The first Baby surprise

I guess the one thing about having kids are all the surprises that come with the package. I guess i just thought about this, that as they grow older they are continuously surprising you with what they know and what they can do.  It's probably one heck of a journey! But now that i write that, the first surprise came on Monday when we had our 20 week anatomy scan  *although, it was 23 weeks+ for us* and we found out if the little person inside of me is a little girl or a little boy.... and the surprise is....

A BOY!

I definitely was surprised!  My coworker Jon told me NOT to find out, that is all part of the fun and anticipation.   But really, it's just one of the many surprises that we get to have. And the day that the baby comes is an entirely great surprise all in itself... so why NOT get an additional day of surprise out of the experience?  I was thinking it was  girl, but i guess subconsciously expecting a boy... if that makes sense. Maybe because growing up there were a lot of girls around, my parent's friend's kids were mostly girls... i have more girl cousins than boy cousins.... the list goes on.   But Matt comes from a long line of the exact opposite.  But the cards fell and the verdict was a baby boy. The more i think about it, i think it's great to have at least one boy in the family. I always wanted an older brother-- and i think the oldest child has personality characteristics (generally speaking) that might fit better with a boy.  Plus,  I cant wait to go to baseball games or soccer games, whatever sporting events that come out way. Maybe this kiddo will play HS football, who doesn't love going to HS football games?  I know we have lots of new and fun experiences ahead of us.

I am also happy to know that my friend S is also expecting a baby boy on month before us-- so it's fun we already know the kiddo has some friends. Matt's cousin is expecting a little one in March, and our friends B and A are also expecting in March-- i hope they have boys too! 
 I guess it's time to bring on the BLUE!!!

My weekend, my week, my night and my dinner.

Yesterday i was feeling pretty grumbly and bloated all day, i haven't been eating all that well the last few days, and my clothes are definitely feeling tighter and tighter. It was an OK day but it really ended up being one of the better week days. I went into the office at 7am with Matt because he had to be in early, and we got to leave work at 4 and that felt SO early. We had tons of time to do stuff after work. We dropped the car off for service, we went to the grocery, and i made an absolutely yummy and healthy meal. I make cooked turkey sandwiches with pesto, arugula, and avocado, and a summer salad with cucumbers, tomatoes and onions with Italian dressing. It was so yummy and healthy. I am making another healthier dinner tonight, and hoping i can keep up the healthy eating habits. It felt good, and matt and I even walked before bed last night... something i need to start doing more of.

This weekend i definitely fell off the healthy wagon, but it was a GREAT weekend to make up for it.  Memorial Day weekend always seems good, it's seems to have been good every year.... at least that is what my memory is telling me right now. Saturday we had a wedding in Dayton for two of our favorite friends-- who were marrying each other-- so it was a VERY happy day. Plus, we got to see tons of great friends all in one place. We started telling people about new baby N and when people saw us this weekend they were UNBELIEVABLY happy! In fact, they were amazing, and i am so blessed to have great friends! The rest of the weekend wasn't too shabby either; on Sunday we had brunch at the hotel and talked to our friends a little while, then headed back and hung out with matt's parents for a little while, grabbed some lunch and were very productive in the yard. We went to the grocery, and make a dish for the part on Sunday, and enjoyed a late dinner together at ichiban. Monday we got up and basically headed straight over to matt's parents for the party and spend the entire day there. It was hot and sunny and spent lots of time by the pool, it was fun catching up with his family who are always great.  Got home around 8ish and  grabbed some Wendy's (which non-pregnant me would have NEVER done) and enjoyed a relaxing evening before bed. It was a great weekend, and so far this week hasn't been bad either.

Thursday i am taking a class at Good Sam hospital about being healthy during pregnancy, i am nervous and excited. Nervous because hospitals are big and i always seem to get lost, but excited because i am hoping to learn a few good things.   Then this weekend i am in town and have another cookout on Saturday with my cinci friends. I am happy to be in town most of this month (with the exception of next saturday), and it feels good to finally be able to plan things without always being on the go.

Yesterday i made my first maternity purchase online, which kind of scares me, i don't like buying online generally. But this constant 90 plus degree heat pushed me over the edge and I bought a swimsuit. I cant wait for it to come, i cant wait to go swimming.  I am happy for summer to be here, the LAST summer pre-baby... i am definitely looking forward to enjoying it!

Here is a pic of my purchase.

Until next time!....

A rather revealing update

So it's been a long time secret, or well, at least it feels like it's been an incredibly long time. Over eight weeks, and last week the doctor said the world can finally know.... I am pregnant! Yep, almost 12 weeks this weekend which means almost out of hte first trimester. Last week on Friday i had my first ultrasound and the doctor said i am out of the woods as far as risks of miscarrying or bad complications, so we are slowly telling the world. A lot of my extended family doesn't know yet, and gobs of my friends don't know although a few of the closest new when i found out. I told my boss on Monday before i went on a business trip this week and she was insanely supportive. I have an incredible boss.  My family and Matt's family both know and they are really excited, in fact incredibly supportive and that makes the process a rather enjoyable one. Although sometimes scary and disbelieving, but it's definitely been a trip. And to think i still have two more trimesters to go.

