It's been a while

So i tried to get to this web page this morning to write a few things but it was blocked. If my work IT folks but a block on this page I have a sad feelings that my updates will be much fewer and farther between (than they already are). I really hope that doesnt happen, I want to write more. It's been a while since i have posted, it mostly because I wanted to write about wedding stuff but it almost feels like I didnt know where to start. Plus, i didnt have a lot of pictures to share. And probably most of all, it felt like the wedding happened and then quickly after we whisked away to Hawaii and had so much to do and see it was like the wedding was a distant event, didnt it really even happen? On top of this, the whole day was so blurry really. I know i remember so many moments, and i piece it all together, it's almost hard to figure out how it all went. What do i say and where do i start?

It sounds so selfish but i got the most out of hearing what people had to tell me about it. Really, because it was a chance for me to step back and see how it really went. And it sounds like all the guest loved it. I suppose they wouldn't tell me they didn't like anything, but i have been hearing a lot of great things from my friends and family. About the food, the big band, the church, my dress, everything really. Apparently it all went off without a hitch. Of course, as the bride, i could tell you a couple things that didnt go as planned, but overall apparently it was great!! And looking at my friend's and family's pictures it really brought a whole bunch a memories about how it really was!! And it was one of the best days! I was so happy and in the pictures I seem to have been just beaming. And my bridesmaids. O my bridesmaids-- they all looked UNBELIEVABLE!!! I think they all looked one of the prettiest ever. I couldn't have been standing next to better people. And they were all rocks for me that morning, and the weeks leading up to it. And always willing to help with anything. And matt was adorable, and loving, and perfect as always. I will get some of my professional pictures in the next few weeks. When i got those I will post and write a full recap.

Life has remained busy now that is it post-wedding. But enjoyable because now there are no deadlines, no stress, we can just enjoy each other. We have slowed our lives, ive wanted to hang some pictures and organize the office some, but we havent really gotten to that stuff since before the wedding. There has, of course, been some administrative stuff surrounding marriage that has occupied us. Changing my name, and the name on all my accounts, insurance, beneficiaries, etc. It's been bearable though. We've been spending lots of time together every evening, especially now that we started watching Lost now too. We went camping with some friends this weekend that was a breath of fresh air. Literally and figuratively. We are catching back up and married life it so good.

There have been a couple interesting occurrences. One specifically last night. When we called Duke Energy to come out to see if we had a gas leak in one of our lines downstairs. Turns out nothing significant downstairs, except our gas stove had a major leak. They turned the gas off to it and it's not usable until the regulator is replaced. Hopefully it's only the regulator. We are going ot get that fixed very soon hopefully. Having the Gas and Electric company come out at 8pm on a Sunday night to sniff around with a detector always makes for an eventful evening. Life is perfect right now though. Ill write more soon hopefully.

IM BACKK!!!!! Quick wedding update but not much else

Today is my first day back at work from the BEST honeymoon in hawaii and the most beutifully perfect wedding i could have ever asked for!!! Wow, it seems like it happened in a blink of an eye, i barely remember the details and the little things and all the magical moments that seems to pass so quickly. It was truely the best day.

I dont have much time, i already have a huge and pressing deadline today at work, i cant believe it. I just wanted a quiet day to catch up. But here are a few candid snapshots i pulled from facebook this morning of the wedding. Ill post some professional pictures once i get them, i CANNOT wait to see those.

Ill post more details about the wedding and honeymoon soon... until then:

The Final Count Down

dun duh dun dun.... dun dun dun dun duh dun.....

Matt would appreciate that, he loves that song. I've been wanting to post about the absolute chaos thas is my life right now. WOw. who knew i could be this utterly busy? Thank god for great friends, and awwwesome family, i think i would be crying in a corner right now. The last minute wedding to-do list is the least fun, and MOVING is the LEEEASt LEAST fun! Packing, trying to organize, packing... car load after car load of everything i have accumulated in my apartment to make it 'mine.' Without my stuff there is it no longer my home, and it is the only home I have known while living in in Cincinnati.

