Dear beautiful children in my life,
I write this today thinking of all my kids and my niece and nephews I routinely watch over. Life is full these days. Summer is quickly coming it an end, the sunlight is gone before 9pm now and school prep has begun for everyone. We've done a lot of wonderful things together this summer; swam, watched movies, trips to kings island, trips to multiple pools and parks. We ran around outside catching fire flies, had dance parties, and told countless stories around my dinner table. We are a family.
This will certainly go in the books as one of the most challenging years in our lives. The older ones have endured a lot this year, and still found a way to smile. There are scars on our hearts as we move into each day, and yet we must still continue to search for silver linings and the beauty in all that we do. There is beauty in a tragedy, if you can live with the heart ache and sadness that filters through each day, but the profound ability to rise above is one of the greatest gifts.
My heart has stretched further than it ever has, and there are still days i struggle. This year accompanies change not only in the family dynamic, but my first year as a full time mother. I know my role is not only to be the best mother i can be to my own children, but to be of most support to my niece and nephews, my in-laws, and those who need it more than I. To find God in all that we do, and grow together. It's what we must do, even on the hard days, and the emotions that will come and go. But they are just temporary.
My ability to write is limited, but I hope there is more time soon.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Monday, June 15, 2015
Quotable Post
So I have this idea that I want to paint wonderful, inspiring, and loving quotes on the walls to bring happiness and joy into my kids room. Quotes from famous people, spiritual teachers, and just wonderful words that I think have meaning. I heard 'quotables' and I never write them down, and when you actually go and look for such quotes you can never find them. They come when you are not looking for it. The thought behind this is to have something for the kids to read in those moments, and the right words always seem to find you when you need it the most. Words that you can live by, and wouldn't it be wonderful to have some of the first words you can read-- likely the ones painted hugely all over your bedroom walls-- be words that matter. When you are lying in bed before you fall asleep, or just resting before you get in up the morning. Words that will inspire you, rebuild you, lift you up, make a different in your life and others. It's a simple thing to do, that can appear ever so minor, but matter when perhaps it really needs to matter.
People who know me know I am not crafty, I don't do party themes, I don't do monograms around my house-things- kids clothes, I don't do 'cutesty' projects around my house. Maybe I justify it with my practicality, I tend to use the time spent creating such "things" and use it towards investing in people. The bottom line is we wont need things, things are just things. And in my house, I want an environment where "WE" matter most not what we have. There will always be things we don't have or want to have, but we all know we wont be happier once we have it. We are happiest when we aren't thinking about what we dont have, but in the moment we are in and the people we are with. I want the home to be the 'home' and just that. A place where you can be you, be loved unconditionally, and just be. I want my kids to grow up knowing they can be whatever they want to be. But what I want most for them is to love themselves, and be kind to themselves, and know they can be whatever it is they are. Because I want them to be happy in whatever it is they do. I want them to grow and flourish and become good citizens. I want them to be stewards of this earth to create good, even if it is in the smallest place. I want them to find happiness no matter where they are, and hopefully a little piece of 'home' will always be with them. It will always be in their heart. Just like the true meaning of the Wizard of Oz, you will always be wearing those red slippers and to know you are wearing them and they are with you no matter where the yellow brick road takes you.
I say every day to my husband and boys how much I love them. I tell them they are so important to me, and they I am so lucky to get to be their mom (and my husband's wife). I know they are wonderful people, they inspire me, they create me, they make me want to be a better person. I know I can be a role model for them, but they are also one for me. I see their hearts in everything they do, and frankly when I think of the wondrousness of that it makes me want to weep. They are the people that give my life meaning, they are they ones that fill me up when I am feeling half empty, they are the ones that can make me feel vulnerable, they are the ones that propel me in this world. If I can build upon a piece of their hearts that can make them feel worthy, and loved, and respected then then that in turn will go back out into the world. It is easy to be kind when your heart is peaceful. You are kinder to yourself. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to succeed. Believing you matter and you belong in the space you in. And you can change the space you are in just by being there. You can create any space you want, and the energy it provides. You are the light no matter where you are. And I am so grateful for having it in my life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
" Remember you are the ONE who can fill the WORLD with Sunshine" - Snow White
" If there is light in your heart, you will find your way home" - Rumi
People who know me know I am not crafty, I don't do party themes, I don't do monograms around my house-things- kids clothes, I don't do 'cutesty' projects around my house. Maybe I justify it with my practicality, I tend to use the time spent creating such "things" and use it towards investing in people. The bottom line is we wont need things, things are just things. And in my house, I want an environment where "WE" matter most not what we have. There will always be things we don't have or want to have, but we all know we wont be happier once we have it. We are happiest when we aren't thinking about what we dont have, but in the moment we are in and the people we are with. I want the home to be the 'home' and just that. A place where you can be you, be loved unconditionally, and just be. I want my kids to grow up knowing they can be whatever they want to be. But what I want most for them is to love themselves, and be kind to themselves, and know they can be whatever it is they are. Because I want them to be happy in whatever it is they do. I want them to grow and flourish and become good citizens. I want them to be stewards of this earth to create good, even if it is in the smallest place. I want them to find happiness no matter where they are, and hopefully a little piece of 'home' will always be with them. It will always be in their heart. Just like the true meaning of the Wizard of Oz, you will always be wearing those red slippers and to know you are wearing them and they are with you no matter where the yellow brick road takes you.
