Month 3, Dear Nicholas

Dear my sweet baby Nicholas,

 I cannot believe tomorrow you will be THREE months old. It will have been 13 whole weeks since you arrived and I still cant believe how quickly time has passed. Everyone tells me to enjoy every minute of you, and believe me I am! You are a little angel and I cant get enough of you.... even if you do cry for over an hour straight after I feed you like you did a couple times earlier this week right before bed. But I still love you, yes I do.   I cant say I always love your cries, well, or your shrieks, but I do love the many facial expressions you have now. I even love that sad little pouty face you make right before you are about to cry. Oh the little frown and scrunched up face you have just breaks my heart, and when I can I just love to swoop you up and catch ya before the cry comes out.

You have many facial expressions now, and I love to see how you react to things. You are very interested in the world around you now... you LOVE to look around and just take it all in. You have all kinds of impressions of things, and you wear your thoughts clear as day on your face. You have a little quizzical look-- which is different than the confused look-- and then a serious look, and a daydreaming look, and just a content look... and of course, a look when you are fully engaged. And o my, your happy look when we play with you is the best look of them all. We do patty cake with your hands or sing a song and play with your legs, you just LOVE to smile when we do that! Your smiles are HUGE and so beautiful.  I am pretty sure that a flash of one of your smiles could cure any of my ailments.  And BOY do you have lots to say these days. A couple times this week we went on a walk in the stroller and you chatted and cood for a good half hour. I think you liked the wind on your face and seeing the bright blue sky and the sun. You are SO cute! And your voice is like heaven..... I hope you continue to have lots to say to us-- we love to listen!

You dont have tuned motor skills yet, but the little things you do make us laugh.  The last few weeks we are so amused when you throw your legs up in the air when we are ready to change your diaper. You are SO helpful! And you dont really scream at us that much anymore when we do change you, and you never seem to mind when you put your beautiful clean socks plop down into your poop when I am trying to clean you up. You are so funny.  Although the blow-out diapers you have had recently are not so funny.  I never saw so much poop come from such a little person. And how it can end up half way up your back still mystifies me. I can always tell when it is coming too, you tend to concentrate a little, and then you suck in your tummy and push your little butt out... and there is goes.  I know i love you when i think even the farty noises you make amuse me. 

You continue to sleep like a little champ now too. And this week since I started back at work, I have been the one to wake you up. And it does break my heart when I turn on the little lamp in your room and rub your sweet little sleeping face to stir you.  I dont want to wake the sleeping angel, I could just watch you sleep all night.  The tough thing for us now is figuring our your feeding schedule and how much you need each time. This whole pumping and storing thing is new to us, but it's important that you have breast milk so you can have a strong body and mind. I am hoping we will figure all that out soon

I am back to work now, I started just a few days ago and man do i miss you during the day. I have a big picture of you from when you were 6 weeks old right in front of me and I look at it often. During the day you are cared for by Ms Angie and Ms Renee and they are VERY nice ladies. I don't see you during the day but they tell me you have done well the last couple.  I bet you find it interesting to watch the other babies around you... and I hope you make a few friends along the way. If  I could be home with you I would do it in an instant.... but i am doing my best to see silver lining of daycare. And I pray that you do too.  This month hopefully we will fall into a good routine for all of us, and we have lots of great memories as we see all the new things you will start to do. You are getting baptised this month too, so we get to have a little party all in your honor. I am excited for that.  I am excited for a lot of things, but I just want to enjoy you every minute of NOW while i can too.

Daddy is bringing you down to visit me at work today so we can have lunch. I cant even tell you how happy i am about that!  He just called me to ask me where I want to go.... I guess i should figure that out now. Although I am not sure if i can resist just getting a couple pieces of bread and some mayo and making a Nick sandwich and eating you up whole. Or maybe just your toes.... those are JUST so irresistable! But it's Lent so i cant do that on friday's anyway:)

I love you more and more every day. Every day I dont think I could love you anymore, but somehow more love just squeezes into my heart. Until my next letter to you....

Love always,
Mommy