Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The day before Thanksgiving post

 It's the Wednesday before thanksgiving-- or as some say, tanksgiving-- and i am sitting here at work thinking about how i will write my giving thanks post (that i have written i think every year since i started this blog). And no, it's not that i don't have a lot of be thankful for this year but more like where do i start?

One of the first thing that came to mind was how this year i feel like i just did NO giving back. I mean i didn't do any kind of service project,  or anything that i think really made a difference. I hope next year will be different, or at least maybe i can find something work recognizing.  That should be on my year in review and another new years resolution.

This year, like in years past, Matt and I have decided to spend the actual holiday with his family and take friday off to drive up to see mine. I really did struggle with it this year since i thought maybe id want to be around my family to celebrate my grandma's life.  But in a way, i am giving thanks for the wonderful years i got to have with her instead of recognizing that we have lost her. 
Lets start somewhere:
(in no particular order)

1) Of course my wonderful husband

2) My in-laws
3)The great friends i have been able to get even closer with this year (specifically C, E, J, C, L, and G)....  You have made a difference in my life this year.
4) Becoming a Godparent, what a privilege.

5) My health
6) The health of those closest to me
7) Financial stability-- which i am ever more appreciating
8) My beautiful Odie

9) Being able to find happiness.

So here's so another great thanksgiving holiday! And I CANT WAIT to start decorating for Christmas!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Im back from EUROPE. And lots of thoughts...

I AM BACK from Switzerland, France, Germany and the Netherlands. The Rhine River cruise was amazing and SO restful. In fact, i am pretty sure i havent rested that much since before college. Stops along the way where:
Basel (Switzerland) (for 2 days)
Strausburg (france)
Hiedelburg (Germany)
Cologne (I LOVED)
Kinderjidk (Netherlands)
It was FANTASTIC. I loved Cologne, i loved seeing the enormous Catherdral! And on that day it just so happened to be 11/11, and at 11:11am on 11/11 is Carnivaal.--- the GIGANTIC party with  hundreds of thousands of Germans dressed up in all sorts of crazy outfits drinking and partying in the streets. It was nuts! But so fun to be a part of!

I also loved walking the European streets, and touring castles-- especially the Marksburg Castle-- the only castle in the middle Rhine to never be attacked. It was fascinating!  I loved eating and drinking all the German food and wine, and relaxing on the rhine river watching the cute towns pass by... and seeing lots of castles on the rolling hills as i sit and enjoy a glass of wine.  I loved taking an afternoon with matt and shopping in the lit up of streets in the shopping district in Cologne! It was cold and rainy and getting dark as we dodged in and out of stores havinh a fabulous time!  It was a wonderful memory!  We drank a lot of wine and took lots of afternoon naps, and ate wonderfully cooked meals. It was a great trip! I will post pictures soon!

Lots of things have been on my mind lately. One of which of the major topics is the idea of children. Spending 9 days with my in laws puts a lot of baby impressions all over your brain. Especially since they talk a lot about my nephews. Matt and I have spent a lot of time thinking about the topic, and it's hard to decide when will i be ready? Because some days i think i want to start the family right away, but other times i cant think far enough in the future. I worry about how mature i am, i worry about not being able to relate to a lot of my friends since very few have kids, i worry about my friends falling completely out of my life because of the lack of time i will have available with family.  But then the part of me that wants kids always prevails because i probably know by now who the real friends in my life are, and my family is so unbelievably supportive of us, and i have the most perfect relationship with my sister-in-law that a another niece or nephew would only bring us even closer. It's crazy to be thinking about these things in my life, because just a couple years ago these ideas couldn't have seemed more distant. But it's exciting, and the idea brings a smile to my face.

And speaking of family, there has been a lot of new development on the home front this year in 2010. Not only changing traditions with the loss of my grandma, but a new dad because he sold his company last month.  The company he has put his whole life, marriage, children, and financial stability on the line to make a success for hte last 15 or so years.  It's sold and my dad did make it a success--- i couldn't be more proud of him.  He truly resembles what it means to be an American, to work hard to make a living for yourself out of nothing. And truly it was nothing-- a man who came from a small, fairly poor, family who paid his whole way to make it tthrough college and grad school while working 40+ hours a week. To get a job, start your own company, pourr your heart and soul into it, risking absolutely everything, to make it work.  And it did. Even though many, many sacrifices were made. It makes my sister and i weepy sometimes, and want to tell him how happy we are to have our dad back, and to have been rewarded for his huge accomplishment.  I tear up when i think of how proud i am because he deserve every ounce of success. And my mom, too, who really has made the most sacrifices when my dad was never around working the ungodly hours and never sleeping... for 15 years.

But with great reward there also comes some resentment and entitlement from others.  And this is the feeling that makes me the most disgusted and angry. I cant help but want to yell and scream when i hear some stories, BECAUSE IF THEY ONLY KNEW!!! I dont think anyone knows what sacrifices were made for it, and it angers me to the point is makes my blood boil. I dont want a dime of my dad's success, and i dont want greedy-self righteous- ignorant others have a say in anything.  In fact, i cant think of anything else in the world that could make me more upset.... IF THEY ONLY FUCKING KNEW!!!!!!
I write this now because i hope it's the last time i will feel this way. I dont want another story to hear about, i dont want to even think about it or i will live in the anger. But it's on my mind and I want to live the way my dad lives his life-- with an optimistic and positive outlook on life. And good does and will prevail.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween weekend recap

Happy first day of November! I cant believe Halloween has already come and gone. What a busy- but super fun- weekend it was. I was so busy all last week/weekend that Monday is soo unbelievably tiring.

Last weekend we carved pumpkins with some good friends.

Even went out for sushi and 4 hour dinner with Seabass and had a great time.

Drove to Cleveland and spent a wonderful celebratory weekend with my family.

And i saw my best friend and her boyfriend Saturday day afternoon.

Even went to a halloween party at P and E's and had a great time with everyone. We ended up being Gilligan;s island

Had a great brunch with my family before we drove home on Sunday.

Hung out with Matt outside waiting for trick or treaters Sunday night together.

Then our good friends came over around 8, C C E and J, and they brought over all the fixins to make homemade pizzas. 6 homemade pizzas to be exact, with fresh ingredients, and the boys did all the work while the girls just hung out and drank wine! And then we played games and i went to bed waay too late for a work day.

But it really was an absolutely PERFECT weekend.

Best weekend to have before I eagerly anticipate and exciting vacation on thursday!!


I love this time of the year:)

Until next time....