday, and boy are you ever changing. You popped a tooth about a week ago, but you chew on just about anything so i am imagining there are more coming any day now.  Your little pincers are excellent, you can grab and grasp the tiniest thing. And you do. You can pick up little grains of rice from in front of you. You are an OK eater, you eat way less than your brothers, and you can go hours without being hungry.  Your joy for solids is not as enthusiastic as i might have thought, but you LOVE fruit. I think mangos might be your new favorite. Too bad fruit is going out of season as we enter in the cold months.

You are still as sweet and easy going as you were the day you were born. You are happy as a clam being around me and your brothers. It doesnt matter where we are or what we are doing. You make life so much easier how content you are. You adore your brothers, always looking for them and watching what they do. And they adore you, too. Always looking out for you, and making sure you are OK.

You sit up really well, and can pull yourself up to a standing position. And you can move to your belly quite easily, there is no doubt you are trying to move. It's only a matter of time. You are gabbing now, and are developing your own voice and we love it.  And you laugh ALL the time!! You are so happy, it's a joy to be around you!

We have been able to go on some trips with you, we went up to cleveland to see my mom and friends a couple months ago. And just this past weekend we took a trip to Fair Oaks Farm in indiana with your cousins.   We take you just about everywhere because you are just a little ball of joy.  You arent sleeping through the night quite yet, but you will get there.  We snuggle you, and you probably wouldnt want to be anywhere else.

We just love you more than anything, it's crazy how much that love keeps growing. Just like you do. I cant wait to see what the next months will be bring.

Love you to the moon and back!


Friday, September 30, 2016

Dear Cicely Month 6

Dear Cicely,

This is my first letter to you, I am So sorry I haven't done one sooner. The first few weeks and months have been chalk full of changes and emotions.  But you have brought more joy and happiness since you entered the world than I could have ever imagined.  As you know, your Uncle Joey died just a few days after you arrived, but you were the hope that we all clung to on those hardest days. Now here you are, getting more personality and character and we have loved watching you grow.

You are still a little peanut. Much like the day you were born, barely tipping the scales at 6.2 oz,  and now you are still only in the 30% percentiles for weight. (unlike your brothers). You sit up now, and you have since you were just over 5 months old. You reach and grab for things, and jabber all the time while you do it. You LOVE your mommy, you want me around ALL the time.  You were never good taking a bottle for anyone, and even now you don't really get excited about table food.  You don't seem very food-driven in general, and are pretty much content anywhere I am, and even better when your brothers are with you too.

Nick and Chris LOVE to play with you, and give you all kinds of hugs and kisses. Sometimes not always the gentlest, but you roll with it. Both of them are always looking out for you, and it makes me so proud to see. I am sure they will always protect you no matter what, you are so lucky.

Right now, you still have no teeth and not nearly as much hair as your brothers. It's coming in dark though, which reminds me of me when I was a baby. Everyone says you looks a lot like your brothers. It's been fun dressing you and seeing how dainty and sweet you are. Everything about you is so small and dainty, it's been fun having a daughter.  You are SO special.

You are sitting next to me right now, jabbering and wanting me. As usual. I must end this. Plus the computer is acting funny, and undoing a lot of my typing. I wish I could write more. Just know you are SUCH a wonderful addition to this family of ours. We love you so much!!!!

Love always,

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Dear: My Children, all of 6 of them

Dear beautiful children in my life,

I write this today thinking of all my kids and my niece and nephews I routinely watch over. Life is full these days. Summer is quickly coming it an end, the sunlight is gone before 9pm now and school prep has begun for everyone. We've done a lot of wonderful things together this summer; swam, watched movies, trips to kings island, trips to multiple pools and parks.  We ran around outside catching fire flies, had dance parties, and told countless stories around my dinner table. We are a family.

This will certainly go in the books as one of the most challenging years in our lives. The older ones have endured a lot this year, and still found a way to smile. There are scars on our hearts as we move into each day, and yet we must still continue to search for silver linings and the beauty in all that we do.  There is beauty in a tragedy, if you can live with the heart ache and sadness that filters through each day, but the profound ability to rise above is one of the greatest gifts.

My heart has stretched further than it ever has, and there are still days i struggle. This year accompanies change not only in the family dynamic, but my first year as a full time mother.  I know my role is not only to be the best mother i can be to my own children, but to be of most support to my niece and nephews, my in-laws, and those who need it more than I. To find God in all that we do, and grow together.  It's what we must do, even on the hard days, and the emotions that will come and go. But they are just temporary.

My ability to write is limited, but I hope there is more time soon.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Update 2

I never had enough time to post, i write this with Nick sitting next to me bumping my arm as he "works on his computer, too."  It's wonderful, yes, but i cannot complete a thought.  First, let me tell you about our little baby girl. One day I will share the birth story, i know i never posted about chris's, even though he is 2.5 years old now.  But she has been the most wonderful, easy going little baby. She was my little trooper since the day she was born, and it has made my life so much easier. A champ through all the funeral stuff just days old, and really, she has only been easier. Thrush has been her headlining story before this week, before we took an aggressive treatment that may have given her esophigitis, but i am hoping that even though it's been a long week we are on the mend.  She smiles and coos, and he so interested in her bothers. And they are so loving and affectionate to her as well. I am truly blessed.

