I am rather unmotivated at work today, although I am swamped with stuff on my to-do list. We are amidst Spring Budget Formulation so I am usually the lead on this with practically my entire team on some combination or work related travel, annual leave or temporary duty. But id rather be busy than bored.
None the less, my blog is neglected and I feel compelled to pay it some attention.
Now what do i have to say?
I know i have been struggling over the past year over what to share on here and what not to, based on the nature of whats going in my life and the privacy of those involved. In any case whatever is posted on here, I am realizing is that i have been learning all kinds of lessons. No one chooses to be involved in stressful, tough situations; people chose money, beauty, power, etc.... people don't choose character development. That is last on the list. I know i cant hold up my vision of the world 2+ years ago right next to my vision of the world today and compare the two. But i do know the two views are very different. The landscape is bigger, the colors are a little more vibrant, i have picked up on details that i never noticed, and some things in the perspective have picked up new meaning to me.
I also know that the time seems to go so much faster; it's funny that you always hear from grandparents your entire childhood that time goes quicker as you get older... but i never though i would feel it in my twenties. I mean the days and weeks go so quick, where does the time go? I do need to remind myself to slow down a lot, and it's a tough thing to remember....
A lot of the little things that used to wind me up no longer bother me. Things in my head involving my friends used to eat away at my heart, problems outside my control used to make me so nervous, I started letting go of things i have held on to and stressed about for way longer than need be. My faith has played a big role, as well as the incredible people that are in my life.
Now, i don't think anything that has been happening my life has been notably catastrophic.... it's just the stuff of life; there are ups and there are downs. I mean all i need to do it think about the Haiti disaster over a year ago and now the tsunami in Japan a couple weeks ago-- devastation that just seems inconceivable. Suffering that you cannot physically wrap your mind around unless you are actually living it. How precious life is and disasters like this DO happen..... my heart just fills up emotion.
But to bring things back to the daily level, i am learning to appreciate these every day lessons. And i am cherishing the really, really good days. Like spending J's birthday with her and A last night. Going to the dari bar, laughing, sharing, being there fore each other. Or even listening to a friend cry on the phone and feeling in my heart she will be OK and this is what true friendship is. Or hearing such extreme happiness in my Mom's voice yesterday over the phone, and having her tell me how much she cant wait to give me a hug. Its the moments you don't really remember later but the feelings you don't shake.
Until next time....
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Quick update.
I haven't posted in a while.... mainly for lack of content i am willing to share. However, the good news is things are finally starting to look up. And the best part, we have a brief peak into spring this week. Windows open, sun shining, birds chirping in the morning. O ya, and longer days! The sun isn't setting until well after 7, almost 8 now..... These things make me happy.
IN other news, my joy right now being spinning classes, i finally broke down and brought a heart rate monitor. AND it is AWESOME! I can finally track to see what zone i am working in during the ride, check to see it it hit my 90th percent heart rate zone, and see how many calories i am burning. Yesterday;s class was the first class and i loved it. Although i was surprised that didn't burn as many calories as i would have thought, only 452. Which doesn't really seem like a whole lot.... but i guess we'll see if it changes depending on the kind of ride we have.
March is almost over, i cant believe it's the 22nd. Last week we celebrated Odie McPoderson's 6th birthday on the 15th. Happy birthday, little man! Next weekend i might be able to see my family again! In a more relaxed setting (a very happy thing), and before i know it April is right around the corner.
Our lilies have started to come up around our house. I AM ready for the cold to be behind me!
Until next time....
IN other news, my joy right now being spinning classes, i finally broke down and brought a heart rate monitor. AND it is AWESOME! I can finally track to see what zone i am working in during the ride, check to see it it hit my 90th percent heart rate zone, and see how many calories i am burning. Yesterday;s class was the first class and i loved it. Although i was surprised that didn't burn as many calories as i would have thought, only 452. Which doesn't really seem like a whole lot.... but i guess we'll see if it changes depending on the kind of ride we have.
March is almost over, i cant believe it's the 22nd. Last week we celebrated Odie McPoderson's 6th birthday on the 15th. Happy birthday, little man! Next weekend i might be able to see my family again! In a more relaxed setting (a very happy thing), and before i know it April is right around the corner.
Our lilies have started to come up around our house. I AM ready for the cold to be behind me!
Until next time....