It feels a little weird writing about it, it feels weird telling people in general since it's been such a huge secret. In fact, when i tell people i barely understand the words coming out of my mouth since Ive been trying to hide when it's a HUGE part of what i think about every day. I told a couple co-workers on Monday and they were UNBELIEVABLY amazing. In fact, they made me feel so good and accepted and supported, i don't think they will ever know how they made me feel.  None of my college friends know, not sure when they will find out. It's kind of sad that they were such a big part of my life and now in this life changing part they have no idea. It's weird to think about. But that's the crazy thing about this world and the short time we have on it, you can never predict what's in store for us.

But this year will be full of changes that is for sure. My due date by the calendar is December 10th, but in my last ultrasound the doctor said the baby looked a little small so  i have another scan today to get a better idea of the baby's age and due date. I cant wait! I am worried it will be too close to Christmas, but whatever date they give me the little nugget when come whenever it's ready to come no matter what. 

It's crazy to think about how much my life will change in just a few short month. It's going to be weird to look back on these days and try to think about how life was without this little person, but we cant wait.  Slowly people will start finding out, its fun to hear the reactions.  I haven't made any kind of public announcement about it, maybe next week or so, but things are changing.....

Things are definitely changing.....

Thoughts of Babies

Isnt there a name for it? When you think about having babies a lot? What is that called?  I cant think of it, but boy do i have it bad.  I am not quite sure what has changed since even before the new year, but something definitely has.  I haven't really talked about it at all outwardly,  it feels awkward to say it out loud. In fact, i dont think i have said anything to anyone besides, well, Matt.

On my down time i work i find myself looking at my old HS friends facebook pictures, two of which had thier first child in the last couple months. I found myself looking at their baby room pictures, their pregnancy pictures, thier holiday pictures of 'baby's first Christmas.' What has gotten into me!?!?! Then i start thinking of what i would do for a baby room, and then what month of the year the baby's birthday would be depending on the time if i where to get pregnant, what social events i have (weddings, trips, work engagements, etc) during specific times of the year and how far along i would be. WHAT HAS gotten into me!?!?!

I really dont know where and when I felt the shift... or if this is just a passing thing. Usually when i have a glimmer of the idea pop into my head, it easily escapes depending on who i recently spend time with. I thought i would definitely lose the feeling after being around my family for multiple days in a row... I usually lose the feeling when i am around people who dont talk about it or it was never a topic of conversation.  Mostly my friends and my family.  But the funny thing is, i cant think of a few friends who babies are also on their mind now..... which makes me thing i may not be a lone... One of of the biggest adverse influences on my thoughts before were the fact that i would be alone since no one  i know really closely of my friends will be having babies.  But now i think of who my really good friends are and i can name a bunch who could be pregnant or have a child within the next 12-24 months.... A, J, S, J, T, maybe even F, ... who knows who else?

I have also probably come to realize that the big adverse idea is the least of my problems.... because the friends i think of first are really there for me no matter how much my schedule changes... and my life.  I need to stop cramming the square peg in to the round hole.... its just not worth it anymore.   I found myself reading websites and searching for sites for 'how do you know you are ready to have a baby'.... And instead of being scared away by it-- like it ordinarily would have--- i reaffirmed my new thoughts.

And re-affirmed my thoughts that 'are my friends ready for me to have a baby' shouldn't even be in the consideration set.  AND if roles were reversed-- which often they are--- i  would be THRILLED for any of my other friends to have a baby... i know the feeling would be shared. Especially those i find the closest to me now.

So then, Monday afternoon after work i found myself in the conversation about babies with Matt..... Now, i knew there would be no revelations since i know Matt has been ready for babies for years and years now. He told me-- as he has said once to me before--- that he knew he wanted kids early in life. Especially with his heart, and the various conditions that run in his family, that he knew he wanted to share the joy as early as possible to have the experience as long as possible since he has no idea how long he would be on this earth. That is truly inspiring, I love him for his reasons. And it is confirmed every time i see him with babies and kids of all ages. He lights up.

And then we talked about how we could not be more ready now too. We have been together for over 4 years, we are stable and comfortable in our own skin and in our marriage. We are financially stable and comfortable to afford the growing expenses that this wouldn't cause added stress.  We have HUGELY supportive families, our friends will be great, and we are at the right age to START the stage of our life.  And when I think about our daily life i lead with Matt, we really are ready to have a new addition. We do so much together with our free time, i am only imagining the possibilities of the enriched life we would with a third to share in it.

WOW. I had a lot to say i guess..... I hope there isnt another shift. I have a feeling about 2011 and the changing that will come in the new year.  I dont know whats in store for me, but I am doing my darnedest to keep an open mind about it all.  But i do have a feeling of excitement right now that i cant seem to kick out of my head... it's strange and new, and something i am not familiar with.....

God only knows that in store for us......