I say every day to my husband and boys how much I love them. I tell them they are so important to me, and they I am so lucky to get to be their mom (and my husband's wife). I know they are wonderful people, they inspire me, they create me, they make me want to be a better person. I know I can be a role model for them, but they are also one for me. I see their hearts in everything they do, and frankly when I think of the wondrousness of that it makes me want to weep. They are the people that give my life meaning, they are they ones that fill me up when I am feeling half empty, they are the ones that can make me feel vulnerable, they are the ones that propel me in this world. If I can build upon a piece of their hearts that can make them feel worthy, and loved, and respected then then that in turn will go back out into the world. It is easy to be kind when your heart is peaceful. You are kinder to yourself. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to succeed. Believing you matter and you belong in the space you in. And you can change the space you are in just by being there. You can create any space you want, and the energy it provides. You are the light no matter where you are. And I am so grateful for having it in my life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
" Remember you are the ONE who can fill the WORLD with Sunshine" - Snow White
" If there is light in your heart, you will find your way home" - Rumi
Monday, June 1, 2015
No awards here
This parenting thing--- it's one INSANELY wild ride. There are always unforeseen turns and loops, and twists that can downright throw you. With two kids and a little under 3.5 years of parenting under my belt, who knows what's in-store. I read all my new-mom pregnant friends posting about their reviews of baby "items" and their picture perfect nursery and post gobs of pictures all over social media about where they made their purchases and want to hurl my 3" shoe heal right through the computer screen because never have they been SO far off base of what is REALLY important. Your baby doesn't care what shade of pink you have the walls, or the matching curtains and bookcases, your baby will never remember it, and frankly--the perfectly organized diapers, creams, and drawers will never look like that again once there is an actual HUMAN living in there. You don't have kids to have an audience to fulfill you own contentment's. With that said, when the rubber really meets the road, you can NEVER prepare for it. So stop the organizing, painting, picture-taking of all your time wasting money wasting endeavors, and start preparing your heart for what's to come.
I have no idea where to start with that, except for the trials you will endure will have you questioning every part of your being. For example, JUST this morning my husband dropped Nick off at preschool and it was his first day in the Flamingo room, and I didn't know about it! Frankly-- they didn't send anything home about transition week or anything, and Nick is a child that likes "to know!" He needs preparation, he likes to know what's coming. And frankly, who doesn't? But I am feeling awful this morning, because last night as we were getting ready for bed he was telling me that he doesn't like going there and would really like to stay home, so in in good nature I decided to walk through the day for him. Tell him about the morning, and where he will eat breakfast, and talk about what might be on the menu. All to prepare him and feel better about Monday and going to school. And ALL of it for naught, because he was thrown into a NEW room today!!! I am feeling like a terrible mommy, and guilty, and so sad for my little man who I feel like is already losing trust in me when I left him last week to go to Hawaii for my dad's wedding. I know how that little man operates, and he was definitely not settled when I left. We are best buds, it hurt me to leave more than he could possibly know.
I don't know where I was going with this post, other than to vent about how hard it is to be a parent knowing all you want is your child to be OK, happy, and well-adjusted. And then you run into all your shortcomings. If only there was a recipe to follow to make it happen, but there isn't. I want to say that LOVE is all you really need; but frankly the love I have for my family oozes out of me veins and grows and grows with every breath I take, but one slip up can leave me drowning. And I know I wont ever win any awards for the best decorated nursery, or the cutest play room, or basically anything crafty or creative. Frankly, the time I have free and unscheduled in my life is spent putting one foot in front of the other, and definitely no thinking planning the next step-- or next project-- or anything. But being. And living, and frankly just trying the best I can.... hoping my kids do the same.
