A few weeks ago on my day off I happened to have flipped on Anderson Cooper when Madonna was on the show. I don't usually watch much daytime TV, if any, these days but this one I tuned in to for a while. And one thing that resonated with me was when she said that you really have to believe in what you are doing in life. You have to be passionate about your work- whatever it is that you do-- because finding a good job or something that you love is hard to come by. And there are going to be lots of struggles and battles along the way and you really need to really believe and love it that you are doing and be willing to fight for whatever it is.
So how do you pick what is worth fighting for? How do you know you will love it and have the passion? I am often thinking about the life i want to lead and the kind of mother i want to be, and the actual work that i do. A work, that right now, feels fairly passionless. Work that i do for the money and for the freedoms it gives me outside of the work hours. I would have less freedoms without it, but would my life be better? Ever since having a baby changed my life, it has totally changed my priorities and ambitions. I want to be the best person i can be for my kids, i am one of most important role models for how they will live and shape their life. How do i find a way to be the best person i can be?
Matt and I have talked about him putting in a lot of hours for the company his brother and his dad have built to make it grow. But we don't know how big it will get, there is no way to predict the future. It just seems like you have to make sacrifices to make it work, and they have to come in all different places of your life. I worry that the sacrifices of having a husband working all the time away from the home is one that I cannot live with and sustain. To have to work all day, to keep up with house work and be able to spend time with my child and not to have my husband around to support the effort. I am overwhelmed by the thought. I already can barely keep up with the yard work, cleaning, dishes, grocery shopping, all that needs to be done. But to have to do it alone? Will the trade-off be worth it? I feel envious of SAHMs, of all the things they have time to do, all the things they get done at home WHILE still being able to spend quality time with their babies. But don't they also have a husband they can look forward to seeing at 5:30? How hard will that be? How do you navigate the decision process and how to you feel confident in making one? How do you find the passion and happiness amidst a sea of uncertainty?
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
The list of 101 things
I dont feel like writing much, just dont feel like it. But it has been a while since I re-visited this list. Let's see where we are:
I will put Completed Items in Purple
In NO particular order... here goes: My 101 things!
1) Do more Yoga and get good at it
2) Lose 10 pounds
3) cook more-- learn more healthy recipes
4) Write more letters to my friends - do thank you cards count?
5)Learn more things to do with my hair
6) Start an in-house project
7) Take a cooking class
8) Take a cake decorating class
9) Take a spinning class (i have been too scared to try it)
10) Read more books
11)Travel
12) Have another cookout
13) Go cabining
14) Go to Mammoth Cave
15)Make a Wedding Album *
16) Preserve my wedding Dress
17) Print a mural wedding picture
18) Pull out the large ugly shrubs on the side of my house
19) Re-plant the side of my house
20)Plan a trip to visit my sister
21)Host a dinner party
22) Babysit my nephews more
23)Get more involved with my Church
24) Go to church more frequently
25) Try to recover my old pictures and files from my broken laptop
26)Wear more colors to work (besides varying shades of white, black and grey)
27)Play tennis again
28) Play a game of racquetball
29) Start going to bed earlier
30)Try to keep up with laundry more during the week
31) Blog more frequently
32) Take Odie to the dog park
34)Update my address book
35) Think about buying a new house
37) Go on more dates with my husband- tried to before baby
38) Update my iPod
39)Update my resume
40)Buy window treatments for my dining room
41)Go on more walks
42)buy my Mom flowers
43)Delete old numbers in my cell phone
44) make a home cooked meal for my good friend's family in need
45)Learn to listen better
46) Say Thank you to much husband more
47)Pay off my student loans
48) Take some more time for me
49) Take one big trip with Matt before we have kids
50) Visit my parents more
51)Complain less about work
52) Hang more pictures in my house
53)Clean the garage
54) Go the the Art Museum
55) Go to the Krohn Conservatory
56) Go Apple Picking
57) Go to the pumpkin patch
58) Buy a new pair of Mizunos
59) Organize my inbox at work-- delete more emails
60) Organize my inbox at home-- delete more emails
61)Buy more nail polish
62)Read the news more
Not too bad, it's been SO long since i looked at this, i had to really think back of what i wanted when i created ths list. Boy my life has changed since then....