It will be a little sad for me to leave-- although I am beyond excited to have a house with my little family in two weeks. However, I would be remise if i didnt mention all the good memories that apartment has given me. All the Christmas trees I have bought and decorated with Matt. The parties I had, movies i watched with my friends, boyfriend-- now fiancee, all the meals ive cooked in that cramped little kitchen... and all the meals i've TRIED to cook. Ill miss running by the river, i wont have the luxury of convenience to take that nice stroll down the RiverWalk anymore, or have tons of restaurants in Newport right across the way. I wont be able to sip free coffee and cookies when i head out the door in the morning, or peruse OLP's movie collection on tiresome Friday nights. And this morning, what I think i might miss more than anything, is the small group of regular shuttle riders in the morning. And Michael, the shuttle driver. Riding that shuttle is something i did every morning for a looong time, a little part of my routine, and I love those 10 minutes every day. Really, i did. Saying goodbye this morning as i said this was my last shuttle was sad for everyone I think. And they all said they would miss me, and it has been a pleasure over the last few years. Michael invited me as his personal guest next year for the fireworks if i decide to come back. What an incredible person he is.

I do feel a little melancholy when i realize this period in my life is ending, but I must say that thought of having a little family in that adorable house on Marburg Avenue beyond fills up my heart with excitement, in fact i am smiling as i write about it. I cant wait to decorate and make that little house my home. And I think about decorating for fall and halloween, and the Christmas Tree and DECORATING FOR CHRISTMAS!! O that thought of that makes me SO UNBELIEVABLY EXCITED!!! I am going to have a lot, LOT of good memories in that house. And I cant wait to start!!

As i pack up the trailor on Saturday, the end of single, downtown living ends and the official transition begins....16 more days until i am MARRIED!!!

PMP I am!

I PASSED!!!! The test that has consumed my spare time for a VERY long time, I am SO sick that i was thinking about studying when i have a HUGE plate of other and very pressing things going on. including that little thing that is, uhem, MY WEDDING! Which is 23 days away!!!!! I CANNOT believe it! But,
I PASSED!!!!

Last night i went out to dinner and drinks with K, K and J and it was WONDERFUL!! I couldnt have had a better night celebrating, they are great friends:) yummy wine, food, o ya, a free round of wine from the waiter:)

This weekend is certainly going to be busy with my parents in town, meetings with the caterer, seamstress, and a party for the RiverFest. I cant believe I am going to moving out. It hasnt hit me yet. I seriously need to start packing. And the wedding to-do list.... aaaaah!

Lots going on, BUT I AM SO RELIEVED AND HAPPY that test is O-V-E-R!! I love fall, I love September. I AM GETTING MARRIED THIS MONTH!!!!!

Busy life as a Bachelorette

I have been struggling to find time to write about whats going on in my life. Mostly because I have been so busy with what's going on in my life I cant really sort out and prioritize what I should be doing first no less think about how I can write about it. Aside from my head being crazy full, today is the first day I woke up for work and not felt like i got run over by a bus. And i mean that in probably as literal as possible since I have been a COMPLETE WASTE both at work and out of work. UNBELIEVABLY TIRED and lacking motivation, and also lacking the ability to formulate complete sentences. Honestly, i thought i should go to the doctor to get tested for mono because I dont ever remember feeling so lethargic and exhausted-- and for such a prolonged period. Yes, prolonged.... a whopping 3 days. Big whoop, right?

I have to thank my loving friends for throwing me an AWESOME bachelorette party this weekend in which i stayed up later than i ever have in the past 2-3 years. UP late and I dont sleep in much anymore... leaving me one tired and off balanced girl. Friday night I didnt go to bed until after 3am since my sister's flight was cancelled and she was routed to Louiville at midnight. I work up around 9:30 on Saturday morning and on Saturday night i went to bed after 4am. Yes, 4am!

Get out of denial, Donna, You-are-not-in-college-anymore.

But gosh was it neat to have ALL my best girlfriends in ONE room. We rented a SAWEET hotel room at the hyatt and E, C and D all got stuff ready to have chocolate, wine and cheese. E, C, and D were like little angels, they helped SO much. In fact, they blew me away by how much time and $$ they spent on this night. I am almost feeling bad about it since they just went ABOVE and BEYOND what I could have ever asked them to do. It was extra special to be able to spend extra time with them this weekend, we rarely all get to see each other. We are all sisters who have an unbelievably strong bond. I just love them.