The days, weeks, and months since Joe has passed have been a challenge, and my heart has never ached so much. But I am seeing God in places i never did before. I mean, not that i wasnt a believer before, but not only do i believe in signs (a post to be written), but the kindness of people is unbelievable. I have been touched so deeply by the out pour of kindness and generosity we have been shown by neighbors, friends, family, and i can only imagine how much jennifer has received. People are amazing, truly they are. Kindness goes a very long way, and my heart sings when i think of some of the comments people have made, or the meals they brought, oh the thoughts are endless. We are very lucky, Must end now, being a mom of three is busy! Boys are here standing around me and on my lap, they are my heart and soul. I am blessed. More soon.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Update part 1

It's crazy to read my last post looking ahead to 2016. So. much. has. changed. First, we had our baby girl Cicely Grace on St Patrick's day.. Her name so perfectly suits her and this year. 3 days after she arrived my brother in law had a massive heart attack and died leaving behind his wife and three small children. It will be two months ago this week. Life has taken a massive turn, my outlook has changed on life, things are so very different.  I hope to post more soon. Life is very, very busy these days. There is a new normal, and my new normal pales in comparison to my niece, nephews, sister-in-law, mother in law..... everyone. So much has changed.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!! Another year has ended, and once again I remain optimistic about what's to come in 2016. But let's start with a few highlights and a holiday recap: December was such a whirlwind of a month, so much happening but I must say it ended well. On top of lots of things on the calendar, doctors appointments for all of us, dinners with friends, fun times with neighbors at the Cookies with Santa and Chili Cookoff,  we also took the boys downtown to see a Charlie Brown Christmas production, and hosted a surprise 40th birthday party for their awesome uncle. It was SO busy, and that was all BEFORE Christmas!!!  There was also the sudden shock we get got the news my sister-in-law's dad died a couple weeks before Christmas.  It was so unforeseen, and I think her family is still recovering and adjusting to a new life without him. It was nice to be able to spend a little extra time with my niece and nephew the days she was gone with her family, and the services were beautiful. It's never easy to deal with tragedy, but at the same time it puts new perspective on the holidays and what is really important. You never know what tomorrow will hold, so we must treasure the moment we have now.

Christmas and New Years was delightful, I was able to dodge taking any time off this week, but the flexibility of teleworking made the work days much easier. We went to Christmas eve mass with matt's family and went to aunt Mary's for a lovely dinner before heading home to get ready for Santa. We put cookies and milk out for him, and even through a few carrots out the front door for the reindeer. We looked up in the sky hoping to see him, but the boys went to sleep happy and excited for what the morning had in store. They woke up at usual times and Christmas morning (like Christmas eve) was once again magical. Reliving it through your own children makes it wonderful all over again.  Seeing their eyes light up, and they anticipation in their hearts, magical is really the only word that comes to mind. We spent he morning together playing games, eating, and then headed over to the matt's moms for the huge Christmas party they host every  year with the entire family. It was again a bustling house but it truly felt like Christmas. We are so blessed with such a loving family, and SO much food!!! The days between Christmas and New Years are kind of a blur, I knew I still had some shopping to do, and some work to do, but we left mid-afternoon Wednesday to spend 3 days with my mom and ring in the new year with  her. I know her house may have felt smaller than it usually does for her, with the dog and my energetic boys, PLUS matt, dena and I. But it was nice to not have a busy schedule. We played games all the day with the boys, stayed in our PJs way later than we ever do, ate lots of good food, and even visited some neighbors. It time well spent. And then finished the weekend for for Matt's immediate family Christmas. The generosity and the love/care that family shows towards us and especially the kids is astounding.  It doesn't even need to be said how much those kids are loved, but all love and attention they get. It is beyond my wildest dreams, and  truly do feel blessed.

It was  good holiday ending, and a year full of lots of ups and downs. But definitely more ups. It's strange to look back at pictures at this time last year, the children show the passage of time more than anything else. Chris was so small, he was just coming out of babyhood. And how he is this insanely sweet, bright-eyed, full of life  little boy who has the most adorable voice in the entire world. And Nick has turned into a PERSON! Thoughts and opinions all his own, and frankly, I find it remarkable.  We got to go on two really neat trips, Hawaii for my dad's wedding (without the boys), and a fun cruise with matt's family with everyone.  We went to kings island a lot, we did lots of stuff with friends, attending a few weddings, and countless other fun things that are so much to document. But most importantly, we closed out the year in anticipation of another child.

It's still mind boggling that in 2016 there will be three children in our family. And I will look back on this at this time next year and hardly remember what life was like without the newest addition. We have no idea if you are a baby girl or baby boy, but I know we will love you unconditionally. So far you have made the first 29 weeks of my pregnancy go with ease. I have had such mild symptoms, no sciatic pain, no sore gums, not a whole lot of swelling really, no major food cravings or aversions, and generally I've felt fairly comfortable. I know the next 10-11 weeks will go by so fast, and likely may be more uncomfortable than the first 29, but  you have blessed us. And w cant wait to meet you.

Lots to look forward to in the months ahead. The cold, winter nights are hard, but I know 2016 will be full of change. And I am sure there will be both good and bad, but I am praying for positivity and gratitude throughout. I truly have a lot of reasons to give thanks, and I hope I can improve myself and the world around in the new year... any little bit I can. Happy 2016!