I will put Completed Items in Purple
In NO particular order... here goes: My 101 things!
1) Do more Yoga and get good at it
2) Lose 10 pounds
3) cook more-- learn more healthy recipes
4) Write more letters to my friends - do thank you cards count?
5)Learn more things to do with my hair
6) Start an in-house project
7) Take a cooking class
8) Take a cake decorating class
9) Take a spinning class (i have been too scared to try it)
10) Read more books
11)Travel
12) Have another cookout
13) Go cabining
14) Go to Mammoth Cave
15)Make a Wedding Album *
16) Preserve my wedding Dress
17) Print a mural wedding picture
18) Pull out the large ugly shrubs on the side of my house
19) Re-plant the side of my house
20)Plan a trip to visit my sister
21)Host a dinner party
22) Babysit my nephews more
23)Get more involved with my Church
24) Go to church more frequently
25) Try to recover my old pictures and files from my broken laptop
26)Wear more colors to work (besides varying shades of white, black and grey)
27)Play tennis again
28) Play a game of racquetball
29) Start going to bed earlier
30)Try to keep up with laundry more during the week
31) Blog more frequently
32) Take Odie to the dog park
34)Update my address book
35) Think about buying a new house
37) Go on more dates with my husband- tried to before baby
38) Update my iPod
39)Update my resume
40)Buy window treatments for my dining room
41)Go on more walks
42)buy my Mom flowers
43)Delete old numbers in my cell phone
44) make a home cooked meal for my good friend's family in need
45)Learn to listen better
46) Say Thank you to much husband more
47)Pay off my student loans
48) Take some more time for me
49) Take one big trip with Matt before we have kids
50) Visit my parents more
51)Complain less about work
52) Hang more pictures in my house
53)Clean the garage
54) Go the the Art Museum
55) Go to the Krohn Conservatory
56) Go Apple Picking
57) Go to the pumpkin patch
58) Buy a new pair of Mizunos
59) Organize my inbox at work-- delete more emails
60) Organize my inbox at home-- delete more emails
61)Buy more nail polish
62)Read the news more
Not too bad, it's been SO long since i looked at this, i had to really think back of what i wanted when i created ths list. Boy my life has changed since then....
Monday, April 2, 2012
Dear Baby Nicholas Month Four
Dear My Sweet Baby Nicholas,
Tomorrow you will be four months old, I cannot believe it! It feels like yesterday I was writing to you at three months. You are sweeter every day and I just LOVE watching you grow. You are now smiling AT us and your smile is worth ten thousands suns because it brightens up everything around you. You love your dad a lot (and I know you love me) but sometimes I will hold you and you see Daddy walk in the room and you look at him and get HUGE smile on your face. You love to listen to him talk because you often have lots to say back.
But o your giggle! Where do I even start. When i am at work and I imagine your laugh I can feel my heart in the bottom of my stomach. I love it so much i can feel the emotion physically. Its the cutest thing, it's all breath like deep inhales and quick exhales... i cant describe because it doesn't do it justice just how absolutely adorable it is. Lots of things make you laugh... other babies, your cousins dancing and jumping around you, singing and dancing with mommy and daddy, so many things. You are quite a personality... sometimes you are quite and content just hanging out with lots of people listening and watching us. Other times you are content but have SO MUCH TO SAY. You certainly interrupt sometimes with your coos and hoos..... but we always stop to listen because it so darn sweet. AND O SO interesting. We tell you that all the time. Yesterday in the car you talked almost the entire 40 minutes up to grandma and grandpa's house.