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
No Title
Its fascinating that the more we understand about the mind, the more we learn that we don't understand it. I say this because as i go through this hopefully brief section of my life, I am gaining an ever growing appreciation for a healthy life style and a healthy mind. The past week or so dealing with one of life's many curve balls, has really brought a lot of issues in my own life to light. I thought what i went through last year in June with one of my best friends was one of the hardest things to deal with and understand, but i guess that experience was just preparing me for this past week. And although i cannot go into detail for my family's privacy, i think i have a lot of lessons to learn that i don't need to be so cryptic about.
1). Relationships are important and no matter what you are going through in life, the relationships that have real value are the ones that can withstand anything.
2) It's important to be honest with yourself and others. When you think you need to be secretive about something you should re-evaluate what you are really doing.
3). The stress you have in your life is normal, but understanding the problem that stressed you out AS WELL AS the stress you have really are two problems that need to be delt with. The ladder being the most important.
4) Family comes first, there will be no other people as important as family.
A very small handful of people in my life know about the 'curve ball' that my family is dealing with right now. But it's a little gift to feel the happiness remembering that the people that do know are indispensable in my life. And in my family's life.
And that it's important to take care of yourself above all else.
** this post my have not made much sense, i am very tired and exhausted writing it.... but felt it was worth posting.
1). Relationships are important and no matter what you are going through in life, the relationships that have real value are the ones that can withstand anything.
2) It's important to be honest with yourself and others. When you think you need to be secretive about something you should re-evaluate what you are really doing.
3). The stress you have in your life is normal, but understanding the problem that stressed you out AS WELL AS the stress you have really are two problems that need to be delt with. The ladder being the most important.
4) Family comes first, there will be no other people as important as family.
A very small handful of people in my life know about the 'curve ball' that my family is dealing with right now. But it's a little gift to feel the happiness remembering that the people that do know are indispensable in my life. And in my family's life.
And that it's important to take care of yourself above all else.
** this post my have not made much sense, i am very tired and exhausted writing it.... but felt it was worth posting.
Friday, February 18, 2011
A brief peak into spring
I havent written in a long time, I havent had much motivation and i really dont have much motivation right now either. But it's been a full month so i figured i say something. Although a lot has been happening on the work front- ups and downs-- the best thing happening right now is the weather. I am looking out my office window, somewhat smelling the fresh flowers i inherited from my coworkers from valentines day, and enjoying the sunshine knowing it;s over 60 degrees outside right now. Now i know winter isn't over yet, but this is a much, MUCH needed relief from the cold and gloom.
I finally caught some sort of cold that seems to be developing since last night. I went to my coworker's, L's, gym last night to her workout class, lifted some weights and today i feel stuffy and weak. Hopefully i am only weak due to the weight lifting and not something flu oriented. But i must say i have resisted the multiple ailments matt's entire family has gotten over the last month. Every time i see them someone is sick, or throwing up, or sneezing, or oozing some sort of mucus. TOo much information?
Hopefully whatever i have passes quickly.
I am going out of town for work next week for a few days.
Not too much planned this weekend besides helping M move and seeing my parents. But i need to savor the free time because March is looking busy. And once April comes and goes May has no free time whatsoever. But i got to live each day, day by day.
I finally caught some sort of cold that seems to be developing since last night. I went to my coworker's, L's, gym last night to her workout class, lifted some weights and today i feel stuffy and weak. Hopefully i am only weak due to the weight lifting and not something flu oriented. But i must say i have resisted the multiple ailments matt's entire family has gotten over the last month. Every time i see them someone is sick, or throwing up, or sneezing, or oozing some sort of mucus. TOo much information?
Hopefully whatever i have passes quickly.
I am going out of town for work next week for a few days.
Not too much planned this weekend besides helping M move and seeing my parents. But i need to savor the free time because March is looking busy. And once April comes and goes May has no free time whatsoever. But i got to live each day, day by day.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Mid month overview...
I had a four day weekend and I am back to work today. I should be thrilled to start the week on a Tuesday but alas i am only more tired and less motivated than ever. I haven't posted in a while so let me recap some of the highlights of this month to far....
- Girls dinner at champs with J and S to meet up and catch up
- Pizza night with E, C, J, C and hanging out
- Hanging out wht B and A for dinner at their house
-Spending time with my sister in law and watching my Godson climb up the slide and down the slide all by himself
-Going to spinning classes
- Meeting up with my parents and having good conversation with a good dinner in Columbus
-The first book club meeting
-Trying out our new juicer for the first time with tangerines and apples
Things i am looking forward to this month:
-Seeing my best friend next weekend
-Going to the Thank You Party and hearing M sing
-Going to spinning classes
-Seeing Burn the Floor with J &A
-Catching up with J &A
- GOING TO VEGAS for alll FUN with the fam
-Going to see Jersey Boys in Vegas
- Going to a nice dinner in Vegas with my brothers/sister-in laws.
