What's the trade -off?

A few weeks ago on my day off I happened to have flipped on Anderson Cooper when Madonna was on the show. I don't usually watch much daytime TV, if any, these days but this one I tuned in to for a while. And one thing that resonated with me was when she said that you really have to believe in what you are doing in life.  You have to be passionate about your work- whatever it is that you do-- because finding a good job or something that you love is hard to come by. And there are going to be lots of struggles and battles along the way and you really need to really believe and love it that you are doing and be willing to fight for whatever it is.

So how do you pick what is worth fighting for? How do you know you will love it and have the passion? I am often thinking about the life i want to lead and the kind of mother i want to be, and the actual work that i do. A work, that right now, feels fairly passionless. Work that i do for the money and for the freedoms it gives me outside of the work hours.  I would have less freedoms without it, but would my life be better? Ever since having a baby changed my life, it has totally changed my priorities and ambitions. I want to be the best person i can be for my kids,  i am one of most important role models for how they will live and shape their life.  How do i find a way to be the best person i can be?

Matt and I have talked about him putting in a lot of hours for the company his brother and his dad have built to make it grow. But we don't know how big it will get, there is no way to predict the future. It just seems like you have to make sacrifices to make it work, and they have to come in all different places of your life.  I worry that the sacrifices of having a husband working all the time away from the home is one that I cannot live with and sustain.   To have to work all day, to keep up with house work and be able to spend time with my child and not to have my husband around to support the effort. I am overwhelmed by the thought.   I already can barely keep up with the yard work, cleaning, dishes, grocery shopping, all that needs to be done. But to have to do it alone? Will the trade-off be worth it? I feel envious of SAHMs, of all the things they have time to do, all the things they get done at home WHILE still being able to spend quality time with their babies. But don't they also have a husband they can look forward to seeing at 5:30? How hard will that be? How do you navigate the decision process and how to you feel confident in making one? How do you find the passion and happiness amidst a sea of uncertainty?