I have no idea where to start with that, except for the trials you will endure will have you questioning every part of your being. For example, JUST this morning my husband dropped Nick off at preschool and it was his first day in the Flamingo room, and I didn't know about it! Frankly-- they didn't send anything home about transition week or anything, and Nick is a child that likes "to know!" He needs preparation, he likes to know what's coming. And frankly, who doesn't? But I am feeling awful this morning, because last night as we were getting ready for bed he was telling me that he doesn't like going there and would really like to stay home, so in in good nature I decided to walk through the day for him. Tell him about the morning, and where he will eat breakfast, and talk about what might be on the menu. All to prepare him and feel better about Monday and going to school. And ALL of it for naught, because he was thrown into a NEW room today!!! I am feeling like a terrible mommy, and guilty, and so sad for my little man who I feel like is already losing trust in me when I left him last week to go to Hawaii for my dad's wedding. I know how that little man operates, and he was definitely not settled when I left. We are best buds, it hurt me to leave more than he could possibly know.
I don't know where I was going with this post, other than to vent about how hard it is to be a parent knowing all you want is your child to be OK, happy, and well-adjusted. And then you run into all your shortcomings. If only there was a recipe to follow to make it happen, but there isn't. I want to say that LOVE is all you really need; but frankly the love I have for my family oozes out of me veins and grows and grows with every breath I take, but one slip up can leave me drowning. And I know I wont ever win any awards for the best decorated nursery, or the cutest play room, or basically anything crafty or creative. Frankly, the time I have free and unscheduled in my life is spent putting one foot in front of the other, and definitely no thinking planning the next step-- or next project-- or anything. But being. And living, and frankly just trying the best I can.... hoping my kids do the same.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Things to document
I am terrible at writing stuff down; important milestones, words, new things they can do... I witness them all and CHERISH it all-- I really do, but I know I am going to forget the details. There are a couple things that come to mind that I dont want to forget (and I still dont know the exact dates), but better to draw some line in the sand than nothing at all:
Chris:
First words: Mama (he has said for a few weeks now), Ba (which i think can be both bath and ball-- not totally sure) and Hi!! Which is freaking adorable. Not sure which one of these was first; Dada was definitely first but I think there was zero association with his actually dad. He just loved to say dadadada.
He throws balls now, dances, and loves to listen and read books now. He brushes his teeth and puts things back and follows simple instructions. He is such a smart cookie.
Nick:
Is Fully potty trained-- and hasnt looked back for a few weeks now. Started peeing exclusively in the potty for months, but now he is accident free and doesnt wear diapers at all. Even at night he only wears a pull up for caution but no accidents there either. And he can go by himself, and even undress himself and put pants on by himself. He feeds himself perfectly now (even soup!), is very neat and uses a napkin to wipe his face. WOW!
He is SO chatty and still LOVES to sing songs. I love all the things he says and it's so fun to hear his opinions on things now. If you dont have kids-- THIS IS THE BEST!!!! I cant wait to come home to see what he says every night, even if it makes me sad when he says he misses his mommy at preschool. But also fills me up when I walk in to the whole classat preschool creating the "happy rainbow" where each kid picks a color and the teacher writes down what makes them happy. Nick;s blue stripe said "My Mommy."
Chris:
First words: Mama (he has said for a few weeks now), Ba (which i think can be both bath and ball-- not totally sure) and Hi!! Which is freaking adorable. Not sure which one of these was first; Dada was definitely first but I think there was zero association with his actually dad. He just loved to say dadadada.
He throws balls now, dances, and loves to listen and read books now. He brushes his teeth and puts things back and follows simple instructions. He is such a smart cookie.
Nick:
Is Fully potty trained-- and hasnt looked back for a few weeks now. Started peeing exclusively in the potty for months, but now he is accident free and doesnt wear diapers at all. Even at night he only wears a pull up for caution but no accidents there either. And he can go by himself, and even undress himself and put pants on by himself. He feeds himself perfectly now (even soup!), is very neat and uses a napkin to wipe his face. WOW!
