Busy

I haven't been very good at posting recently... mostly because there is never enough time.  I am back at work, in my new job, missing my son terribly. But have been so busy at work it's hard to believe i have been back almost 3 weeks already. It's crazy how quickly the time passes.

Nick is 15 weeks old now and getting cute by the second. I swear, I cant help but just look at him and love how cute he is.  He just started putting his hands up to his mouth-- he finally knows where it is-- and he puts them all the way in. Its cute to watch him try to stick both hands in at the same time. But they are so cute and tiny!

We have had some absolutely gorgeous days here and I cant wait to get home and play with him.  This weekend is his Christening so there is lots to do before then.  Life is very busy for everyone, hopefully when things settle in here at work ill have more time to write. Until next time...

Month 3, Dear Nicholas

Dear my sweet baby Nicholas,

 I cannot believe tomorrow you will be THREE months old. It will have been 13 whole weeks since you arrived and I still cant believe how quickly time has passed. Everyone tells me to enjoy every minute of you, and believe me I am! You are a little angel and I cant get enough of you.... even if you do cry for over an hour straight after I feed you like you did a couple times earlier this week right before bed. But I still love you, yes I do.   I cant say I always love your cries, well, or your shrieks, but I do love the many facial expressions you have now. I even love that sad little pouty face you make right before you are about to cry. Oh the little frown and scrunched up face you have just breaks my heart, and when I can I just love to swoop you up and catch ya before the cry comes out.

You have many facial expressions now, and I love to see how you react to things. You are very interested in the world around you now... you LOVE to look around and just take it all in. You have all kinds of impressions of things, and you wear your thoughts clear as day on your face. You have a little quizzical look-- which is different than the confused look-- and then a serious look, and a daydreaming look, and just a content look... and of course, a look when you are fully engaged. And o my, your happy look when we play with you is the best look of them all. We do patty cake with your hands or sing a song and play with your legs, you just LOVE to smile when we do that! Your smiles are HUGE and so beautiful.  I am pretty sure that a flash of one of your smiles could cure any of my ailments.  And BOY do you have lots to say these days. A couple times this week we went on a walk in the stroller and you chatted and cood for a good half hour. I think you liked the wind on your face and seeing the bright blue sky and the sun. You are SO cute! And your voice is like heaven..... I hope you continue to have lots to say to us-- we love to listen!

You dont have tuned motor skills yet, but the little things you do make us laugh.  The last few weeks we are so amused when you throw your legs up in the air when we are ready to change your diaper. You are SO helpful! And you dont really scream at us that much anymore when we do change you, and you never seem to mind when you put your beautiful clean socks plop down into your poop when I am trying to clean you up. You are so funny.  Although the blow-out diapers you have had recently are not so funny.  I never saw so much poop come from such a little person. And how it can end up half way up your back still mystifies me. I can always tell when it is coming too, you tend to concentrate a little, and then you suck in your tummy and push your little butt out... and there is goes.  I know i love you when i think even the farty noises you make amuse me. 

You continue to sleep like a little champ now too. And this week since I started back at work, I have been the one to wake you up. And it does break my heart when I turn on the little lamp in your room and rub your sweet little sleeping face to stir you.  I dont want to wake the sleeping angel, I could just watch you sleep all night.  The tough thing for us now is figuring our your feeding schedule and how much you need each time. This whole pumping and storing thing is new to us, but it's important that you have breast milk so you can have a strong body and mind. I am hoping we will figure all that out soon

I am back to work now, I started just a few days ago and man do i miss you during the day. I have a big picture of you from when you were 6 weeks old right in front of me and I look at it often. During the day you are cared for by Ms Angie and Ms Renee and they are VERY nice ladies. I don't see you during the day but they tell me you have done well the last couple.  I bet you find it interesting to watch the other babies around you... and I hope you make a few friends along the way. If  I could be home with you I would do it in an instant.... but i am doing my best to see silver lining of daycare. And I pray that you do too.  This month hopefully we will fall into a good routine for all of us, and we have lots of great memories as we see all the new things you will start to do. You are getting baptised this month too, so we get to have a little party all in your honor. I am excited for that.  I am excited for a lot of things, but I just want to enjoy you every minute of NOW while i can too.

Daddy is bringing you down to visit me at work today so we can have lunch. I cant even tell you how happy i am about that!  He just called me to ask me where I want to go.... I guess i should figure that out now. Although I am not sure if i can resist just getting a couple pieces of bread and some mayo and making a Nick sandwich and eating you up whole. Or maybe just your toes.... those are JUST so irresistable! But it's Lent so i cant do that on friday's anyway:)

I love you more and more every day. Every day I dont think I could love you anymore, but somehow more love just squeezes into my heart. Until my next letter to you....

Love always,
Mommy

My little love bug

Bath time

 Six weeks 3 days old

Around 8 weeks...

Dear Baby

Dear Baby Nicholas,

O my how I love you. I cant believe you are already over 10 weeks old, it seems like only yesterday when I held you in my arms just over 6 pounds and hours old. You were so small and fragile... now you are growing into your personality and your own looks. You are the most beautiful baby I have ever laid my eyes on. And the most cuddly. I love that about you. My favorite place in the whole world is snuggled up on my couch with you on my chest sleeping with a blanket over us. I don't think I would want to be anywhere else.

