For the Sun, From the Sun, Of the Sun

The past few weeks have been rough-- it's the dreary, grey period of the year... and March has notoriously been my least favorite month of the year. I know it say that every year, and I always try to coveat the statement with the hope that this March will feel different, but it definitely came in like a Lion. I have been struggling emotionally with just a lot of self doubt, insecurities, over all unhappiness with stuff happening at work that has left my glass more the half empty at the end of the day. If seasonal effective disorder really is a thing, you might end up seeing my picture right next to the description in the dictionary. I don't want to undermine the circumstances at work, but had it happened at the different time of the year maybe it wouldn't have felt like a tractor-trailer sized blow to the gut.  A stumble then left me on the floor for days it felt like and the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning was the beautiful, jubilant, incredible faces of my amazing children and supportive husband that I am pretty sure are the very reason I am in existence right now.

But this week. THIS week the sun came out! Literally! There is one pile of snow left in my yard from over a month ago and the SUN WAS out for almost two full days. And it was over 50 degrees. Dare i say almost 60? And the sun and air and warmth felt like a rebirth.  I dont think the earth shifted orbit but it sure felt like it for me, my entire outlook on things changed, my energy level went up, and all of a sudden the greyness I was seeing and feeling became brighter.  I know we are all created by 'star stuff" but boy do I ever appreciate the fact that we are from the sun and it really is a healer of everything.  I am a creature of the sun and it really is comforting to know that even when things feel like they are bad, the sun will always rise again tomorrow. It's always there.  We need the sun, and I need it like I need air to fill my lungs and put the wind in my sails.

Having spent a considerable amount of time outside in the last couple of days, it's been easier to get up in the morning to head to work (when just last week  i could barely move in the morning, all my joints were frozen to the bed). My energy level is higher, my perspective is brighter, I appreciate small things, and I just want to do good like go to starbucks and buy coffee for some stranger. It's amazing the shift I feel, and it is ALL my perspective because the circumstances I am in are very much the same as last week. Just the way I feel about them has changed. Truly it is divine, and there is something about God and wonderment of all that is that really owe it too.

Just yesterday the boys and I played outside with the neighbor girls, and the Nick and Marley were chasing each other throwing snowballs at the each other with no coats on. And then we went on a family walk at the trail by our house, and the boys just run and skipped, and threw sticks in the mud. And Chris was saying HIIIIII to every stranger, dog, thing that came past him. Ugh, it was beautiful. everything about it. I am thankful, I am so blessed,  I am feeling optimistic, and I cant wait to get home and give my boys a hug and kiss and thank them for being perfect. Because they are, everything is just as it should be. Thank GOD for the SUN!