He is SO chatty and still LOVES to sing songs. I love all the things he says and it's so fun to hear his opinions on things now. If you dont have kids-- THIS IS THE BEST!!!! I cant wait to come home to see what he says every night, even if it makes me sad when he says he misses his mommy at preschool. But also fills me up when I walk in to the whole classat preschool creating the "happy rainbow" where each kid picks a color and the teacher writes down what makes them happy. Nick;s blue stripe said "My Mommy."
Friday, March 23, 2012
This thing called Motherhood
Work the last couple weeks i have been back has been unbelievably busy. In fact some days i get home and I dont even know how I managed to make it through the day with losing my sanity. There has been so much to do that by the time i look at the clock it's almost time for me to go home. Now, don't get me wrong, i like that the days have gone by so fast. What i don't like is the feeling of running a marathon every day for five days straight and then having to come home and take care of an infant. O ya, and get myself together and fed too. It's a of work. And the whole pumping and storing and cleaning and repeating thing too. Lots MORE work. I am very fortunate to have a good paying job, and right now I am very proud of how successful I made myself being with DoE for six years and now being one of the highest ranked in my entire office... but the trade-off is mind blowing.
I feel this way for many reasons. Mostly because every day really just seems like a trek to get through to the next day. My social life has really gone to the back burner. I used to like getting together during the week for walks with friends, dinners, o ya... and working out. O how i miss spin class. Now? I get home, feed and change my child, some how clean everything for the next day, figure out something for dinner, and all the while trying to savor every last drop of my sweet child before he needs to go to sleep for the night. Lately he goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:30. That is only three, at most four hours with him. It doesnt seem like enough. And he is getting so big so quick, I hate how brief this period is in his life and I am just wading through it.
What is even more mind blowing to me is how much I have changed. I used to think i was a pretty wound up person and very excitable (both to the good and to the bad). Now, not so much. I have relinquished a LOT of control. I still like to keep my house orderly, but i know there are trade-offs. I need to re-prioritize, is having washed floor and dusted cabinets as important to me when my spare time is so limited. Or what about making sure I am raising my child exactly by the books? And believe me i have read TOO much for me not to feel overwhelmed. But i dont. I cannot control whether or not my child is in daycare.... and I cannot control how they care for my child. But i can trust in my decision that I made a good one chosing a highly recommended facility worth every penny you pay for. (and there are lots of penny's). So far my child is healthy, I am doing the best that I can do. And that's how I manage. I manage by knowing I am doing the best I can do with what I can control.
And I think that is a big accomplishment.
Motherhood changes me menally and also physically.... lets get on the topic of caffiene. How about how I havent had hardly any! I dont know how i do it most days. Today, for example, Nick decided to wake up at 4:06am and was unable to comfort himself back to sleep. I got up and fed him and I have a difficult time going back to bed once i am up. So although i was up so early I didnt need any coffee in the morning. Actually, every day since i got back to work I only had one cup of coffee ONCE. And that was the first day because i thought i needed it. It turns out I dont. It's like the little engine inside me got replaced and is a little more fine tuned with the amount of fuel it needs to run these days. Weekends I am up early and trying to get stuff done before Nick wakes up. I always liked being up before nine or ten, but these days its more like six of seven. I just find a way to be productive when I need to be i guess. Wierd.
A lot of these things I could have never predicted about myself. I like my new lifestyle, but i miss some of the freedoms I had before. Especially with my social life, but I am finding my true friends understand and never waver. Some are even having kids of thier own now so we are sharing in the experience. I do wish that I could spend more time with Nick during the week however. I am not sure if this is a little bit of the Grass is Greener mentality, or if i really do wish i could be a SAHM. Most days i do wish i could stay home... it's hard to say bye to him in the mornings. And I have a wierd feeling as i go to work every day... like I am doing this only temporarily. I dont know why i feel that way. I dont know if that is a good or a bad thing. I guess no matter how things work out, it's good not to overburden myself with a mentality that it could be like this for the long haul. It could be a depressing mind set.
I love my little boy more than anything, and I am so optimistic of all the great memories we have waiting for us ahead. He has already given me so many and he isnt even four months old yet. Sometimes when Matt calls me during the day and I hear Nick on the phone my heart just goes pitter patter. Or when I need a little break at work I look at his pictures and I feel my heart at the bottom of my belly. I cant believe how much I love him. He gives me more joy than I could have ever imagined. And what's even more exciting is this is just the start of this little family of ours.
