Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Day Before Thanksgiving Post

As I sit at work counting down the hours until i get to go home since no one is in the office, i figure i might as well continue what i started here by writing down those things i am thankful for as Thanksgiving approaches tomorrow. Now, ordinarily i would be in a much better mood considering tomorrow is a day off filled with lots of food. But i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and am feeling pretty down on myself. And the fact that i feel like my house is a mess.  Two things that can really put a big weight on my shoulders. Not sure what changed between yesterday and today-- yesterday was Matt's birthday after all.  But alas, here i am... where do i start?

I guess the first thing i have to be thankful for is this little baby boy that we are anxiously awaiting to meet in just a couple weeks. Although who knows when he will decide to arrive. I am feeling anxious about it every day.... not really thinking about the labor, just more of WHEN will he BE here? I cleaned up my office today at work-- threw out a BUNCH of old papers in anticipation of leaving my office fairly clean in the anticipation. I ran into the big, big boss today on the elevator up to the office and he asked me how many more weeks. I said just over two-- and his response was 'wow- really so any day now!' And THAT, my friends, sounds crazy!!  How quickly and SHORT two weeks can be.... and really it could be less. or more..... but i am really hoping less.

Another thing i am thankful for is my health, my husband's healthy, my family's healthy, and my little pup's health. Although i think he stubbed his nail a couple days ago and he has been baby-ing it the last couple days. Poor little man.  Compared to 2010, this year has been a MUCH healthier year for those closest to me.  I attended WAY more weddings than i did funerals.... and that is a GOOD thing.

I am thankful that i have been able to carry this baby-- relatively problem free- for the last 9 months. Just hope the home stretch goes well. And he arrives safe and healthy.... that would really give me something to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my good friends in my life-- and the ones that have gotten closer to me as the year progressed.  Realizing who those friends are in my life that will matter going forward. Those friends that are honest and caring.... and raw in the truest form. There is nothing to try to be or try to hide, because we are who are and we love each other for it.

I am thankful that i have an incredible husband. Really, my husband is the greatest. And i know i can complain about him sometimes on here, but really when it all boils down he could NOT be any better. He is always helpful, and supportive, and loving, and everything I could possibly need. We have such a great marriage and he makes me happy in every way.   And throughout this pregnancy, I couldn't have hand-picked anyone better than him. He is PERFECT.

I am thankful i have a job, and a good paying one too-- as self-serving as that sounds. Since Matt is losing his job, i am sort of thankful for that in a way... even though i am not sure what I will be thankful for.... but in my heart of hearts i think something good will come of it. Something better... for everyone.  I am thankful for my patience.

I am thankful for those around me who have also gotten pregnant this year. From last year-- not even really having any close friends or relatives-- to this year when not only will there be births, but next year lots more babies and LOTS more pregnancies forthcoming. It's like a new chapter in our lives... and for a bunch of my good friends and family. We all turned the page together, it's exciting to see what's in store, things will be so much different from now on.

I am also thankful for my house, a nice car, and all those material things that have been afforded to me. I know i am lucky.

So with that list, i will end it here. Until next time... Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Thinking about Christmas... and other random thoughts this week.

It seems like every time I update this thing I always seem to comment on how quickly time goes by.  But it sure does feel that way.... where to begin since the last post?

Things have been busy- as usual-- finishing the last touches on the nursery. It's about 95% complete-- minus a few more things to add to a couple walls, and little but of organization from the old 'office' that the room previously was, and that's probably about it.  By demand, here is one of the pictures I snapped last weekend. You can see the bedding and the furniture to give you a feel for what it looks like.

Our good friends J and S had their baby boy last weekend- a baby boy born right on his due date!! She has been my little rock as we have experienced almost our entire pregnancy's together. It's been great, and now that she had her baby i know what is in store for me. I am SO excited for them, and I think about them every day because i cant wait to meet the new little one and talk to S.  I am preparing things at work for my time away, it's surreal to me how little time there is left before the baby gets here. I feel like there is always something i want to get done-- like Christmas shopping and decorating-- but the motivation in that department seems to be lacking quite a bit. It would be nice to be on 'wait-mode' come December without a laundry list of things to do.  Christmas- ordinarily my all time favorite holiday-- seems daunting this year.  I love to feel  Christmas, I love to listen to Christmas music, look at holiday lights, feel cheerful, give great presents, snuggle up to my Christmas tree light.... i love it all. But I feel a little overwhelmed by it this year... and my spirit of giving seems less present. I dont know why that is.... i just want to hangout at home with my new little family of 3 this Christmas and relax by the Christmas tree light. Without a laundry list of things to do, presents to wrap, people to entertain.... i wish i felt differently. Or at least i hope this feeling fades in the next week or so... i guess we will see.