This month you were Baptized by Father Knapp- the same Priest who married Mommy and Daddy. He thought you were adorable, but the couple times he has seen you, you have been very serious. But that is better than loud and angry. You seem like an agreeable person, you don't mind when other people hold you and you are quite intrigued by other people and the world around you. You loved being in church, you were looking around most of Mass, and you even where singing along to the responsorial psalm. It was hard for me to contain myself it was so cute.
The weather has been spectacular this month, lots of days in the upper 70s and 80s and sunny... very unseasonal for March weather... so we have gotten out a lot. You love to be outside. Sometimes when you get fussy just bringing you outside will calm you down. And i don't mind it one bit, i love to be outside just as much.
Another new development of yours is you have discovered where you mouth is. YOu love to put your hands in there, sometimes both at the same time. You suck on those little hands the the drool just pours out. It's hard to believe how much drool can be generated from such a little person. You go through a LOT of bibs mister. We did recently notice two baby teeth right below your gums in the front-bottom.. they could start popping through in the next month. I am sure they probably don't feel all the great, but you don't appear to be bothered by them much yet. You are a little trooper.
We go to the doctor again next Friday, but at this point you are well over 15 lbs and pretty tall. Your cheeks have filled out and you have a perfectly adorable little round face. I love everything about that little face, your big eyes, your poutty lips, your stubby little nose and perfect ears-- and you have more dark hair than you did just a couple months ago. You are the cutest baby around. Getting cuter by the second.
There is lots more in store for you as the days continue to stay warm and summer approaches. Soon you will be eating real food with us! And we get to enjoy lots of new out door activities like kings island, and maybe even the pool at grandma's and grandpas. I hope we can take swim lessons or some class together this summer just the two of us. I treasure every minute that i get to spend with you like it's gold. Except worth way more to me than a mountain made of gold.
I love you more than you possibly know.
Love,
Mommy
Tomorrow you will be four months old, I cannot believe it! It feels like yesterday I was writing to you at three months. You are sweeter every day and I just LOVE watching you grow. You are now smiling AT us and your smile is worth ten thousands suns because it brightens up everything around you. You love your dad a lot (and I know you love me) but sometimes I will hold you and you see Daddy walk in the room and you look at him and get HUGE smile on your face. You love to listen to him talk because you often have lots to say back.
But o your giggle! Where do I even start. When i am at work and I imagine your laugh I can feel my heart in the bottom of my stomach. I love it so much i can feel the emotion physically. Its the cutest thing, it's all breath like deep inhales and quick exhales... i cant describe because it doesn't do it justice just how absolutely adorable it is. Lots of things make you laugh... other babies, your cousins dancing and jumping around you, singing and dancing with mommy and daddy, so many things. You are quite a personality... sometimes you are quite and content just hanging out with lots of people listening and watching us. Other times you are content but have SO MUCH TO SAY. You certainly interrupt sometimes with your coos and hoos..... but we always stop to listen because it so darn sweet. AND O SO interesting. We tell you that all the time. Yesterday in the car you talked almost the entire 40 minutes up to grandma and grandpa's house.
This month you were Baptized by Father Knapp- the same Priest who married Mommy and Daddy. He thought you were adorable, but the couple times he has seen you, you have been very serious. But that is better than loud and angry. You seem like an agreeable person, you don't mind when other people hold you and you are quite intrigued by other people and the world around you. You loved being in church, you were looking around most of Mass, and you even where singing along to the responsorial psalm. It was hard for me to contain myself it was so cute.
The weather has been spectacular this month, lots of days in the upper 70s and 80s and sunny... very unseasonal for March weather... so we have gotten out a lot. You love to be outside. Sometimes when you get fussy just bringing you outside will calm you down. And i don't mind it one bit, i love to be outside just as much.
Another new development of yours is you have discovered where you mouth is. YOu love to put your hands in there, sometimes both at the same time. You suck on those little hands the the drool just pours out. It's hard to believe how much drool can be generated from such a little person. You go through a LOT of bibs mister. We did recently notice two baby teeth right below your gums in the front-bottom.. they could start popping through in the next month. I am sure they probably don't feel all the great, but you don't appear to be bothered by them much yet. You are a little trooper.