I feel this way for many reasons. Mostly because every day really just seems like a trek to get through to the next day. My social life has really gone to the back burner. I used to like getting together during the week for walks with friends, dinners, o ya... and working out. O how i miss spin class. Now? I get home, feed and change my child, some how clean everything for the next day, figure out something for dinner, and all the while trying to savor every last drop of my sweet child before he needs to go to sleep for the night. Lately he goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:30. That is only three, at most four hours with him. It doesnt seem like enough. And he is getting so big so quick, I hate how brief this period is in his life and I am just wading through it.
What is even more mind blowing to me is how much I have changed. I used to think i was a pretty wound up person and very excitable (both to the good and to the bad). Now, not so much. I have relinquished a LOT of control. I still like to keep my house orderly, but i know there are trade-offs. I need to re-prioritize, is having washed floor and dusted cabinets as important to me when my spare time is so limited. Or what about making sure I am raising my child exactly by the books? And believe me i have read TOO much for me not to feel overwhelmed. But i dont. I cannot control whether or not my child is in daycare.... and I cannot control how they care for my child. But i can trust in my decision that I made a good one chosing a highly recommended facility worth every penny you pay for. (and there are lots of penny's). So far my child is healthy, I am doing the best that I can do. And that's how I manage. I manage by knowing I am doing the best I can do with what I can control.
And I think that is a big accomplishment.
Motherhood changes me menally and also physically.... lets get on the topic of caffiene. How about how I havent had hardly any! I dont know how i do it most days. Today, for example, Nick decided to wake up at 4:06am and was unable to comfort himself back to sleep. I got up and fed him and I have a difficult time going back to bed once i am up. So although i was up so early I didnt need any coffee in the morning. Actually, every day since i got back to work I only had one cup of coffee ONCE. And that was the first day because i thought i needed it. It turns out I dont. It's like the little engine inside me got replaced and is a little more fine tuned with the amount of fuel it needs to run these days. Weekends I am up early and trying to get stuff done before Nick wakes up. I always liked being up before nine or ten, but these days its more like six of seven. I just find a way to be productive when I need to be i guess. Wierd.
A lot of these things I could have never predicted about myself. I like my new lifestyle, but i miss some of the freedoms I had before. Especially with my social life, but I am finding my true friends understand and never waver. Some are even having kids of thier own now so we are sharing in the experience. I do wish that I could spend more time with Nick during the week however. I am not sure if this is a little bit of the Grass is Greener mentality, or if i really do wish i could be a SAHM. Most days i do wish i could stay home... it's hard to say bye to him in the mornings. And I have a wierd feeling as i go to work every day... like I am doing this only temporarily. I dont know why i feel that way. I dont know if that is a good or a bad thing. I guess no matter how things work out, it's good not to overburden myself with a mentality that it could be like this for the long haul. It could be a depressing mind set.
I love my little boy more than anything, and I am so optimistic of all the great memories we have waiting for us ahead. He has already given me so many and he isnt even four months old yet. Sometimes when Matt calls me during the day and I hear Nick on the phone my heart just goes pitter patter. Or when I need a little break at work I look at his pictures and I feel my heart at the bottom of my belly. I cant believe how much I love him. He gives me more joy than I could have ever imagined. And what's even more exciting is this is just the start of this little family of ours.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Busy
I haven't been very good at posting recently... mostly because there is never enough time. I am back at work, in my new job, missing my son terribly. But have been so busy at work it's hard to believe i have been back almost 3 weeks already. It's crazy how quickly the time passes.
Nick is 15 weeks old now and getting cute by the second. I swear, I cant help but just look at him and love how cute he is. He just started putting his hands up to his mouth-- he finally knows where it is-- and he puts them all the way in. Its cute to watch him try to stick both hands in at the same time. But they are so cute and tiny!
We have had some absolutely gorgeous days here and I cant wait to get home and play with him. This weekend is his Christening so there is lots to do before then. Life is very busy for everyone, hopefully when things settle in here at work ill have more time to write. Until next time...
Nick is 15 weeks old now and getting cute by the second. I swear, I cant help but just look at him and love how cute he is. He just started putting his hands up to his mouth-- he finally knows where it is-- and he puts them all the way in. Its cute to watch him try to stick both hands in at the same time. But they are so cute and tiny!
We have had some absolutely gorgeous days here and I cant wait to get home and play with him. This weekend is his Christening so there is lots to do before then. Life is very busy for everyone, hopefully when things settle in here at work ill have more time to write. Until next time...
