Although this will be a digression from my attempts to maintain a fairly positive blog spot, I have to mention something that continues to get on my nerves. Especially certain incidences recently that make this one of my biggest pet peeves (besides dealing with stupid people), NON-RESPONSIVE people!
First, since we are all well versed with Internet communication (email, chat, instant messages, and the like) and almost all of us have cell phones, getting in touch with people has never been easier. Almost everyone I know who has a cell phone carries it with them everywhere they go. Personally, I feel naked with out my cell/blackberry or some form or communication device with me. And I know I have been known to not always pick up when my phone rings, however, I make it a point to ALWAYS return phone calls. Much like 'the ol' days" where you left messages for people on their telephone answering machines, the dialed person would return the message at his/her earliest convenience. Just the same as it would be very rude to leave a message and get no return phone call back.
Well, now and days it seems far too easy for someone 'not too get the message.' In fact, many have PDAs and phones that receive data to get emails/texts/phone calls INSTANTLY! So the question of someone not receiving the message for 'x' amount of time (out of town, working late, or generally NOT AT HOME) is no longer and excuse for anyone. ANYONE. Heck, I've even seen bums on the street with cell phones in their hands!! Now, there is two faces to this coin; I know that because we can now receive these communication messages all the time now it increases the opportunities for these messages to be screened. I know i dont want to talk on the phone or send an email when i am talking to someone, out to dinner, or doing other things I just don't feel like being bothered. I am definitely OK with leaving messages and waiting for a response. The pet peeve is the not responding. For me, when i know i am busy and cant get back to an email I will send a quick one back to say i am busy, thanks, and ill get back to you as soon as I can. Phone calls, ill send a quick text back saying thanks, ill call you back later.
Now, what is an acceptable amount of time to return the message?
I have no idea? 6 hours? One day? two days? three days is definitely pushing it. When is it acceptable to feel like you are getting blown off?
It bothers me so much, and I cant explain why it gets under my skin as much as it does. It's very possible that I take it too personally; I just imagine someone reading/hearing my message shortly after they receive it and saying to themselves ' o it's donna, this is unimportant to me, ill ignore it.'
Maybe they don't say that.... BUT WHY CANT YOU RESPOND TO ME!?! Am I really asking for that much? SOme of my friends have a free pass when I am just calling to chit-chat and I know they are super busy (and we generally dont talk on a regular basis anyway). Sometime I dont call people back for a few days because I know I want to block out a decent chunk of time for them. But what if I asked you to make plans? or have a simple questions, or require a simple response? What is your excuse??
I wonder about the future, this high speed communication pathway makes it easier in a lot of ways. But do we ever know if the message got delivered? Too often you hear that they never got the message as the excuse. What if there really was a problem with the connection? I just have a hard time believing it because I dont think Ive missed very many messages (that i know of)
4 comments:
Hehe. my mother-in-law always calls her three sons plus us two daughter-in-laws and we are all known to screen her calls. Well one time we were at a family event and she noticed our phones going off like crazy and us answering some (to say happy holiday) or ignoring others and she says, so this is what you do when I call you guys? You see that it's me and you ignore it? We were all frozen silent!
I will be the first to admit that sometimes I screen my calls...sometimes, I don't WANT to talk to someone.
I usually feel guilty and call them back a few days later.
One friend of mine has this problem where she doesn't like to answer her phone. EVER. She invites me to dinner, I call to confirm....no answer. I call the next day....no answer. I call the day after that...NO ANSWER. Ohhhkay. I used to get upset. Then I realized, it's just her, she's mercurial (hormonal really i think) and if she doesn't want to talk it's probably best I don't pursue it cuz it wont go well. I told her "fine, you dont answer and dont call me back, that's cool, i wont get mad...HOWEVER...do not get mad at me if i don't show up somewhere I'm supposed to be."
it works so far.
my pet peeve is when my parents dont answer and dont call back. i get guilted because "you never call" and then when I do call, both cell phones AND the house phone and leave messages on all 3....there's no respone.
bah!
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Meg
i must admit...i screen my calls. my mom calls about 5 times a day. she doesn't leave messages either. that is what frustrates me. calls and calls. and calls. but never a message. drives me nuts.
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