We go to the doctor again next Friday, but at this point you are well over 15 lbs and pretty tall. Your cheeks have filled out and you have a perfectly adorable little round face. I love everything about that little face, your big eyes, your poutty lips, your stubby little nose and perfect ears-- and you have more dark hair than you did just a couple months ago. You are the cutest baby around. Getting cuter by the second.
There is lots more in store for you as the days continue to stay warm and summer approaches. Soon you will be eating real food with us! And we get to enjoy lots of new out door activities like kings island, and maybe even the pool at grandma's and grandpas. I hope we can take swim lessons or some class together this summer just the two of us. I treasure every minute that i get to spend with you like it's gold. Except worth way more to me than a mountain made of gold.
I love you more than you possibly know.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, March 26, 2012
Our little Holy baby
It was a beautiful weekend. This weekend on 3-25-12 we had our little baby boy Baptized at St Xavier Church with the Fr. Knapp who married us. It was beautiful and Nick was the cutest and sweetest little baby of all time. O he was so cute, i think i love him even more after watching him getting showered with all kinds of love this weekend. He was great during Mass too. He was awake almost the entire time. He watched us get him ready without any complaints, and he was all smiles as Matt and I got him in his outfit before church. When we got to Church he was mesmerized by all the people, the singing, all all the ornate decorations the adorned the entire church. One of my favorite parts was hearing Nick kind of sing/coo along with the responsorial psalm during Mass. I sort of wanted to chuckle but had to contain myself:) He got a little fussy before communion and ended up falling asleep-- probably too much to take in at once-- and then was asleep for all our our pictures. But that's OK, rather have a sleepy babe than unhappy one.
We have my all time best friend as the God mother and her, now, fiancee as the God father. They are the perfect people for the job, and they absolutely adore this baby. He is so lucky he is the first to steal so much of their attention. Nick was so perfect that day, all dressed up in a very special outfit wore by Matt and his two brothers when they were baptized. Bought by their Aunt Saucy who passed a couple years ago and was the very matriarch of their family. Nick also wore Matt's 14ct gold baptismal ring his Aunt also bought him when he was a baby, he was beautiful. He had a little white onsie with a cross and white socks with two little crosses on them, and then the personalized shoes given to Nick by my sister-in-law's mother. It was a very special outfit for a very special little boy.
He was a day full of love. Here are a couple pictures from my dad's iphone. I haven't emptied my camera card yet. But here's what we got right now:
We love you, little baby. You are loved by so many.
We have my all time best friend as the God mother and her, now, fiancee as the God father. They are the perfect people for the job, and they absolutely adore this baby. He is so lucky he is the first to steal so much of their attention. Nick was so perfect that day, all dressed up in a very special outfit wore by Matt and his two brothers when they were baptized. Bought by their Aunt Saucy who passed a couple years ago and was the very matriarch of their family. Nick also wore Matt's 14ct gold baptismal ring his Aunt also bought him when he was a baby, he was beautiful. He had a little white onsie with a cross and white socks with two little crosses on them, and then the personalized shoes given to Nick by my sister-in-law's mother. It was a very special outfit for a very special little boy.
He was a day full of love. Here are a couple pictures from my dad's iphone. I haven't emptied my camera card yet. But here's what we got right now:
We love you, little baby. You are loved by so many.
Friday, March 23, 2012
This thing called Motherhood
Work the last couple weeks i have been back has been unbelievably busy. In fact some days i get home and I dont even know how I managed to make it through the day with losing my sanity. There has been so much to do that by the time i look at the clock it's almost time for me to go home. Now, don't get me wrong, i like that the days have gone by so fast. What i don't like is the feeling of running a marathon every day for five days straight and then having to come home and take care of an infant. O ya, and get myself together and fed too. It's a of work. And the whole pumping and storing and cleaning and repeating thing too. Lots MORE work. I am very fortunate to have a good paying job, and right now I am very proud of how successful I made myself being with DoE for six years and now being one of the highest ranked in my entire office... but the trade-off is mind blowing.