Friday, March 2, 2012
Month 3, Dear Nicholas
Dear my sweet baby Nicholas,
I cannot believe tomorrow you will be THREE months old. It will have been 13 whole weeks since you arrived and I still cant believe how quickly time has passed. Everyone tells me to enjoy every minute of you, and believe me I am! You are a little angel and I cant get enough of you.... even if you do cry for over an hour straight after I feed you like you did a couple times earlier this week right before bed. But I still love you, yes I do. I cant say I always love your cries, well, or your shrieks, but I do love the many facial expressions you have now. I even love that sad little pouty face you make right before you are about to cry. Oh the little frown and scrunched up face you have just breaks my heart, and when I can I just love to swoop you up and catch ya before the cry comes out.
You have many facial expressions now, and I love to see how you react to things. You are very interested in the world around you now... you LOVE to look around and just take it all in. You have all kinds of impressions of things, and you wear your thoughts clear as day on your face. You have a little quizzical look-- which is different than the confused look-- and then a serious look, and a daydreaming look, and just a content look... and of course, a look when you are fully engaged. And o my, your happy look when we play with you is the best look of them all. We do patty cake with your hands or sing a song and play with your legs, you just LOVE to smile when we do that! Your smiles are HUGE and so beautiful. I am pretty sure that a flash of one of your smiles could cure any of my ailments. And BOY do you have lots to say these days. A couple times this week we went on a walk in the stroller and you chatted and cood for a good half hour. I think you liked the wind on your face and seeing the bright blue sky and the sun. You are SO cute! And your voice is like heaven..... I hope you continue to have lots to say to us-- we love to listen!
You dont have tuned motor skills yet, but the little things you do make us laugh. The last few weeks we are so amused when you throw your legs up in the air when we are ready to change your diaper. You are SO helpful! And you dont really scream at us that much anymore when we do change you, and you never seem to mind when you put your beautiful clean socks plop down into your poop when I am trying to clean you up. You are so funny. Although the blow-out diapers you have had recently are not so funny. I never saw so much poop come from such a little person. And how it can end up half way up your back still mystifies me. I can always tell when it is coming too, you tend to concentrate a little, and then you suck in your tummy and push your little butt out... and there is goes. I know i love you when i think even the farty noises you make amuse me.
You continue to sleep like a little champ now too. And this week since I started back at work, I have been the one to wake you up. And it does break my heart when I turn on the little lamp in your room and rub your sweet little sleeping face to stir you. I dont want to wake the sleeping angel, I could just watch you sleep all night. The tough thing for us now is figuring our your feeding schedule and how much you need each time. This whole pumping and storing thing is new to us, but it's important that you have breast milk so you can have a strong body and mind. I am hoping we will figure all that out soon
I am back to work now, I started just a few days ago and man do i miss you during the day. I have a big picture of you from when you were 6 weeks old right in front of me and I look at it often. During the day you are cared for by Ms Angie and Ms Renee and they are VERY nice ladies. I don't see you during the day but they tell me you have done well the last couple. I bet you find it interesting to watch the other babies around you... and I hope you make a few friends along the way. If I could be home with you I would do it in an instant.... but i am doing my best to see silver lining of daycare. And I pray that you do too. This month hopefully we will fall into a good routine for all of us, and we have lots of great memories as we see all the new things you will start to do. You are getting baptised this month too, so we get to have a little party all in your honor. I am excited for that. I am excited for a lot of things, but I just want to enjoy you every minute of NOW while i can too.
Daddy is bringing you down to visit me at work today so we can have lunch. I cant even tell you how happy i am about that! He just called me to ask me where I want to go.... I guess i should figure that out now. Although I am not sure if i can resist just getting a couple pieces of bread and some mayo and making a Nick sandwich and eating you up whole. Or maybe just your toes.... those are JUST so irresistable! But it's Lent so i cant do that on friday's anyway:)
I love you more and more every day. Every day I dont think I could love you anymore, but somehow more love just squeezes into my heart. Until my next letter to you....
Love always,
Mommy
I cannot believe tomorrow you will be THREE months old. It will have been 13 whole weeks since you arrived and I still cant believe how quickly time has passed. Everyone tells me to enjoy every minute of you, and believe me I am! You are a little angel and I cant get enough of you.... even if you do cry for over an hour straight after I feed you like you did a couple times earlier this week right before bed. But I still love you, yes I do. I cant say I always love your cries, well, or your shrieks, but I do love the many facial expressions you have now. I even love that sad little pouty face you make right before you are about to cry. Oh the little frown and scrunched up face you have just breaks my heart, and when I can I just love to swoop you up and catch ya before the cry comes out.