The night in general was just awesome, it was awesome to have so many great people with me. In fact, i kept thinking that night that this will probably be the last time that this exact group of girls will all be together in one room like this. We went out to a really fun dinner, J brought a yummy cake to eat after dinner back at the hotel, and then we all hit the bars. We stayed up really late. And after we got back and all went to bed, P and I chatted together for another hour at least. It was one of the chats that dont get to happen very often because rarely do we have uninterrupted time together just the two of us. It was a great night. A night i will remember for a long looong time.

All of Sunday i felt totally out of it and a complete waste, and my work week has been odd since i cant seem to get my head in the game. Plus, i need to be studying some more this week for the PMP certification test i take a week from today. SO much going on. And i feel like i have stuff going on after work so many nights. O ya, and i have to start packing up my apartment soon. O my so much to do.

But life is hella good right now.

Here a some highlights from the rockin night on Saturday.

A picture i love my sister snapped-- all of the girls walking to dinner

Everyone in the hotel room

Dinner at Blackfinn

100th Post

wow. That sure seems like a big number. I have been expecting this number and have been brewing over something good to write about for this very anti-climatic milestone. What is worthy in a 100th post? Maybe i should take this time, now 100 posts in, to think about what direction i want to take this little blog-o-mine. What do I really want to consider it? It really has no sense of cogency, it has no theme, no direction, and really- i am not that good of a writer either. What is the point?

The more the entries add up am i really going to look back through them and read what i thought on some specific day. Even my 'deepest' thoughts are still rather shallow and normally fleeting. I dont think I necessarily have any lessons to share with the world, and there is a very very small percentage of that world that would stumble on this web page anyway. I have done very little publicizing of it, perhaps subconsciously i would rather keep it diary-esque? I really have no idea. What is the point.

Perhaps these thoughts about this little blog-o-mine are symbolic of this greater feeling about my life in general. At this very not-so-ripe age of 26 what have i really done? Sometimes the greatest story tellers are those that have gone through hardships or have lived a reeeally, really long life before them and have something to share. I cant quite relate. And I really don't think someone needs to experience something grand and great, or heart wrentching and disastrous, to have something so say to world. OR let me rephrase that, to have something to say that has any value or meaning.

When I was in college i lead a retreat with a team of 20 other wonderful people. The name of it was Metanoia which means "change of heart." It was great to be a participant, but even better leading it because you got to experience and see the feeling the other participants had during their journey. It was so rewarding to be a part of. One of lessons i took away from it was the idea that everyone has a story. It's always been so easy to judge people, or write people off, or forget somone, or something relational when everyone has a story. 'This person is quiet and shy for a reason, they shouldn't be forgotten. Or this person may seem all bubbly and nice but actually are heartbreaking inside because of something that has happened to them personally.' The scenarios like this are endless. Everyone has a story and it is our job as people of community to learn about each person and learn their story. You, too, have something to teach someone. And often you dont even realize it.

This is a great take-away and too often i forget this lesson. More often than not i am looking for a another Metanoia of my own. Especially right now when I feel overwhelmed with my job, wedding planning, trying to get out of a gym membership, o the endless to-do list.... I need a change of heart. It's like I am searching for something to give outwardly which i think will in turn help me inwardly. As i well know about myself, what others feel and think about me is very effective on my mood. I know this because when i am around certain wonderful friends I come home feeling like the top of the world and how happy and included and loved and comfortable i am. And other times, like last night with other sets of friends, i feel a little drained and over worked. It's a strange feeling that I dont feel like dissecting right now. But at the very core is ME. I am the one stagnant variable. I am the control. And i am IN CONTROL.

As i go my way of life I am going to learn that i don't need a Metanoia to necessarily cope better with overwhelming situations. Who and what I am is something that I need to love inside and out from INSIDE myself. And in the very special and unique time in my life right before i get married, i need to step back and enjoy it. And NOT get overcome by the minutia of it all. This time in my life is short lived and must be enjoyed.

The book I am reading right now the author talks about the calm inside yourself. And to think of the world like a spinning wheel. It's chaotic on the outside, things are changing and happening to you every minute every day that can consume your thoughts. The outside is spinning very fast while the center is slow and barely turning. And in that center is ME. My heart. ANd to take solace in my heart when life is chaotic. I accept those thoughts that make me sad or happy or stressed or disgruntled, accept them and move on.