I feel this way for many reasons. Mostly because every day really just seems like a trek to get through to the next day. My social life has really gone to the back burner. I used to like getting together during the week for walks with friends, dinners, o ya... and working out. O how i miss spin class. Now? I get home, feed and change my child, some how clean everything for the next day, figure out something for dinner, and all the while trying to savor every last drop of my sweet child before he needs to go to sleep for the night. Lately he goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:30. That is only three, at most four hours with him. It doesnt seem like enough. And he is getting so big so quick, I hate how brief this period is in his life and I am just wading through it.
What is even more mind blowing to me is how much I have changed. I used to think i was a pretty wound up person and very excitable (both to the good and to the bad). Now, not so much. I have relinquished a LOT of control. I still like to keep my house orderly, but i know there are trade-offs. I need to re-prioritize, is having washed floor and dusted cabinets as important to me when my spare time is so limited. Or what about making sure I am raising my child exactly by the books? And believe me i have read TOO much for me not to feel overwhelmed. But i dont. I cannot control whether or not my child is in daycare.... and I cannot control how they care for my child. But i can trust in my decision that I made a good one chosing a highly recommended facility worth every penny you pay for. (and there are lots of penny's). So far my child is healthy, I am doing the best that I can do. And that's how I manage. I manage by knowing I am doing the best I can do with what I can control.
And I think that is a big accomplishment.
Motherhood changes me menally and also physically.... lets get on the topic of caffiene. How about how I havent had hardly any! I dont know how i do it most days. Today, for example, Nick decided to wake up at 4:06am and was unable to comfort himself back to sleep. I got up and fed him and I have a difficult time going back to bed once i am up. So although i was up so early I didnt need any coffee in the morning. Actually, every day since i got back to work I only had one cup of coffee ONCE. And that was the first day because i thought i needed it. It turns out I dont. It's like the little engine inside me got replaced and is a little more fine tuned with the amount of fuel it needs to run these days. Weekends I am up early and trying to get stuff done before Nick wakes up. I always liked being up before nine or ten, but these days its more like six of seven. I just find a way to be productive when I need to be i guess. Wierd.
A lot of these things I could have never predicted about myself. I like my new lifestyle, but i miss some of the freedoms I had before. Especially with my social life, but I am finding my true friends understand and never waver. Some are even having kids of thier own now so we are sharing in the experience. I do wish that I could spend more time with Nick during the week however. I am not sure if this is a little bit of the Grass is Greener mentality, or if i really do wish i could be a SAHM. Most days i do wish i could stay home... it's hard to say bye to him in the mornings. And I have a wierd feeling as i go to work every day... like I am doing this only temporarily. I dont know why i feel that way. I dont know if that is a good or a bad thing. I guess no matter how things work out, it's good not to overburden myself with a mentality that it could be like this for the long haul. It could be a depressing mind set.
I love my little boy more than anything, and I am so optimistic of all the great memories we have waiting for us ahead. He has already given me so many and he isnt even four months old yet. Sometimes when Matt calls me during the day and I hear Nick on the phone my heart just goes pitter patter. Or when I need a little break at work I look at his pictures and I feel my heart at the bottom of my belly. I cant believe how much I love him. He gives me more joy than I could have ever imagined. And what's even more exciting is this is just the start of this little family of ours.
I feel this way for many reasons. Mostly because every day really just seems like a trek to get through to the next day. My social life has really gone to the back burner. I used to like getting together during the week for walks with friends, dinners, o ya... and working out. O how i miss spin class. Now? I get home, feed and change my child, some how clean everything for the next day, figure out something for dinner, and all the while trying to savor every last drop of my sweet child before he needs to go to sleep for the night. Lately he goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:30. That is only three, at most four hours with him. It doesnt seem like enough. And he is getting so big so quick, I hate how brief this period is in his life and I am just wading through it.