You have many facial expressions now, and I love to see how you react to things. You are very interested in the world around you now... you LOVE to look around and just take it all in. You have all kinds of impressions of things, and you wear your thoughts clear as day on your face. You have a little quizzical look-- which is different than the confused look-- and then a serious look, and a daydreaming look, and just a content look... and of course, a look when you are fully engaged. And o my, your happy look when we play with you is the best look of them all. We do patty cake with your hands or sing a song and play with your legs, you just LOVE to smile when we do that! Your smiles are HUGE and so beautiful. I am pretty sure that a flash of one of your smiles could cure any of my ailments. And BOY do you have lots to say these days. A couple times this week we went on a walk in the stroller and you chatted and cood for a good half hour. I think you liked the wind on your face and seeing the bright blue sky and the sun. You are SO cute! And your voice is like heaven..... I hope you continue to have lots to say to us-- we love to listen!
You dont have tuned motor skills yet, but the little things you do make us laugh. The last few weeks we are so amused when you throw your legs up in the air when we are ready to change your diaper. You are SO helpful! And you dont really scream at us that much anymore when we do change you, and you never seem to mind when you put your beautiful clean socks plop down into your poop when I am trying to clean you up. You are so funny. Although the blow-out diapers you have had recently are not so funny. I never saw so much poop come from such a little person. And how it can end up half way up your back still mystifies me. I can always tell when it is coming too, you tend to concentrate a little, and then you suck in your tummy and push your little butt out... and there is goes. I know i love you when i think even the farty noises you make amuse me.
You continue to sleep like a little champ now too. And this week since I started back at work, I have been the one to wake you up. And it does break my heart when I turn on the little lamp in your room and rub your sweet little sleeping face to stir you. I dont want to wake the sleeping angel, I could just watch you sleep all night. The tough thing for us now is figuring our your feeding schedule and how much you need each time. This whole pumping and storing thing is new to us, but it's important that you have breast milk so you can have a strong body and mind. I am hoping we will figure all that out soon
I am back to work now, I started just a few days ago and man do i miss you during the day. I have a big picture of you from when you were 6 weeks old right in front of me and I look at it often. During the day you are cared for by Ms Angie and Ms Renee and they are VERY nice ladies. I don't see you during the day but they tell me you have done well the last couple. I bet you find it interesting to watch the other babies around you... and I hope you make a few friends along the way. If I could be home with you I would do it in an instant.... but i am doing my best to see silver lining of daycare. And I pray that you do too. This month hopefully we will fall into a good routine for all of us, and we have lots of great memories as we see all the new things you will start to do. You are getting baptised this month too, so we get to have a little party all in your honor. I am excited for that. I am excited for a lot of things, but I just want to enjoy you every minute of NOW while i can too.
Daddy is bringing you down to visit me at work today so we can have lunch. I cant even tell you how happy i am about that! He just called me to ask me where I want to go.... I guess i should figure that out now. Although I am not sure if i can resist just getting a couple pieces of bread and some mayo and making a Nick sandwich and eating you up whole. Or maybe just your toes.... those are JUST so irresistable! But it's Lent so i cant do that on friday's anyway:)
I love you more and more every day. Every day I dont think I could love you anymore, but somehow more love just squeezes into my heart. Until my next letter to you....
Love always,
Mommy
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Dear Baby
Dear Baby Nicholas,
O my how I love you. I cant believe you are already over 10 weeks old, it seems like only yesterday when I held you in my arms just over 6 pounds and hours old. You were so small and fragile... now you are growing into your personality and your own looks. You are the most beautiful baby I have ever laid my eyes on. And the most cuddly. I love that about you. My favorite place in the whole world is snuggled up on my couch with you on my chest sleeping with a blanket over us. I don't think I would want to be anywhere else.
At just over 10 weeks you are in the 60% percentile for weight and about 40% for height. I think you will be tall though. You are strong too! You can already hold up your body weight on your legs. And you can roll over from your tummy to your back... but you have been able to do that since you were just over 5 weeks old. You are already over achieving. You are the happiest baby in the morning, throwing smiles at us all over the place. I cant wait to discover what will make you giggle. I hope i figure it out soon. One thing that consistently intrigues you are the curtains in our living room... we always catch you staring up at them. I am pretty sure I caught you smiling at them once too. YOu like ceiling fans, but nearly as much as those curtains! We can always calm you down during bath time, but just now you are getting used to get OUT of the bath. YOu don't splash around yet, but when you figure it out you can i am sure you will love the bath even more.
