Wedding preparation and the Catholic Church

Today is our first meeting with our priest, Fr. K and I am very excited for some reason. Perhaps excited with anticipation more than anything to see what its going to be like. This is the one time in my life we go through these kind of 'ritualistic' preparation before the wedding. I hear we are taking the 'compatibility inventory' this evening. I have no idea what to expect.

Most of me is not worried at all, I know matt and I are compatible and we have been together long enough that we can answer any question correctly about each other without a second thought. In Matt's head, he thinks the purpose of these meetings are for those couples who are young and clearly have issues with divorce written all over them. I respect the Catholic church for focusing on each couple to guide them in the path away from divorce. Matt's boss was planning a wedding in early june and after his meetings with the priest it was called off. I dont believe they ended their relationship, but the church allowed them to take a step back and wait until they were "a little more ready." I do not believe such case will happen for us, but it hopefully will make us stronger.

I have had a lot of things on my mind,things that may come up in the inventory and thing that may not. Kids, health, wealth, ambition.... deep things i suppose. OF course, nothing negative but things that are important. I am thinking about how different my life is going to be in the next few years now that i going to be married. I know matt wants kids sooner than later-- so i can see us starting a family in the next few years. These last few summers will be the end of an era, an era that allows matt and I to pick up and go whenever we want, be spontaneous, spent money a little more relaxed... these Christmas's coming up will be the last few just the two of us. This phase in my life will be just a small blip in the greater picture. It's wierd to think about.

I worry about our healths, and I try to eat healthy so matt and I can stay strong and live very very long lives. I haven't been sleeping very well at night and I reeally really wished i did. I dont know how to change this. I wake up multiple times every night. The fact that i wake up stresses me out more than actually waking up. I dont feel rested in the morning, in fact i feel worse than had i gotten LESS hours but more consecutive sleep. I am trying SO hard to get into shape for the wedding, working out five days a week (and i have kept it up for over 2 weeks now) but the sleeping issue is holding me back. In fact, when i think about it makes me so angry!

Although overall reflecting upon the Now I am happy. I am really trying to enjoy this time in my life because when i look back everything happens so quick. I cannot wait to have a bigger house, kids running around in the back yard, family vacations with little ones- craft projects, homework help, and all the fun things that get bundled with the package. This is a short time in my life, I am very luck to have what I have.... above all else, I have lots and lots of love in my life. And I am lucky.

three things:
1) I love my fiancee very very much
2) we are so lucky our future in-laws are so 'normal' and love us very much
3) we are blessed with lots of luxuries right now, and lots of good friends