What is even more mind blowing to me is how much I have changed. I used to think i was a pretty wound up person and very excitable (both to the good and to the bad). Now, not so much. I have relinquished a LOT of control. I still like to keep my house orderly, but i know there are trade-offs. I need to re-prioritize, is having washed floor and dusted cabinets as important to me when my spare time is so limited. Or what about making sure I am raising my child exactly by the books? And believe me i have read TOO much for me not to feel overwhelmed. But i dont. I cannot control whether or not my child is in daycare.... and I cannot control how they care for my child. But i can trust in my decision that I made a good one chosing a highly recommended facility worth every penny you pay for. (and there are lots of penny's). So far my child is healthy, I am doing the best that I can do. And that's how I manage. I manage by knowing I am doing the best I can do with what I can control.
And I think that is a big accomplishment.
Motherhood changes me menally and also physically.... lets get on the topic of caffiene. How about how I havent had hardly any! I dont know how i do it most days. Today, for example, Nick decided to wake up at 4:06am and was unable to comfort himself back to sleep. I got up and fed him and I have a difficult time going back to bed once i am up. So although i was up so early I didnt need any coffee in the morning. Actually, every day since i got back to work I only had one cup of coffee ONCE. And that was the first day because i thought i needed it. It turns out I dont. It's like the little engine inside me got replaced and is a little more fine tuned with the amount of fuel it needs to run these days. Weekends I am up early and trying to get stuff done before Nick wakes up. I always liked being up before nine or ten, but these days its more like six of seven. I just find a way to be productive when I need to be i guess. Wierd.
A lot of these things I could have never predicted about myself. I like my new lifestyle, but i miss some of the freedoms I had before. Especially with my social life, but I am finding my true friends understand and never waver. Some are even having kids of thier own now so we are sharing in the experience. I do wish that I could spend more time with Nick during the week however. I am not sure if this is a little bit of the Grass is Greener mentality, or if i really do wish i could be a SAHM. Most days i do wish i could stay home... it's hard to say bye to him in the mornings. And I have a wierd feeling as i go to work every day... like I am doing this only temporarily. I dont know why i feel that way. I dont know if that is a good or a bad thing. I guess no matter how things work out, it's good not to overburden myself with a mentality that it could be like this for the long haul. It could be a depressing mind set.
I love my little boy more than anything, and I am so optimistic of all the great memories we have waiting for us ahead. He has already given me so many and he isnt even four months old yet. Sometimes when Matt calls me during the day and I hear Nick on the phone my heart just goes pitter patter. Or when I need a little break at work I look at his pictures and I feel my heart at the bottom of my belly. I cant believe how much I love him. He gives me more joy than I could have ever imagined. And what's even more exciting is this is just the start of this little family of ours.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Busy
I haven't been very good at posting recently... mostly because there is never enough time. I am back at work, in my new job, missing my son terribly. But have been so busy at work it's hard to believe i have been back almost 3 weeks already. It's crazy how quickly the time passes.
Nick is 15 weeks old now and getting cute by the second. I swear, I cant help but just look at him and love how cute he is. He just started putting his hands up to his mouth-- he finally knows where it is-- and he puts them all the way in. Its cute to watch him try to stick both hands in at the same time. But they are so cute and tiny!
We have had some absolutely gorgeous days here and I cant wait to get home and play with him. This weekend is his Christening so there is lots to do before then. Life is very busy for everyone, hopefully when things settle in here at work ill have more time to write. Until next time...
Nick is 15 weeks old now and getting cute by the second. I swear, I cant help but just look at him and love how cute he is. He just started putting his hands up to his mouth-- he finally knows where it is-- and he puts them all the way in. Its cute to watch him try to stick both hands in at the same time. But they are so cute and tiny!
We have had some absolutely gorgeous days here and I cant wait to get home and play with him. This weekend is his Christening so there is lots to do before then. Life is very busy for everyone, hopefully when things settle in here at work ill have more time to write. Until next time...