I have to end on an up note, since i dont want to re-read this post in the future and think I am in a bad place right now. I am not, in fact i know i am in one of the best places right now. And physically whatever place i stand doesnt matter because this happy place in within. Because my heart is full of love, I have a lot of love around me to keep pouring into it, and I am just beginning this journey in my life that will only get better. I haven't even seen the half of it.... and I am buckled in for the best ride of my life.

Day by Day

I know I have said this like a thousand times over the past few months, by MY GOD I AM SO BUSY!!! I cant seem to catch my breath. It's like every week night i have 2-4 things going on and have a long list of to-do's, and no time for any of them. On top of busy, BUSY weekends. I suppose i shouldnt be complaining, really all things going on a good things the involve my friends, wedding planning, family, etc. But I am having a hard time catching my breath. It's like i just need time to slow down so i can pick my feet back up and re-start my pace.

This past week Ive been busy but really happy about what i've been getting into. Lets start with thursday afternoon. I decided to take the day off work and meet my mom in Columbus to get some wedding stuff done, to get away, and to spend a little time with her. Of course, we got NOTHING accomplished, but it was so so nice being able to spend the time with her. That night matt and I took Art B. over to the levee... for the first time! Let me tell you about this old man named Art. He has lived in my building for about 3 years, he is always by himself, he is in a wheel chair, he is always sitting in the lobby waiting to spark a conversation with someone, did i mention he is always by himself? Well, he is actually married but apparently she doesnt spend ANY time with him. This mans looks at Newport across the river EVERY DAY from his apartment and has never been the 1/2 mile over there. UNBELIEVABLE! This poor man, he is clearly lonely. So in a little off-the-cuff conversation i had i told him i would take him to the levee one of these days. And that day happened to be last Thursday. Which we also would find out that it was the day before his 72nd birthday. Anotehr birthday in which he had NO PLANS. He couldnt even rememeber the last present he got from his wife, he couldnt remember the last time he had such a nice time. It really just broke my heart. We decided to take him to a nice dinner at Brio and treat him for his birthday. He wanted to pay but it was clear he has NO money to spend. Perhaps his wife controls all thier money. This was made even clearer when we went in a little shop to waste time and he wanted to buy a little momento or something. He looked and looked and the only thing that he ended up buying was a drink stirrer for .79 cents. ONE stirrer. As he was going back up to his apartment he said how it was one of the nicests evenings he has had in a long, long time..... I am so glad we did that.

Friday night Matt and I went over his friend's B and A to have dinner. They are such a nice couple and truly good friends of Matt's. They cooked up a delighful dinner and then we went over to A's parents house to pick out our wedding present. Her dad is going to custom make us a stained glass piece. What a cool present, isnt it?! It will definitely be something we will have for a very, VERY long time. Afterwards we went back to thier house and player cranium until one in the morning just laughting and laughing and it was SUCH a wonderful night.

Saturday we got up early and made a trip to kroger and up to DAyton to go canoeing the entire day and then have a cookout at D's house. ALL day in the hot sun and didnt get burned bur ENTIRELY bruised-up instead. It was a lot of fun, and the cookout was always fun, and ALWAYS hanging out with that group of friends is delightfully refreshing. No drama, we all get along so well, we are so close to each other, and it always just makes me feel so good that I really do have such wonderful friends in this world. These past two nights were just soooooo nice. And since i havent seen some of them in a few weeks they didnt forget my birtday and gave me some presents. I-was-so-touched. Gosh. I just love them!

Yesterday Matt and I went out to lunch at Habeneros and then to his parents house so we could all leave together for a funeral. Which was chaotic, but i helped Matt's mom with the rehearsal dinner invites-- which are so beautiful-- and then went out to dinner. It was a little chaotic. But it ended the weekend on a high note.

This week i have so much to do.And next week is going to be worse. I am taking a PMP bootcamp class and then eventually i have to take the certification test. O my god does that stress me out. The thought of studying and being stressed to take a test... a test that if i fail it will be public, and if i have to re-take it i will have to pay the 2000 or 1500 dollars that is costs. Oy.

Day by day is my mantra, i need to get through today first. I need to slow down and take deep breaths. When i look back on this time i will have no idea what it is that is worrying me or keeping me up at night. It all really doesnt matter that much in the end. I am working on this. Slowely i am working on quieting my mind and taking each day as it comes.

Until i write again....