Things not so great this month
-Getting weird blood work results back from my first Physical in many, MANY years
- Having our microwave crap out on us this weekend(making it the 3rd built in appliance in our kitchen to break in the last year)
I guess not a lot of 'not so great' things happening. I feel so busy, all the weekends seem so packed. And I know in the next few months with all the weddings i have this year, all the wedding related activities (shows, b-parties, etc) will only add up even more. The entire month of may is insane. O the costs of boarding my dog will make my head! (poor ode!). I only see a couple of work trips in the next quarter. One trip to DC and one trip to New Orleans. Both not looking so bad (both 3-4 days each). Things are good i think.... and we are still only in January (THANK GOSH!)
Until next time...
- Girls dinner at champs with J and S to meet up and catch up
- Pizza night with E, C, J, C and hanging out
- Hanging out wht B and A for dinner at their house
-Spending time with my sister in law and watching my Godson climb up the slide and down the slide all by himself
-Going to spinning classes
- Meeting up with my parents and having good conversation with a good dinner in Columbus
-The first book club meeting
-Trying out our new juicer for the first time with tangerines and apples
Things i am looking forward to this month:
-Seeing my best friend next weekend
-Going to the Thank You Party and hearing M sing
-Going to spinning classes
-Seeing Burn the Floor with J &A
-Catching up with J &A
- GOING TO VEGAS for alll FUN with the fam
-Going to see Jersey Boys in Vegas
- Going to a nice dinner in Vegas with my brothers/sister-in laws.
Things not so great this month
-Getting weird blood work results back from my first Physical in many, MANY years
- Having our microwave crap out on us this weekend(making it the 3rd built in appliance in our kitchen to break in the last year)
I guess not a lot of 'not so great' things happening. I feel so busy, all the weekends seem so packed. And I know in the next few months with all the weddings i have this year, all the wedding related activities (shows, b-parties, etc) will only add up even more. The entire month of may is insane. O the costs of boarding my dog will make my head! (poor ode!). I only see a couple of work trips in the next quarter. One trip to DC and one trip to New Orleans. Both not looking so bad (both 3-4 days each). Things are good i think.... and we are still only in January (THANK GOSH!)
Until next time...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thoughts of Babies
Isnt there a name for it? When you think about having babies a lot? What is that called? I cant think of it, but boy do i have it bad. I am not quite sure what has changed since even before the new year, but something definitely has. I haven't really talked about it at all outwardly, it feels awkward to say it out loud. In fact, i dont think i have said anything to anyone besides, well, Matt.
On my down time i work i find myself looking at my old HS friends facebook pictures, two of which had thier first child in the last couple months. I found myself looking at their baby room pictures, their pregnancy pictures, thier holiday pictures of 'baby's first Christmas.' What has gotten into me!?!?! Then i start thinking of what i would do for a baby room, and then what month of the year the baby's birthday would be depending on the time if i where to get pregnant, what social events i have (weddings, trips, work engagements, etc) during specific times of the year and how far along i would be. WHAT HAS gotten into me!?!?!
I really dont know where and when I felt the shift... or if this is just a passing thing. Usually when i have a glimmer of the idea pop into my head, it easily escapes depending on who i recently spend time with. I thought i would definitely lose the feeling after being around my family for multiple days in a row... I usually lose the feeling when i am around people who dont talk about it or it was never a topic of conversation. Mostly my friends and my family. But the funny thing is, i cant think of a few friends who babies are also on their mind now..... which makes me thing i may not be a lone... One of of the biggest adverse influences on my thoughts before were the fact that i would be alone since no one i know really closely of my friends will be having babies. But now i think of who my really good friends are and i can name a bunch who could be pregnant or have a child within the next 12-24 months.... A, J, S, J, T, maybe even F, ... who knows who else?
I have also probably come to realize that the big adverse idea is the least of my problems.... because the friends i think of first are really there for me no matter how much my schedule changes... and my life. I need to stop cramming the square peg in to the round hole.... its just not worth it anymore. I found myself reading websites and searching for sites for 'how do you know you are ready to have a baby'.... And instead of being scared away by it-- like it ordinarily would have--- i reaffirmed my new thoughts.
And re-affirmed my thoughts that 'are my friends ready for me to have a baby' shouldn't even be in the consideration set. AND if roles were reversed-- which often they are--- i would be THRILLED for any of my other friends to have a baby... i know the feeling would be shared. Especially those i find the closest to me now.