Friday, March 2, 2012
Month 3, Dear Nicholas
Dear my sweet baby Nicholas,
I cannot believe tomorrow you will be THREE months old. It will have been 13 whole weeks since you arrived and I still cant believe how quickly time has passed. Everyone tells me to enjoy every minute of you, and believe me I am! You are a little angel and I cant get enough of you.... even if you do cry for over an hour straight after I feed you like you did a couple times earlier this week right before bed. But I still love you, yes I do. I cant say I always love your cries, well, or your shrieks, but I do love the many facial expressions you have now. I even love that sad little pouty face you make right before you are about to cry. Oh the little frown and scrunched up face you have just breaks my heart, and when I can I just love to swoop you up and catch ya before the cry comes out.
You have many facial expressions now, and I love to see how you react to things. You are very interested in the world around you now... you LOVE to look around and just take it all in. You have all kinds of impressions of things, and you wear your thoughts clear as day on your face. You have a little quizzical look-- which is different than the confused look-- and then a serious look, and a daydreaming look, and just a content look... and of course, a look when you are fully engaged. And o my, your happy look when we play with you is the best look of them all. We do patty cake with your hands or sing a song and play with your legs, you just LOVE to smile when we do that! Your smiles are HUGE and so beautiful. I am pretty sure that a flash of one of your smiles could cure any of my ailments. And BOY do you have lots to say these days. A couple times this week we went on a walk in the stroller and you chatted and cood for a good half hour. I think you liked the wind on your face and seeing the bright blue sky and the sun. You are SO cute! And your voice is like heaven..... I hope you continue to have lots to say to us-- we love to listen!
You dont have tuned motor skills yet, but the little things you do make us laugh. The last few weeks we are so amused when you throw your legs up in the air when we are ready to change your diaper. You are SO helpful! And you dont really scream at us that much anymore when we do change you, and you never seem to mind when you put your beautiful clean socks plop down into your poop when I am trying to clean you up. You are so funny. Although the blow-out diapers you have had recently are not so funny. I never saw so much poop come from such a little person. And how it can end up half way up your back still mystifies me. I can always tell when it is coming too, you tend to concentrate a little, and then you suck in your tummy and push your little butt out... and there is goes. I know i love you when i think even the farty noises you make amuse me.
You continue to sleep like a little champ now too. And this week since I started back at work, I have been the one to wake you up. And it does break my heart when I turn on the little lamp in your room and rub your sweet little sleeping face to stir you. I dont want to wake the sleeping angel, I could just watch you sleep all night. The tough thing for us now is figuring our your feeding schedule and how much you need each time. This whole pumping and storing thing is new to us, but it's important that you have breast milk so you can have a strong body and mind. I am hoping we will figure all that out soon
I am back to work now, I started just a few days ago and man do i miss you during the day. I have a big picture of you from when you were 6 weeks old right in front of me and I look at it often. During the day you are cared for by Ms Angie and Ms Renee and they are VERY nice ladies. I don't see you during the day but they tell me you have done well the last couple. I bet you find it interesting to watch the other babies around you... and I hope you make a few friends along the way. If I could be home with you I would do it in an instant.... but i am doing my best to see silver lining of daycare. And I pray that you do too. This month hopefully we will fall into a good routine for all of us, and we have lots of great memories as we see all the new things you will start to do. You are getting baptised this month too, so we get to have a little party all in your honor. I am excited for that. I am excited for a lot of things, but I just want to enjoy you every minute of NOW while i can too.
Daddy is bringing you down to visit me at work today so we can have lunch. I cant even tell you how happy i am about that! He just called me to ask me where I want to go.... I guess i should figure that out now. Although I am not sure if i can resist just getting a couple pieces of bread and some mayo and making a Nick sandwich and eating you up whole. Or maybe just your toes.... those are JUST so irresistable! But it's Lent so i cant do that on friday's anyway:)
I love you more and more every day. Every day I dont think I could love you anymore, but somehow more love just squeezes into my heart. Until my next letter to you....