I am overall very happy though, and filled with all kinds of emotions right now. Anxiousness, excitement, curiosity, trepidation, love, appreciation, o the list goes on. I am ever more appreciating those wonderful people in my life-- especially those that have been so supportive and loving throughout this pregnancy. I loved seeing a whole slew of our friends last weekend for J's little party for his MBA, i love seeing my in-laws, or the random breakfast outings with friends at Echo. I love feeling the excitement of those wonderful friends.... it's a great feeling.  I am getting better at losing thoughts of those 'old' friends that are hardly present in my life-- if at all-anymore.  And trying not to let other- not-so-great friends get in the way of my positive and good feelings. It reminds me of those few lesson's i posted about back in March here. Life is too short to waste time with people like that... there just isn't enough time in world for it. Fill yourself with goodness and surround yourself with people that make you better (and visa versa).  Those lesson's need to be taught to others sometimes-- remember that love and trust and two very important pillars in any relationship. Without which, there are better investments for your time....

Until there are other things to discuss...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

One Month and Two Days

One month and two days, that is exactly how far away my due date is. Crazy. That is 4 weeks away. Crazy! I am certainly not wishing the time away,  but it is quickly escaping me.  This past weekend was nice and very productive; we saw Matt's friends J and his gf B up in Mt Adams and ate Teak that night. It was a good kick-start to the weekend of BABY N. Saturday morning we got up and went to a breastfeeding class, then went out to lunch at Red Robin and then went on a HUGE shopping binge for the babe. I clipped every coupon i could find, took all the gift cards and mailers i have received so far, and headed into BuyBuyBaby and Babies R Us to get the rest of the stuff we need for the baby.  The nursery is REALLY coming together. We have stuff on the walls, little things organized in baskets, clothes put away in the drawers, bedding set up, monitors in place... things have taken huge strides forward. We just need to put up a few more things and organize some of the reminisce of the old 'office' and we will be ALL set for baby! I cant believe it. Where has the time gone? Seeing the room all set up has really made me excited.

The rest of the weekend was nice too-- even though Sunday was much slower. We got up early (thanks for clocks changing) and headed to church. It was a great mass, with a baptism-- which seemed so fitting. Fr. Knapp turned to me at one point during the mass, pointed to my belly and said "you're next.' It was such a funny but cool feeling. We love that guy! We of course had to say hi after mass and he was filled with excitement and support for us.  Later that day we met up with C, C and J and ate homemade pasta and meatballs while hanging out and watching football. It really was a FANTASTIC end to the week.

It's amazing how much support and love we have received these last few months. AND SO MUCH HELP! My mother-in-law came down and helped me organize clothes last week, and even gave me a few items to help me organize. My sister-in-law also gave me a good deal of hand me downs so we have lots of cute things for this little guy.  We even have some cute Christmas outfits that are hand-me-downs that I am excited to use!  We have been overwhelmed with generosity. My co-workers G and L want to help me decorate or stencil the nursery, and my sister-in-law has offered to help with any more organization too.  It's amazing. And so uplifting.

Last night we went on a maternity tour of the hospital-- and that was REALLY cool. It was a flash forward into what to expect. We even saw some ADORABLE little babies. Even though we were walking around talking about labor and delivery,  all i could think about was all these new little babies and how excited those people are in all the rooms we passed must feel.  It was kind of like a turning point for me-- not that i wasn't excited before-- but it made me REALLY excited to take home our little guy.  I didn't even think of the stuff that makes me anxious or uncomfortable... all i could think about was holding out little person we created. 

I cant believe only 4 more weeks until the due date.... I cannot believe it....

until next time.