So then, Monday afternoon after work i found myself in the conversation about babies with Matt..... Now, i knew there would be no revelations since i know Matt has been ready for babies for years and years now. He told me-- as he has said once to me before--- that he knew he wanted kids early in life. Especially with his heart, and the various conditions that run in his family, that he knew he wanted to share the joy as early as possible to have the experience as long as possible since he has no idea how long he would be on this earth. That is truly inspiring, I love him for his reasons. And it is confirmed every time i see him with babies and kids of all ages. He lights up.
And then we talked about how we could not be more ready now too. We have been together for over 4 years, we are stable and comfortable in our own skin and in our marriage. We are financially stable and comfortable to afford the growing expenses that this wouldn't cause added stress. We have HUGELY supportive families, our friends will be great, and we are at the right age to START the stage of our life. And when I think about our daily life i lead with Matt, we really are ready to have a new addition. We do so much together with our free time, i am only imagining the possibilities of the enriched life we would with a third to share in it.
WOW. I had a lot to say i guess..... I hope there isnt another shift. I have a feeling about 2011 and the changing that will come in the new year. I dont know whats in store for me, but I am doing my darnedest to keep an open mind about it all. But i do have a feeling of excitement right now that i cant seem to kick out of my head... it's strange and new, and something i am not familiar with.....
God only knows that in store for us......
On my down time i work i find myself looking at my old HS friends facebook pictures, two of which had thier first child in the last couple months. I found myself looking at their baby room pictures, their pregnancy pictures, thier holiday pictures of 'baby's first Christmas.' What has gotten into me!?!?! Then i start thinking of what i would do for a baby room, and then what month of the year the baby's birthday would be depending on the time if i where to get pregnant, what social events i have (weddings, trips, work engagements, etc) during specific times of the year and how far along i would be. WHAT HAS gotten into me!?!?!
I really dont know where and when I felt the shift... or if this is just a passing thing. Usually when i have a glimmer of the idea pop into my head, it easily escapes depending on who i recently spend time with. I thought i would definitely lose the feeling after being around my family for multiple days in a row... I usually lose the feeling when i am around people who dont talk about it or it was never a topic of conversation. Mostly my friends and my family. But the funny thing is, i cant think of a few friends who babies are also on their mind now..... which makes me thing i may not be a lone... One of of the biggest adverse influences on my thoughts before were the fact that i would be alone since no one i know really closely of my friends will be having babies. But now i think of who my really good friends are and i can name a bunch who could be pregnant or have a child within the next 12-24 months.... A, J, S, J, T, maybe even F, ... who knows who else?
I have also probably come to realize that the big adverse idea is the least of my problems.... because the friends i think of first are really there for me no matter how much my schedule changes... and my life. I need to stop cramming the square peg in to the round hole.... its just not worth it anymore. I found myself reading websites and searching for sites for 'how do you know you are ready to have a baby'.... And instead of being scared away by it-- like it ordinarily would have--- i reaffirmed my new thoughts.
And re-affirmed my thoughts that 'are my friends ready for me to have a baby' shouldn't even be in the consideration set. AND if roles were reversed-- which often they are--- i would be THRILLED for any of my other friends to have a baby... i know the feeling would be shared. Especially those i find the closest to me now.
So then, Monday afternoon after work i found myself in the conversation about babies with Matt..... Now, i knew there would be no revelations since i know Matt has been ready for babies for years and years now. He told me-- as he has said once to me before--- that he knew he wanted kids early in life. Especially with his heart, and the various conditions that run in his family, that he knew he wanted to share the joy as early as possible to have the experience as long as possible since he has no idea how long he would be on this earth. That is truly inspiring, I love him for his reasons. And it is confirmed every time i see him with babies and kids of all ages. He lights up.
And then we talked about how we could not be more ready now too. We have been together for over 4 years, we are stable and comfortable in our own skin and in our marriage. We are financially stable and comfortable to afford the growing expenses that this wouldn't cause added stress. We have HUGELY supportive families, our friends will be great, and we are at the right age to START the stage of our life. And when I think about our daily life i lead with Matt, we really are ready to have a new addition. We do so much together with our free time, i am only imagining the possibilities of the enriched life we would with a third to share in it.
WOW. I had a lot to say i guess..... I hope there isnt another shift. I have a feeling about 2011 and the changing that will come in the new year. I dont know whats in store for me, but I am doing my darnedest to keep an open mind about it all. But i do have a feeling of excitement right now that i cant seem to kick out of my head... it's strange and new, and something i am not familiar with.....
God only knows that in store for us......