Love always,
Mommy
I cannot believe tomorrow you will be THREE months old. It will have been 13 whole weeks since you arrived and I still cant believe how quickly time has passed. Everyone tells me to enjoy every minute of you, and believe me I am! You are a little angel and I cant get enough of you.... even if you do cry for over an hour straight after I feed you like you did a couple times earlier this week right before bed. But I still love you, yes I do. I cant say I always love your cries, well, or your shrieks, but I do love the many facial expressions you have now. I even love that sad little pouty face you make right before you are about to cry. Oh the little frown and scrunched up face you have just breaks my heart, and when I can I just love to swoop you up and catch ya before the cry comes out.
You have many facial expressions now, and I love to see how you react to things. You are very interested in the world around you now... you LOVE to look around and just take it all in. You have all kinds of impressions of things, and you wear your thoughts clear as day on your face. You have a little quizzical look-- which is different than the confused look-- and then a serious look, and a daydreaming look, and just a content look... and of course, a look when you are fully engaged. And o my, your happy look when we play with you is the best look of them all. We do patty cake with your hands or sing a song and play with your legs, you just LOVE to smile when we do that! Your smiles are HUGE and so beautiful. I am pretty sure that a flash of one of your smiles could cure any of my ailments. And BOY do you have lots to say these days. A couple times this week we went on a walk in the stroller and you chatted and cood for a good half hour. I think you liked the wind on your face and seeing the bright blue sky and the sun. You are SO cute! And your voice is like heaven..... I hope you continue to have lots to say to us-- we love to listen!
You dont have tuned motor skills yet, but the little things you do make us laugh. The last few weeks we are so amused when you throw your legs up in the air when we are ready to change your diaper. You are SO helpful! And you dont really scream at us that much anymore when we do change you, and you never seem to mind when you put your beautiful clean socks plop down into your poop when I am trying to clean you up. You are so funny. Although the blow-out diapers you have had recently are not so funny. I never saw so much poop come from such a little person. And how it can end up half way up your back still mystifies me. I can always tell when it is coming too, you tend to concentrate a little, and then you suck in your tummy and push your little butt out... and there is goes. I know i love you when i think even the farty noises you make amuse me.
You continue to sleep like a little champ now too. And this week since I started back at work, I have been the one to wake you up. And it does break my heart when I turn on the little lamp in your room and rub your sweet little sleeping face to stir you. I dont want to wake the sleeping angel, I could just watch you sleep all night. The tough thing for us now is figuring our your feeding schedule and how much you need each time. This whole pumping and storing thing is new to us, but it's important that you have breast milk so you can have a strong body and mind. I am hoping we will figure all that out soon
I am back to work now, I started just a few days ago and man do i miss you during the day. I have a big picture of you from when you were 6 weeks old right in front of me and I look at it often. During the day you are cared for by Ms Angie and Ms Renee and they are VERY nice ladies. I don't see you during the day but they tell me you have done well the last couple. I bet you find it interesting to watch the other babies around you... and I hope you make a few friends along the way. If I could be home with you I would do it in an instant.... but i am doing my best to see silver lining of daycare. And I pray that you do too. This month hopefully we will fall into a good routine for all of us, and we have lots of great memories as we see all the new things you will start to do. You are getting baptised this month too, so we get to have a little party all in your honor. I am excited for that. I am excited for a lot of things, but I just want to enjoy you every minute of NOW while i can too.
Daddy is bringing you down to visit me at work today so we can have lunch. I cant even tell you how happy i am about that! He just called me to ask me where I want to go.... I guess i should figure that out now. Although I am not sure if i can resist just getting a couple pieces of bread and some mayo and making a Nick sandwich and eating you up whole. Or maybe just your toes.... those are JUST so irresistable! But it's Lent so i cant do that on friday's anyway:)
I love you more and more every day. Every day I dont think I could love you anymore, but somehow more love just squeezes into my heart. Until my next letter to you....
Love always,
Mommy
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