At just over 10 weeks you are in the 60% percentile for weight and about 40% for height. I think you will be tall though.  You are strong too! You can already hold up your body weight on your legs. And you can  roll over from your tummy to your back... but you have been able to do that since you were just over 5 weeks old. You are already over achieving.   You are the happiest baby in the morning, throwing smiles at us all over the place. I cant wait to discover what will make you giggle. I hope i figure it out soon.  One thing that consistently intrigues you are the curtains in our living room... we always catch you staring up at them. I am pretty sure I caught you smiling at them once too. YOu like ceiling fans, but nearly as much as those curtains! We can always calm you down during bath time, but just now you are getting used to get OUT of the bath. YOu don't splash around yet, but when you figure it out you can i am sure you will love the bath even more.

You continue to amaze us by how much you are learning, growing and changing every day. I am still shocked by your hair. I remember being surprised by how much hair you had when you came out, but then you lost a lot of it, and now it's growing so quick on the top of your head. And boy have your cheeks filled in, you have the cutest baby face. And the sweetest lips. You used to be able to make your lips so small.... like you were really concentrating. I always wondered which side of the family those little lips of your came from. Lots of people say you look like daddy. And cute as a button.

In just two weeks I have to go back to work... after getting to spend 12 whole weeks with you. These have been the best weeks of my whole life. A taste of being a stay at home mom is such s tease, I wish i could be with you all day every day. You are so much fun to be around, sometimes i could just stare at you. I cant get enough. It makes me so sad that I have to leave you, and I pray every day that you will thrive in daycare. Please do that for me so i don't feel so bad about it.  I will do my very best to make the most of the time I do get to spend with you.... because I want you to grow into an even more beautiful person that you already are.
I love you lots and lots.

Love always,
Mommy

Parenting

I cant believe in just a couple days baby N will be an entire month old. It's crazy to think about how quickly time is passing, even though the first couple weeks we couldn't have felt more turbulence of the incredibly steep learning curve. But every day is a little easier, although each day is different from the last. I already cant imagine leaving him to go back to work. Gosh we love him so much.... our little bundle of joy, stress, love, sleeplessness, newness, awesomeness.... words cant begin to describe it all.

I am especially thankful for all the visitors we have had in the first month.... i cant forget, even though i didn't take pictures of everyone. Theresa, Lauren and ken (lauren twice!), Jessie, Andi, Faith, Chris, Ben and Andrea, my parents, matt's family, Elizabeth, Marisa, my friends are amazing.  I need to take more pictures, so i can remember.... too soon i will look back and wish to have the days back.

Hope you and yours had a merry christmas. And a very happy new year!

He arrived

I am waiting on the pictures from his first days, but he came on December 3, 2011. 8:40am, 6 pounds 9.6 oz, 19 inches long. And full of cuteness.

Day Before Thanksgiving Post

As I sit at work counting down the hours until i get to go home since no one is in the office, i figure i might as well continue what i started here by writing down those things i am thankful for as Thanksgiving approaches tomorrow. Now, ordinarily i would be in a much better mood considering tomorrow is a day off filled with lots of food. But i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and am feeling pretty down on myself. And the fact that i feel like my house is a mess.  Two things that can really put a big weight on my shoulders. Not sure what changed between yesterday and today-- yesterday was Matt's birthday after all.  But alas, here i am... where do i start?

I guess the first thing i have to be thankful for is this little baby boy that we are anxiously awaiting to meet in just a couple weeks. Although who knows when he will decide to arrive. I am feeling anxious about it every day.... not really thinking about the labor, just more of WHEN will he BE here? I cleaned up my office today at work-- threw out a BUNCH of old papers in anticipation of leaving my office fairly clean in the anticipation. I ran into the big, big boss today on the elevator up to the office and he asked me how many more weeks. I said just over two-- and his response was 'wow- really so any day now!' And THAT, my friends, sounds crazy!!  How quickly and SHORT two weeks can be.... and really it could be less. or more..... but i am really hoping less.

Another thing i am thankful for is my health, my husband's healthy, my family's healthy, and my little pup's health. Although i think he stubbed his nail a couple days ago and he has been baby-ing it the last couple days. Poor little man.  Compared to 2010, this year has been a MUCH healthier year for those closest to me.  I attended WAY more weddings than i did funerals.... and that is a GOOD thing.

I am thankful that i have been able to carry this baby-- relatively problem free- for the last 9 months. Just hope the home stretch goes well. And he arrives safe and healthy.... that would really give me something to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my good friends in my life-- and the ones that have gotten closer to me as the year progressed.  Realizing who those friends are in my life that will matter going forward. Those friends that are honest and caring.... and raw in the truest form. There is nothing to try to be or try to hide, because we are who are and we love each other for it.

I am thankful that i have an incredible husband. Really, my husband is the greatest. And i know i can complain about him sometimes on here, but really when it all boils down he could NOT be any better. He is always helpful, and supportive, and loving, and everything I could possibly need. We have such a great marriage and he makes me happy in every way.   And throughout this pregnancy, I couldn't have hand-picked anyone better than him. He is PERFECT.

I am thankful i have a job, and a good paying one too-- as self-serving as that sounds. Since Matt is losing his job, i am sort of thankful for that in a way... even though i am not sure what I will be thankful for.... but in my heart of hearts i think something good will come of it. Something better... for everyone.  I am thankful for my patience.

I am thankful for those around me who have also gotten pregnant this year. From last year-- not even really having any close friends or relatives-- to this year when not only will there be births, but next year lots more babies and LOTS more pregnancies forthcoming. It's like a new chapter in our lives... and for a bunch of my good friends and family. We all turned the page together, it's exciting to see what's in store, things will be so much different from now on.

I am also thankful for my house, a nice car, and all those material things that have been afforded to me. I know i am lucky.

So with that list, i will end it here. Until next time... Happy Thanksgiving!