You continue to amaze us by how much you are learning, growing and changing every day. I am still shocked by your hair. I remember being surprised by how much hair you had when you came out, but then you lost a lot of it, and now it's growing so quick on the top of your head. And boy have your cheeks filled in, you have the cutest baby face. And the sweetest lips. You used to be able to make your lips so small.... like you were really concentrating. I always wondered which side of the family those little lips of your came from. Lots of people say you look like daddy. And cute as a button.
In just two weeks I have to go back to work... after getting to spend 12 whole weeks with you. These have been the best weeks of my whole life. A taste of being a stay at home mom is such s tease, I wish i could be with you all day every day. You are so much fun to be around, sometimes i could just stare at you. I cant get enough. It makes me so sad that I have to leave you, and I pray every day that you will thrive in daycare. Please do that for me so i don't feel so bad about it. I will do my very best to make the most of the time I do get to spend with you.... because I want you to grow into an even more beautiful person that you already are.
I love you lots and lots.
Love always,
Mommy
O my how I love you. I cant believe you are already over 10 weeks old, it seems like only yesterday when I held you in my arms just over 6 pounds and hours old. You were so small and fragile... now you are growing into your personality and your own looks. You are the most beautiful baby I have ever laid my eyes on. And the most cuddly. I love that about you. My favorite place in the whole world is snuggled up on my couch with you on my chest sleeping with a blanket over us. I don't think I would want to be anywhere else.
At just over 10 weeks you are in the 60% percentile for weight and about 40% for height. I think you will be tall though. You are strong too! You can already hold up your body weight on your legs. And you can roll over from your tummy to your back... but you have been able to do that since you were just over 5 weeks old. You are already over achieving. You are the happiest baby in the morning, throwing smiles at us all over the place. I cant wait to discover what will make you giggle. I hope i figure it out soon. One thing that consistently intrigues you are the curtains in our living room... we always catch you staring up at them. I am pretty sure I caught you smiling at them once too. YOu like ceiling fans, but nearly as much as those curtains! We can always calm you down during bath time, but just now you are getting used to get OUT of the bath. YOu don't splash around yet, but when you figure it out you can i am sure you will love the bath even more.
You continue to amaze us by how much you are learning, growing and changing every day. I am still shocked by your hair. I remember being surprised by how much hair you had when you came out, but then you lost a lot of it, and now it's growing so quick on the top of your head. And boy have your cheeks filled in, you have the cutest baby face. And the sweetest lips. You used to be able to make your lips so small.... like you were really concentrating. I always wondered which side of the family those little lips of your came from. Lots of people say you look like daddy. And cute as a button.
In just two weeks I have to go back to work... after getting to spend 12 whole weeks with you. These have been the best weeks of my whole life. A taste of being a stay at home mom is such s tease, I wish i could be with you all day every day. You are so much fun to be around, sometimes i could just stare at you. I cant get enough. It makes me so sad that I have to leave you, and I pray every day that you will thrive in daycare. Please do that for me so i don't feel so bad about it. I will do my very best to make the most of the time I do get to spend with you.... because I want you to grow into an even more beautiful person that you already are.
I love you lots and lots.
Love always,
Mommy
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Parenting
I cant believe in just a couple days baby N will be an entire month old. It's crazy to think about how quickly time is passing, even though the first couple weeks we couldn't have felt more turbulence of the incredibly steep learning curve. But every day is a little easier, although each day is different from the last. I already cant imagine leaving him to go back to work. Gosh we love him so much.... our little bundle of joy, stress, love, sleeplessness, newness, awesomeness.... words cant begin to describe it all.
I am especially thankful for all the visitors we have had in the first month.... i cant forget, even though i didn't take pictures of everyone. Theresa, Lauren and ken (lauren twice!), Jessie, Andi, Faith, Chris, Ben and Andrea, my parents, matt's family, Elizabeth, Marisa, my friends are amazing. I need to take more pictures, so i can remember.... too soon i will look back and wish to have the days back.
Hope you and yours had a merry christmas. And a very happy new year!
Hope you and yours had a merry christmas. And a very happy new year!
Monday, December 19, 2011
He arrived
I am waiting on the pictures from his first days, but he came on December 3, 2011. 8:40am, 6 pounds 9.6 oz, 19 inches long. And full of cuteness.
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