Monday, January 3, 2011
Welcome to 2011
Happy New Year! Wow i cant believe it's already 2011! Last year, 2010, happened so fast and it was chalk full of ups and downs. Overall it was a good year, but it was a tough follow-up to the exciting and eventful 2009. But such is life, and alas we arrive at the entry way of 2011. Gosh it sounds weird to say.
My New Years Eve was a much different pace this year; no friends around, no wild drinking activities, no late night-- just a casual evening with my whole family in Cincinnati. We cooked a nice dinner that included filet minion that Matt cooked to perfection, and drank some great wine my parents brought back from Italy. It was relaxing, not stressful, and well rested. The fam stayed the whole weekend and we went to the aquarium, the movies, the outlets/ Traders World, Jungle Jims and out to dinner with matt's parents and brother. It was nice, busy, not a bad way to kick off the new year.
I am anxious to see what this year has in store for us! I say that because as i kick off the new week of the new year i am full of anticipation... a new exciting feeling. I am not sure i felt this last year, but i do this year. I have a lot to look forward to in the next few months. And when i think about it, i know the months will fly by and before i know it will be over. Time sure has a funny way about it. Just this month we have my dad's highly anticipated Thank You party and the last weekend of hte month is VEGAS again but this time with Matt's family... which i know will be super fun. And lets not fail to mention ALL the weddings we have coming up this year- and of course the travel involved since i dont know of any that are in town yet. May will be particularly busy since we have two weddings (both out of town) and a week vacation on the Oasis of the Seas with both my family AND Matt's family, AND his aunt and cousin. Lots of fun will be had.
I think this will be the year of great friendships instead of stress-- i have come to know who some of the really cherished people are in my life... Especially those who are brand new to my life and have become irreplaceable. Some of my most favorite memories of last year were with the E and C, and C and J-- Matt's old friends and my new friends. Who knew that would happen? This gives me a feeling of hope and excitement coming into this new year. I cant wait for all the great memories in store for us!
I also have resolutions to work out more regularly.And i know i said this last year, but i hope Matt joins me in a new routine. It would be great to share a common goal again....Last year i was unsuccessful, I'm not even sure if matt went with me one time, but i sure hope something shifts this year. Maybe we can try eating healthier, after all Matt did get a juicer for Christmas this year.
Lots of things to keep me looking up, good things are in store for us this year. I hope i look back at this post on January 1, 2012 with a smile....because things will be different this year.
Happy NEW year, and welcome to the new start!
My New Years Eve was a much different pace this year; no friends around, no wild drinking activities, no late night-- just a casual evening with my whole family in Cincinnati. We cooked a nice dinner that included filet minion that Matt cooked to perfection, and drank some great wine my parents brought back from Italy. It was relaxing, not stressful, and well rested. The fam stayed the whole weekend and we went to the aquarium, the movies, the outlets/ Traders World, Jungle Jims and out to dinner with matt's parents and brother. It was nice, busy, not a bad way to kick off the new year.
I am anxious to see what this year has in store for us! I say that because as i kick off the new week of the new year i am full of anticipation... a new exciting feeling. I am not sure i felt this last year, but i do this year. I have a lot to look forward to in the next few months. And when i think about it, i know the months will fly by and before i know it will be over. Time sure has a funny way about it. Just this month we have my dad's highly anticipated Thank You party and the last weekend of hte month is VEGAS again but this time with Matt's family... which i know will be super fun. And lets not fail to mention ALL the weddings we have coming up this year- and of course the travel involved since i dont know of any that are in town yet. May will be particularly busy since we have two weddings (both out of town) and a week vacation on the Oasis of the Seas with both my family AND Matt's family, AND his aunt and cousin. Lots of fun will be had.
I think this will be the year of great friendships instead of stress-- i have come to know who some of the really cherished people are in my life... Especially those who are brand new to my life and have become irreplaceable. Some of my most favorite memories of last year were with the E and C, and C and J-- Matt's old friends and my new friends. Who knew that would happen? This gives me a feeling of hope and excitement coming into this new year. I cant wait for all the great memories in store for us!
I also have resolutions to work out more regularly.And i know i said this last year, but i hope Matt joins me in a new routine. It would be great to share a common goal again....Last year i was unsuccessful, I'm not even sure if matt went with me one time, but i sure hope something shifts this year. Maybe we can try eating healthier, after all Matt did get a juicer for Christmas this year.
Lots of things to keep me looking up, good things are in store for us this year. I hope i look back at this post on January 1, 2012 with a smile....because things will be different this year.
Happy NEW year, and welcome to the new start!
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